Weddingbee boards

Hi,

So as some of you may know I've been with my bf for 2 years (not long I know) and am 28 (feeling old to not even being engaged let alone starting a family).

Anyway, a few of you dear bees pointed out to be (rightfully) that I have not been waiting that long and am perhaps not as old as I feel (and perhaps a little immature).

Sooo.....I have made a New Years Resolution not to mention getting engaged or married until my 29th birthday (November) after that all bets are off. I'm hoping not to mention anything about a future together etc (unless the topic is brought up by another party such as my bf).

Just wondered if any other bees had any similar resolutions

I couldn't make that resolution.  There was a time when I was talking about weddings and engagement and marriage almost non-stop.  I did have to censor myself for a while, but I realized that talking about a future together has been very healthy and rewarding for both of us.

Marriage, engagement, family, and future plans inevitably come up in conversation on somewhat of a regular basis.  Being on the same page in terms of when to get engaged/married/etc has been extremely reassuring for both of us.

Actually, SO has been watching a lot of wedding-related shows lately.  It's kind of making me wonder.  I feel confident in saying that it's about balance.  When I was bringing it up all the time, it wasn't productive.  I think if I stopped talking about it all together, it wouldn't be effective either.

Uggg this is my resolution this year. Bf said he can see himself proposing by our 5th anniversary. That's exactly a year and a half from now (June 16). So I promised that I leave him alone until then. I figure if he's FINALLY given me a timeline then there is absolutely no reason for me to bring it up right? But if June 16 2013 passes (the day I thought I'd be getting married, AAAARRRGGGG) and he hasnt proposed yet all bets are off and I will either nag that man into his grave or dump his ass.

I'm stealing this one! I don't have a resolution but I think this is a perfect one. Especially after my bf got kind of annoyed at me the other day for bringing up engagement.

We tease and annoy each other all the time...so I wanted to jokingly nudge him a little. I was watching one of those wedding shows on TV, and making funny (but kind of cruel comments that I would never make in public and didn't really mean--don't want to offend anyone on here) about the crazy looking or aesthetically challenged brides on TV. I was saying...."How is is that SHE'S getting a proposal from her man but I can't get one?" In a joking/teasing way of course.

I hadn't brought it up in a while and I've been doing really good! So I wanted to get in a few "jabs". But I'm gonna stop mentioning it now for good...or at least until our timeline is up. I know he's planning it and he kept saying, "I'm not cool with you bringing the proposal up. It's gonna happen soon but it's not like I'm gonna tell you when!" Hehe

@claireos: I know what you mean but I really do feel like I'm talking about it waaaay too much because it's on my mind all the time. I want to try and make it less of a priority (and enjoy my relationship as it is for a while) and take the pressure of him (last thing I want is to scare him off - he says he feels like a pawn at times in my quest to get married and have children, that can't be a good sign)

Ha :). I don't say the M word. I say the E word, and husband :P. 

I'm trying hard not to nag, but we are very pragmatic people and we talk about it a lot.. engagement, wedding planning, wedding, marriage, family, expenses, investments, future education blah blah blah. 

Not talking about things is like not breathing to us

@mcklough: I feel the same way!

@MrsGolden2Bee: I think it's great you have a timeline; I would feel far more secure with that and really I do - the bf and I had a talk last night (he brought it up) and he says if things stay on the path they're on I'll be engaged before I'm 30 (that's in 2 years) :-) Feeling a lot better for knowing there's a real possibility we will get engaged soon(ish)

@mcklough: I think it's really nice you can talk about stuff like that - my bf struggles with it not because he doesn't want it but because he was hurt in the past (he was planning to get engaged to his ex but she broke up with him - he had the arrangements all booked!) so he worries that I'll do the same and so finds it hard to open up about and even to think about really.

There is some good news here - my bf brought it up when he asked if the future was why I was in a mood one day and it all just sort of spilled out (I was at work at the time). When I got home we sat down and actually talked about it (which he finds hard but he led as he knew it was important) and he said that if things stay on the path they're on (e.g. we don't have any major issues arise or either of us lose our jobs) he doesn't see why I wouldn't be engaged to him by the time I'm 30 - that's in Nov 2013.

It's awful to admit but I feel like a weight has been lifted. I know my reslution will be so easy now - all I needed to know was that he had thought about it and it was in the pipeline - it's awful to say but I needed to know that to feel secure in our relationship.

@Papillon23: Lol I hear ya! I do feel young for it at times but then our families keep going on about it esp my sister who has 3 kids and is desperate to be an aunt (she knows we both want to be married before we have a family, we're kinda traditional that way). I think a lot of it is societal and familial pressures as you suggest but it's hard to ignore at times lol

@HopefulInLove: I know what you mean, guess the extra time'll give my bf a chance to make sure it's what he wants too (it'll also give me waaaaaaaaay oo much time to get totally paranoid about where and when he'll propose lol)

@WaitingtoBee: That's great news :-) I'm so happy for you :-D

There is some news on this - since I stopped mentioning it so much, my SO started talking about it more :-) It's unexpected but wonderful :-D