Newbie – need support for wedding disappointment – feeling depressed

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Hugs…sorry things didn’t go as planned. I think it is often the case for brides that they build up this perfect day in their head and it is very hard for reality to live up to it.

By all means complain to the hotel and photographer if you weren’t happy with their service. Maybe you can get some money back that you can put towards another photo session for family and friends, or a nice dinner out. In the end you are still married to a wonderful man, and you have the rest of your lives to make up for any unexpected wedding stress. So try to let it go and look forward to a happy future.

Post # 3
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Kiawah Island


It doesn’t matter how much you plan, the weather and “other people” can always screw it up.

Here are my suggestions:

  1. Write reviews to give other brides the heads up about your lousy vendors.
  2. Sell or consign stuff from your wedding that you don’t plan to keep as heirlooms.  Out of sight, out of mind.
  3. Focus on the good things that happened that day such as the people you loved who showed up and move on with being married.  At the end of the day, the goal of the wedding was to get married.  Mission accomplished.

Feel better soon!

Post # 5
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

Luckily today is the first day of the rest of your life.


Plan romantic meals and outings even if they are local.  Invite friends and colleagues around to a small party.  

After 26 years of marriage I can say that my wedding day was not the best day of my life.  The best was, and is, yet to come.

Post # 6
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014


curlyh:  You are not alone. We had a lot of things not go as planned as well. Every once in a while, these issues pop into my mind but I just have to remind myself that we achieved what we wanted to achieve. We are now married.

There is no use focusing on the negative things that happened. In time, you will feel better and a lot of these issues you had will be a good story to tell.

Just know that these things happen at wedding all the time. There is never, or rarely a wedding day that goes perfectly.

Post # 8
689 posts
Busy bee

((hugs)) Plan a special anniversary especially for yourselves to make some special memories that you feel you missed out on. 

Post # 9
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

curlyh: I really feel for you. First I wonder if you have sought treatment for your depression at all? Do you have anyone you can talk to about this to help you work through it?

Know that everyone has things go wrong, whether it’s at work or in personal life or on a special wedding day. There is no rhyme or reason to it, these things just happen and it is not a personal attack on you. You survived all the other tough times and you will survive this one as well.

As long as you keep replaying the bad parts of the day, it will make it impossible for you to move on. Try your best to look to the future and think about what went well that day. Find something else you can look forward to and focus on that. Focus on making your husband and daughter feel the intense love you have for them despite hiccups from that day. 


Post # 11
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

curlyh:  Sounds like it was not your day at all. I’m so sorry it didn’t go as planned. Shame on the vendors for being so unprofessional and shame on family for making things harder rather than easier. Still, moving on will be a relief.

It does sound like you may be back in a bout of depression. If possible (I don’t know your health care situation abroad; I know my own is a hassle), try to take care of yourself. Get yourself a therapist and talk through some of this “punishment” that you spoke of. Get back on meds. You can’t be there for your family if you aren’t there for yourself first.

Post # 12
10906 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m so sorry that things didn’t go as you had planned.  If it helps, there are other bees who have also struggled with post-wedding disappointment.  I’ve commented about mine on a number of threads, and I will provide a link here of a thread in which many of us shared our stories. I hope reading through them will help you.  HUGS!


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