- 7 years ago
Hi everyone! I’ve been reading the boards here for a couple of months and now I’m finally posting my waiting story.
My BF and I have been together 3.5 years, living together for about 2.5 (with our two adorable cats that we adopted ;)) and I feel like I’ve been waiting for forever. We are both 28 and have successful careers. A little less than a year ago we had a huge fight about getting married. It started when my younger brother proposed to his girlfriend of 3 months. I am super happy for them, but it brought up a lot of feelings of insecurity for me. I kept thinking, “Doesn’t he know I’m the one yet?” “What is wrong with me?” Deep down I feel like I could wait a couple more years before we actually tie the knot, but I need to know that that is the direction we are headed (I did tell him exactly that). Anyway, because of the emotions tied into it, the argument we had was not very productive. Ultimately, he told me he could totally understand why I would need a timeline (especially from a biological perspective–my eggs aren’t getting any younger folks! not that I want kids anytime soon, but still). I told him that I did not want him to propose until after my brother’s wedding because I want them to have their time in the spotlight, but I said I did not want to wait more than 18 months for a proposal. I didn’t give an ultimatum, just a timeline. He agreed that it was reasonable and said that he would need time to save for ring since he does not want to purchase it on credit (which I completely agree with). Well, my brother gets married in less than two weeks and lately I’ve just been going crazy. To make matters worse, my best friend proposed to her girlfriend last week and that has started to bring up all of my issues again. Now I’m hitting myself for giving such a long timeline, if he were to string it out for the full 18 months I would still have a year more of waiting to do! ACK!!!
Ughhh, anyway, I’ve been unwittingly following Mr. Bees plan. I have not brought up engagement again since we had our talk almost a year ago. Lately though, HE’S been talking about buying a house together and having kids. Even naming our future children! He’s also visiting his family for his brother’s college graduation this weekend and he said that he thought it would be the last time that they would be alone together as a family–I’m trying not to read “because soon they will have a DIL” into that comment… Aside from the increase in him talking about our future, I don’t see any other clues that a proposal is happening any time soon. 🙁 He did get a new job with a huge pay increase, which I hope he is using to start saving. I feel like I can’t keep my mouth shut much longer about wanting to get engaged and start the next step of our lives together.
I can’t imagine waiting another year, how do you all do it?? Even my bosses are starting to tease me about when he will put a ring on it–it is bad enough to have my whole family doing that! I’m trying to tell myself to be patient because once it finally happens it will be that much better because we waited so long, but that’s starting to get old!
Any advice would be helpful…