(Closed) Newly engaged, and not sure his family approves.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@AcrossTheStars:  I think you’re overreacting and it sounds to me like you had an EXACT idea of what you wanted.  There wasn’t enough excitement but then there were far too many questions for your liking.  So what exactly were you seeking when sharing the news?  In any walk of life, including something as spectaluar (in your mind) as your engagement, you can not have such a precise set of expectations and get bummed out when you don’t get them.  Put your big girl panties on girlfriend!  Not everyone is going to be goo-goo-ga-ga over this news, especially his family members who basically have no idea who you are.  And you don’t think his parents approve?  Tough shit for them.  He picked you.  He proposed to you.  He’s marrying you.  It’s not my intent to be harsh, just giving you some much needed tough love!  Part of being an adult (which at 19 you got some learning to do – no offense) is making choices that are right for you and to hell with everyone else!

And FYI – prepare yourself to deal with this for the remainder of your wedding planning, you will not make everyone happy and people will not hesitate to let you know!  You really need to learn how to adjust your expectations of people (if not completely eliminate them).  There is a direct correlation between high expectations and perpetual disappointment.  The less you expect, the happier you will be!

Congratulations on the engagement and best of luck with planning!

Post # 4
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@AcrossTheStars:  thing aren’t always what they seem. if you went in anxious andd hesitant to announce they likely were unsure if how to react. not everyone will react the way we would like, but at the wnd of the day its what you think that matters.

 

And for what it counts for, my moms an artist and my dads an engineer. moms five years older and they have an incredible relationship. compatability isn’t always easy to judge, they have been married for over 25 years. 

 

I am sure you will find acceptance and happiness with your fiance and his family soon enough. good luck! 

Post # 5
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@AcrossTheStars:  Just know that you can never make everyone happy. I know it is hard, but that’s really all you can do. And as for your age differences and career differences- I wouldn’t say that matters at all, and his family is silly if they think some people who are very different cannot be compatible. My SO is a computer engineer and I am finishing a degree in biology. We have totally different approaches to how we think about things and do things. So, it isn’t as different as you two but it still keeps things interesting! Oh, and people asking annoying questions is unfortunately part of llife as well 🙁

Post # 6
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

That sucks. My FH’s dad was all sarcastic and stuff when we first got engaged. Maybe they just dont know how to react. And maybe because you havemt met a lot of the family they feel out of the loop. I would let some time pass to see how things play out. Hopefully they will warm up to you. Good luck!!

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