Post # 1
I’m totally new to this website and forums in general so I apologize if I’m posting in the wrong place! I’ve looked through many boards and haven’t seen anything on my “special situation” -Either way, I’m so excited to be here & hopefully can get some advice!
A little background: my sweetie & I have been dating for over 7 years and last night, he popped the question! Yayyyyy :] It was nothing special as far as what you grow up thinking it will be (on the knee, photos taken as he proposes, flash mob, ect.) … but it was very special to me because it was simple and I know it took a lot of courage for him to do it! He had been gone for over a week & just got home, we were laying in bed – just enjoying each other’s company & then he asked!
My question is… we live a few hours away from our parents and BOTH parents have expressed in the past that they want to be the first to know. No one knows yet, so it’s not like one party knew ahead of time.
I want to tell them all at the same time, but none of them have smartphones or are up with technology, so we couldn’t do like a webcam thing… and also, we never get together with both families so if we decided to have a dinner, they’d know something’s up for sure.
Im not concerned with the creative element so much… the question basically is, how do we tell them at the same time so we don’t hurt feelings? Any input would be much appreciated!! Thank you! :]
Post # 3
He calls his parents while you call yours would seem the easiest way!
Post # 4
You call your parents and he calls his parents. Do they know he was going to propose? I just text my mom a picture of the ring and FI’s parents already knew and FI asked my dad of course so my parents already knew too. I don’t think it matters if one set knows before the other.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House
What PPs said, or a conference call!
Post # 6
@MandEm: Tell them separately and swear the first set to secrecy. (EDIT: I meant to not tell anyone else about the engagement, not to lie about being told first).
Personally I would tell your parents first, as a nod to the tradition that groom asks the bride’s parents for their blessing, but that is up to you.
I’ll add that the parents have made a ridiculous request – you can’t ask to be told first, especially when someone has an equal claim to be told first. I think the groom’s parents will understand that there is a tradition to talk to the bride’s parents first. If they’re not understanding of that, that you spoke to them 30 minutes before, it’s pretty childish of them.
Post # 7
@MandEm: You ring your parents at the same time your fiance (yay congrats) rings his parents. That way when they ask you can say “Well actually he is on the phone to them right now” That way neither gets to know before the other 🙂
We did the dinner thing as I was in a similar situation as yourself, however I didn’t KNOW I was getting engaged at the time lol! It was a surprise on the way to the dinner 🙂 So it was nice we decided to get the parents together (we had been together 5 years at the time and they still hadn’t met, slack I know)
Another big congrats!! Simple engagements are always lovely! Mine was similar, him on one knee, the sun setting behind him at the beach! It was just so romantic and perfect!
Post # 8
I agree with PPs – you calling your parents at the same time he calls his parents would be easiest. However, if it’s particularly important to you that you both tell each sets of parents together, then I say just organise a dinner. Yes, they’ll know something is up, but does that matter? It seems that their primary concern is being the first people that you tell about the engagement, so it doesn’t matter if everyone has already guessed there’s an engagement due to the dinner plans, provided that you haven’t actually told anyone about it.
Post # 9
@BrandNewBride: I’m thinking this is the easiest way too!
@MrsN14: Many votes for this type of approach! No one knows he was going to propose 😉
@lizzieb: I’m thinking a conference call would be REALLY great!
@paula1248: I did not realize it was tradition to tell my parents first 😉 And I’m not saying that they are going to be super upset, but that IS my fear – I’m simply trying to avoid upsetting anyone or starting the families off on a sour note.
@Jacofblues: YAY! Thank you for the congrats! 🙂 That’s a great suggestion to say to them – just in case – they say anything about it.
@JulietFoxtrot: I just want to avoid people being upset – ideally they’d all be happy for us and not care, but you never know 😉 As it’s the holidays, organizing a dinner together could actually work without a second thought!
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS! I appreciate it! ♥
Post # 10
A conference call seems like the easiest solution. I wouldn’t want to end up making one set of parents lie.
Post # 11
@julies1949: I think a conference call would be fun – I’m actually having surgery in December so perhaps I could be the one that lies, saying I need to update them all about my surgery!
Post # 12
i vote you call them both at the same time. really though, it’s not like they’re going to be able to find out that you didn’t call them at the same time if you told one set first, are they? i wouldn’t worry about needing to surprise them by making up an excuse to have a conference, either..just tell them!
Post # 13
@li612: Thank you so much for your input!
Post # 14
@MandEm: Your more than welcome 🙂 Enjoy being engaged!!! And good luck with the parents! I am sure it will go well!
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House
@MandEm: I think so too! We ended up having to keep a secret for a WHOLE MONTH to be able to tell his parents in person!
Oh, and congrats 🙂