Newly Engaged: How To Tell Both Sets of Parents, at Same Time, Long Distance?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

He calls his parents while you call yours would seem the easiest way!

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You call your parents and he calls his parents. Do they know he was going to propose? I just text my mom a picture of the ring and FI’s parents already knew and FI asked my dad of course so my parents already knew too. I don’t think it matters if one set knows before the other. 

Post # 5
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

What PPs said, or a conference call!

Post # 6
Member
7193 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MandEm: Tell them separately and swear the first set to secrecy. (EDIT: I meant to not tell anyone else about the engagement, not to lie about being told first).

Personally I would tell your parents first, as a nod to the tradition that groom asks the bride’s parents for their blessing, but that is up to you.

I’ll add that the parents have made a ridiculous request – you can’t ask to be told first, especially when someone has an equal claim to be told first. I think the groom’s parents will understand that there is a tradition to talk to the bride’s parents first. If they’re not understanding of that, that you spoke to them 30 minutes before, it’s pretty childish of them.

Post # 7
Hostess
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MandEm:  You ring your parents at the same time your fiance (yay congrats) rings his parents. That way when they ask you can say “Well actually he is on the phone to them right now” That way neither gets to know before the other 🙂

We did the dinner thing as I was in a similar situation as yourself, however I didn’t KNOW I was getting engaged at the time lol! It was a surprise on the way to the dinner 🙂 So it was nice we decided to get the parents together (we had been together 5 years at the time and they still hadn’t met, slack I know)

Another big congrats!! Simple engagements are always lovely! Mine was similar, him on one knee, the sun setting behind him at the beach! It was just so romantic and perfect!

Post # 8
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

I agree with PPs – you calling your parents at the same time he calls his parents would be easiest.  However, if it’s particularly important to you that you both tell each sets of parents together, then I say just organise a dinner.  Yes, they’ll know something is up, but does that matter?  It seems that their primary concern is being the first people that you tell about the engagement, so it doesn’t matter if everyone has already guessed there’s an engagement due to the dinner plans, provided that you haven’t actually told anyone about it.

Post # 10
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

A conference call seems like the easiest solution. I wouldn’t want to end up making one set of parents lie.

Post # 12
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i vote you call them both at the same time.  really though, it’s not like they’re going to be able to find out that you didn’t call them at the same time if you told one set first, are they?  i wouldn’t worry about needing to surprise them by making up an excuse to have a conference, either..just tell them!

Post # 14
Hostess
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MandEm:  Your more than welcome 🙂 Enjoy being engaged!!! And good luck with the parents! I am sure it will go well!

Post # 15
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

@MandEm:  I think so too! We ended up having to keep a secret for a WHOLE MONTH to be able to tell his parents in person! 

Oh, and congrats 🙂

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