newbie at TTC…how to keep my mind sane?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

it’s hard.  i was on bcp for 14 years and also went off in june.

last month was our first cycle trying.  i am now in my 2nd TWW.

last month i was sure i was pregnant, sympton spotted like crazy, took 2  FRER tests and was very sad when AF showed up.

this month i told myself i couldn’t be crazy, i will not take a pregnancy test til after the day AF is due, which is coming up in 3 days.

i just take it one day at a time, it is a stressful process.

Post # 4
Member
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I came off birth control at the end of July and like you started not trying, not planning… just wanted to see what would happen. In August when I didn’t get my BFP I was more disappointed than I thought I would be. To keep myself sane, I went out and bought a few dollar store ovulator tests . I didn’t tell DH about it until he asked… didn’t want to seem like I was going crazy so early into the process. I was just curious as to what was going on with my body. It’s nice to know right? Just so happens the first OPK I took, I was ovulating….so we went to ‘er and I got my BFP two weeks later. I feel like as much as we can never be in control of the outcome, it helped me to know that we at least hit my fertile time. I felt more relaxed. If we hadn’t of gotten our BFP that month I think I might have started temping shortly thereafter. 

I also found it helpful to try and keep my mind occupied with my work and fun activities in the TWW. Otherwise I would have gone crazy. I finally broke down and took a test at 10DPO. It was negative, but then I got a faint positive the next night. We are now 16 weeks 🙂

Post # 5
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@HeLovesDogs:  It can be a difficult process, I won’t lie to you. We’re on our seventh cycle. I’ve been temping this whole time, but I just started using OPKs last cycle. I find that it helps calm me. I can SEE what’s happening. Okay, two lines, I’m about to ovulate. Okay, temperature rise, I have ovulated. But some people find that kinda thing more stressful. Sorta just depends on you. 

I find that every “milestone” is the worst. The first month you don’t get pregnant stings like hell. Then three months come along and you’re a bit more frustrated because you’re bombarded by all this “research” that says x amount of people are pregnant by then. Then six months, and again, that “research” gets you. 

But you know what? You just have to sit down and think about what’s awesome about your life now. I had that “come-to-Jesus” moment at the beginning of this cycle. I realized I was focusing SO MUCH on what life would be like once I got my BFP that I sort of forgot about living my life in the here and now. I’m not going to say it’s been really easy to keep up with that positive line of thinking, but I KNOW that’s how I need to think. I absolutely cannot let TTC consume me, and neither can you. We only have so much control over it, so we HAVE to let it go sometimes. 

Post # 6
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s tough. If you want to “stay sane” as in not think about it much and just let it happen, then I would avoid these boards, avoid googling TTC-related things, don’t look up statistics, never take a pregnancy test until your period is really late, don’t allow yourself time to spend on the computer obsessing, etc. 

If you want some level of control over the process, then I would chart using temperatures and possibly OPKs, research, and spend time on the boards…but even if that’s the route you take, still limit yourself to x amount of time spent on this per day. 

Above all, enjoy the process with your husband – it can be super stressful for BOTH of you (who knew having tons of sex would be stressful?), so make sure you take the time to enjoy it and be a team. 

Post # 7
Member
1847 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@HeLovesDogs:  It can definitely be an overwhelming thing – last month we were NTNP, and today is day 2 of our first ‘true’ TTC cycle! It’s exciting but I totally know what you mean about wanting to stay sane and not get too obsessive.. I have to try not to be too serious with myself – I like to cruise around the pregnancy and baby boards here and YouTube videos of pregnancy announcments, and then once I’ve sufficiently tortured myself, I daydream about hilarious ways to tell DH that I’m pregnant, whenever it happens….

I’m thinking it is going to have to involve some sort of Maury spoof…..

🙂

Post # 8
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is very hard.  

I was on BC for almost 20 years.  Stopped in July, had 28 day cycles and we used condoms.

Last month we decided it was time to start TTC.  I think the stress changed my cycle to 26 days and the first time we were going to dtd, I had an upset stomach all day.  This was the first time in my life I ever had 100% unprotected sex.  

I do not want to temp right now, I want it to be as natural as possible and fun.  With Thanksgiving, I know we missed our day.  I am sad but realistic that it is about timing and not me.  As much as the internet is helpful, my anxiety is high.  It is very nerve racking to read all about infertility and miscarriages.

 

Post # 9
Member
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@HeLovesDogs:  Look on the bright side, sometimes after stopping BCP it takes awhile to get your period back. It sounds like your body is in working order so thats great!! 

Focus on whatever makes you happy, good luck!

Post # 10
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

@Mrs.H2B:  

@Peffy:  

What OPK do you recommend?  I’ve heard they can be expensive.

Post # 11
Member
6067 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Peffy:  I agree with you there. It’s so easy to let ttc take over your everyday life to the point where you aren’t really living your life anymore- you aren’t living in the moment.

I’m dealing with hope, excitement, fear, and anxiety as all people do who are ttc…but I use mindfulness techniques to reign me in from the excessive obsession.

In other words, I try to live in the moment as much as possible by being aware of my feelings and the reasons I’m having those feelings.That helps you to step back from the frenetic feelings.

Also, I try to pay attention to events in the present-moments between me and my husband that I treasure (that are separate from the ttc journey), a trip that’s coming up, cooking, my career goals, etc…

It’s not a light switch, but staying “mindful” helps with the frenzy.

Post # 12
Member
6067 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@E_Lynne615:  hilarious! what a great idea. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods

@Christy42213:  You can order Wondfo OPK’s online for quite cheap. I would avoid the multipack that comes with pregnancy tests. The pregnancy tests they sent in mine were from two different batches, both of them bad batches. The OPK’s are great though. If the test line is equal to darke than the control then the opk is + and you should O approx. 24-48 hours afterwards. Some folks have issues reading them, but if you’re not sure if it’s +, just take a pic and post in on here and soem seasoned opk users will help you confirm. http://www.amazon.com/Wondfo-Step-Ovulation-Strips-50-Count/dp/B004IJHDN6

The clearblue digital ones are often reccommended, but they are quite expensive. I used them for a few months, but I had issues with the test reader failing. They’re too expensive to fail IMHO.

Post # 14
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Christy42213:  I use the ClinicalGuard brand. I order them on Amazon. $10 + free shipping for 50!

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