Post # 1
I think it’s a common theme for women to be ready to get engaged far before the man thinks is practical. Such is my situation.
We had been dating about 8 months when we moved in, and were all set to start looking at rings – then we both lost our jobs. We agreed when he was employed again, we’d get engaged. He couldn’t find anything, so we both decided to go with our plan-b, grad school. We’re just finishing our first semester, and he has a year left, but I have 2 1/2 years left (silly law degree!). Now we’re waiting until he has a job out of grad school, and is able to save up for a very nice ring to get engaged, and since he will probably be relocating for work, possibly up to a year after I graduate for a wedding…that puts us at a 2013 wedding. 2012 in the fall at the earliest, as I will still have to take the bar after my graduation in May 2012. I’m already 25, and am not thrilled with the possibility of being nearly 29 by my wedding. Has anyone else had to deal with this type of timeline? His biggest reservation is finances – we’ll have student loans to deal with, and hopefully jobs, as well as the usual life obligations. I’m a little frustrated because, while I know it’s practical to push the wedding back so far, I feel like I would like our relationship to be legally legitimized, and I get the feeling that he keeps pushing it back further and further. TIA for any advice/encouragement!
[xposted to the hive a few days ago]
Post # 3
I can understand the finance situation, and we waited 5 years before getting engaged. maybe in a situation like yours, when you want to b married so baldy you could do the whole courthouse wedding thing, have a small party with friends and family. and then on your one year or whenever you would like have the big ceremony and reception that you have always wanted.
my brother and sister in law did this. they live in germany, she is polish and he is in the navy over there. well you have to have two seperate things anyways in a lot of european countries, so that got married last august, had a small party, she wore a super cute white dress and he wore a nice suit, and they took some nice pics. but next year we are all flying to Poland for the actual wedding. I dont think of it as any less special, and we are very excited about it.
also my FI and I may get marriend in the next couple months but keep out wedding dat next fall. this way we are married, and makes some financial things easier, and we have time to save.
hope this helps!
Post # 4
One of my bff’s dated her guy for 6 years before they got engaged. They met during sophomore year in college and then they dated thru law school also. total of 7 years.
Btw, they’re happy, still in love, have 3 beautiful kids, and had one of the most gorgeous weddings I’ve ever seen (or been in for that matter!).
My friend was quite impatient by the end of the 6 year dating stint (married by 7) so her FI bought her a ring and then at the end of law school when he joined his practice, he purchased a larger center stone for her about six months before the wedding,.
How about maybe saying “size doesn’t matter..I want the promise” like my friend did and tell her what my friends’ hubby did? It was so cute..for one of their bridal parties, he presented her with another ring box and the solitaire diamond inside of it. He said it was like getting engaged all over again!!! 🙂
Post # 5
I understand. I have been w/ my boyfriend for 4 and a half years and he wants to wait until after he gets his degree to get engaged. I have another year and a half or so until he graduates. So maybe a 2 years and some odd months until he proposes… then maybe another 1 and a half-2 years after that until the wedding. It’s a long time but I like the idea of us being 100% financially stable before we get married. Engaged, on the other hand, I wish was happening right about NOW! Which is where the waiting board comes in hehe