- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Hi everyone 🙂 I came across this board and it seems much friendly than the one i was previously using so i thought i’d join.
I’m 27 and from England, me and my FI are getting married next month in Connecticut. We are sort of eloping and then having a small reception when we get home.
With only a few weeks to go i feel so miserable that my wedding has been overshadowed by a horrid year.
(Don’t mean to sound like a big baby!) but we saved up for quite a while, living on a tight budget and going without things so that we could get married sooner rather than later. Then, last year i found out that FI had been not saving/taking the savings out of our account because he had been wasting away his wages. I was completely devestated since i’d gone without so many things to save as hard as i could and because i never dreamed that FI would lie to me or betray me in any way.
Anyway, the money problem had a knock on effect for the rest of the year and has been really stressful. (we put all the money towards the wedding at the expense of me taking the exams i’d been studying all year for, not going out socially, buying new things,not being able to pay off FI over draft in time and struggling when our fridge broke…that kinda thing,)
We put all the deposits down at the end of Jan 2012 and were confident that we could still make the payments and get married when we originally planned.
One week later FI was made redundant. Luckily it wasn’t going to be for a few months but it was a huge strain.(he was made redundant again then got another job though he hates it).
Following that, a family friend died, i fell out with my only ‘sort of’ family, my dog got sick resulting in stress and large vet bills. We had to move home because our landlord was using our house to commit benefit fraud(he’s still causing problems with us and is witholding our deposit desite us jumping through hoops and leaving the house in better condition than we found it). Our new neighbours hate us because our dog was whining when we were going to work( he wouldn’t except that our dog needed time to settle) and my job(i hated because my new collegues were really bitchy) took long to commute to than our research suggested because of unrealiable trains etc.
Then i had a really awful birthday(every year with FI he’s barely made an effort with me resulting in arguements, every year he promised would be better. plus i put in 110% effort into his birthday 11 days before mine) and i begun to get more and more depressed. I quit my job, but had three other potential jobs to persue but each fell through. that was two months ago and i’m still unemployed.
We’re pushing to get the deposit from old landlord back and then we have enough for the wedding but i worry about what happens when we get back if i can’t find a job. FI parents gve us about £1500 over the 2years we were saving towards the wedding and as our joint birthday and xmas presents and i’m truely grateful but it doesn’t even cover what FI spent so it doesn’t mean we can do something more with it iykwim?
I have no local friends, the ones i do have rarely ask about the wedding, i have no close family and FI’s family are taking no interest in our wedding. they only really want to talk about the reception/party. it makes me feel like i’ve missed out on all the build up and excitement. even me and FI haven’t done much together planning wise, since he works long hours. We’ve argued more than ever before, it’s so crappy it’s like another time when i wanted what ‘other people have’ and not get it. i feel like if i didn’t plan it all it wouldn’t be happening and with everyone’s lack of interest i feel like it’s not as special as it should be or people aren’t taking us seriously.
i’m just really disappointed. i feel like we’re being punished for not having a traditional wedding. but our thinking was, that we didn’t want to spend a huge amount of money and then have to save for years and years for our own house, we wanted a wedding within 2 years and not have to wait ages to afford it. Since i have no close family, it would be upsetting to have a traditional wedding. I have half sibilings though they have treated me really badly over the last 10 years except they would’ve epected an invite. i wouldn’t have wanted to invite people that had hurt me or not supported me through my life but would’ve invited friends etc but was too scared of the backlash i would’ve got from those people and to others on the outside who didn’t know how i was treated, would’ve thought i was a really, really bad person. we liked the idea of going abroad(i’ve always wanted to visit America) and we would have a honeymoon and travel at the same time and the whole thing costing a fraction of an average wedding. this choice was right for us, yet because of it people seem to think it’s not as real, special.
… i didn’t imagine this was what my wedding would be like.
If you’ve continued to read this far. thank you 🙂
I needed to get it off my chest. Sorry for the length of the post.