Post # 1
Hello! I’ve just joined here and thought I’d introduce myself a little bit to all of you. (I couldn’t find any specific place for new people, but if I’m posting in the wrong section I’m really sorry. Please feel free to move my post to wherever necessary if it needs to be done ). I have been lurking for a few days and am now looking forward to joining!
Anyway, my name is Zoe and I’m 19. I’m originally from the UK but moved to Nicaragua in Dec 2012 to live with my better half, Brenda. Yep, the names are right, I’m in a very happy same sex relationship! Brenda and I have been together since October 2011 and despite the challenges thrown our way, I’m proud of what we’ve come through and where we are now. I won’t go into details now but they basically include gender, age difference (she’s 30 next month) and the distance (I came here because she lived here). I’d do it all again for her.
So, after over two years together we’ve decided to start planning a wedding. Well to be honest, it’s been on the cards pretty much since we started dating. A month into the relationship she basically asked me to marry her haah. But it’s getting more official now, in April we’re hoping to go back to the UK to see my family and hopefully get an engagement ring for myself! We’ll be ordering it online, we would order it here but tax is 100% on jewellery so it would be double the price! Then, after she proposes, whenever/wherever she chooses to do it, we would like to get married 13th August next year. The reason for this particular date is because our anniversary is October 13th and August is probably the hottest time of the year for a wedding in the UK! Plus, I have a little sister still in secondary school so it fits in with her summer holidays too.
I know it’s going to be difficult planning a wedding 7000 miles away (we have to wed in the UK for legal reasons, same sex marriages aren’t legal here), but with the help of my grandmother, dad and sister I think we can do it. In the end though, we’ll only have about 10/11 days between arriving in the UK in late Juy/August to getting married! I know it sounds crazy.
So, we need all the advice and help we can get haha! Thank you for reading this if you got this far, I’m sorry for the length of this post. I’m so excited to join here and get to know everyone!
Post # 3
First of all, welcome! I wish I had some good advice for you, but it sounds like you’ll have a tough time planning a wedding from so far away! Are family members going to help you check out venues/vendors before you arrive? I’m actually curious how this works. Maybe bees in the UK could be helpfulif they know the area or bees who have done destination weddings might have good tips. That might be a good place to ask for advice with planning? Good luck with everything.
Post # 4
Welcome to WB and happy planning!
Post # 5
Welcome, Zoe! I hope the hive is helpful during your planning process! 🙂
Post # 6
Welcome! And CONGRATS!
There have been some SERIOUSLY gorgeous LGBT weddings around here, if you search “LGBT wedding” (and similar search terms)–Can’t wait to see yours!
Post # 7
Welcome! You will enjoy the Bee so much for helpful tips and advice 🙂
Post # 8
Thank you everyone!!
BriansBride, I will have help from my dad and his fiance mostly, as well as my best friend who is also my MOH. And we already know where the wedding will take place, we just need to find an accepting reception location and then that part should be sorted. (We haven’t officially booked anything yet though, hoping to get that ball rolling in April this year when we visit).
We only really want a small wedding, about 25-30 guests, most of which are family. So hopefully it will be easier, and cheaper, this way.
And I forgot to mention in my above post, we’ve already picked out my engagement ring (she doesn’t want one, I did offer), a 1 carat equivalent round Moissy which will be bought in April when we’re there!
Thank you for the warm welcomes everyone
Post # 9
@Mrs_Purple: Yay! Welcome! By the way, 100% tax on jewelry! That is crazy!!! Good choice to avoid that! haha
Post # 10
Hello there, m’dear! I’m UK based, a long term traveller, have lived all over the world, had an interfaith/Catholic wedding, and would be happy to give you advice on anything which might be relevant to your situation. Please feel free to drop me a line any time.
Welcome to the bee!
Post # 11
@Rachel631: Thank you for the offer, I will take you up on that!
I guess I should also mention that my FI is Catholic, Nicaragua is a Catholic country and so her family and everyone else here is Catholic too. We’re not affectionate in public, not even all of her family knows about us (one uncle who is homophobic, he himself has a gay son and won’t accept it, the son hasn’t even come out but it’s basically a know secret, and her grandmother, who has Alzheimer’s and we don’t want to upset her unnecessarily). Her religion does not affect us though, her siblings are very accepting of us, her dad more so than her mum but even she is getting more and more used to it. We don’t know how she will react when we tell her about the wedding though, and I know FI would like me to remove my engagement ring when we see her mum, which I’m not over the moon about but will do it avoid drama. This will not be happening with wedding rings though!
I think that’s everything covered now haha….
Post # 12
@Giraffelover: Yep, the world’s gone mad!!
Post # 13
@Mrs_Purple: Ah, I did wonder about Catholicism when you mentioned Nicaragua, which is why I brought it up. I’m a non-conformist/Methodist, but DH is Catholic, so I know about dealing with all of that side of things!
Post # 14
@Rachel631: I don’t really know how to define my religion. I consider myself Christian, I believe in God and everything, but I haven’t been baptised or christened or anything like that, and I’m not really one for regularly attending church. So, I’m not sure what I am haha. Our difference in fath no way deters our relationship, if anything it makes us stronger imo. I am worried about how our children will be raised though. I’d like them to have a knowledge of God, but not to go to church if they don’t want to, and especially to make their own choices. When I was younger my grandmother used to take me to church when I hated going, and it was awful. I am happy for my FI to take them to Catholic churches, but I also don’t want them to become Catholic just because it’s all that they know. I know how confusing I must sound and I’m sorry! I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t want any religion forced upon them, and I’m worried about FMIL doing this to some degree tbh. But children are quite far down the line, let’s just worry about the wedding first!
Post # 15
@Mrs_Purple: Ah, you’ll find this is a common problem, often discussed on here. DH and I have a disagreement on this issue… I say that I would like our children to attend both churches, and also to attend religious ceremonies with our non-Christian friends, and then to find their own path to the divine. He says that this could be confusing for a child.
Our main disagreements involve infant baptism (I am against, he is in favour), and Catholic first communion and confirmation (he is in favour, I say only when the child is old enough to actively decide for themselves).
Anyway, there’s a great bunch of ladies on here who will be sure to give you great advice when you need it. It’s an awesome community. They won’t always “get” you, if you are not American (I never realises before the bee that American culture is so different), and especially if you are non-American and religious (the American bees have different cultural cues which lead them to assume things about what you say which you don’t necessarily mean), but they are, in general, a really well meaning bunch of very nice ladies.
Hope you can make some lovely friends
Post # 16
Welcome! We are so glad you are here. Enjoy the planning process and definitely lean on all these wonderful women for advice. 🙂