- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
I’m new here an could really use some advice.
Shortly after getting engaged, I asked my fiance’s sister to be a bridesmaid. She accepted, but now I am picking up the vibe that she does not want to be one. She lives far away and has complained about the cost of travel (I totally sympathize with this), the time of year, the color scheme of wedding, where we will be staying, etc. – every aspect of the wedding that involves her she has complained about (never to me but to others and they tell me).
Me and the other bridesmaids will be staying at one place and getting ready together…but she wants to stay somewhere else and get ready by herself. She says she is “just not social.” As a bridesmaid, shouldn’t she be getting ready for the wedding with me and the other bridesmaids? If she doesn’t want to be a part of things, why did she accept?
I get the feeling she does not want to be a bridesmaid and is reluctant to tell me. I also think she feels pressure from the groom’s side of the family to attend the wedding and play this role even if she doesn’t want to or doesn’t want to spend the money on attending the event. (I think cost is a big factor.)
I don’t want her to feel obligated to be a bridesmaid if she’d rather not be one.
Should I mention it to her that it’s okay for her to no longer be a bridesmaid if she’d rather not be one? I don’t want her to take it like I’m kicking her out…I’m not! I’m just trying to decide if I should give her a chance to step down if she wants one.
Tricky situation. What do you all think?