Post # 1
DH and I finally got some seven month-awaited good news today: two pink lines! (OK, actually like 10 LOL)
Now I’ve run into a tough situation. We’re visiting our families 10 hours away for the holidays. No one in my family smokes, but my FIL is a chimney. I don’t want to be around him while he smokes, of course, but I also don’t want to have to tell everyone why – it’s way too soon! Unfortunately, he’s not exactly a reasonable man, especially when it comes to his vices. (He once yelled at DH who had a sinus infection for rolling down the window while FIL was smoking in the car 🙁 )
What should I do? We can ask him to step outside, but without a good reason, he’ll throw a fit and refuse (“This is MY house ^#*#@!”) And though we can certainly give him a good reason to, I think it’s WAY to soon to be saying anything.
Post # 3
I don’t think you have anything to worry about. If it bothers you, try to leave the room.
Post # 4
Are you staying with them? I hope that’s not the case. As for him smoking in his house, do you think there is any way to get them out of the house? Tell them you want to take them out to a nice dinner and wouldn’t dream of making them cook or something? Honestly, being around smoke makes me so sick that I couldn’t handle that at all!
Post # 5
Getting them out of the house won’t work the whole time, but maybe the second day. MIL is already planning dinner for the 25th.
i always end up with a horrible headache and stuffy sinuses just from visiting. So does DH. We’re not staying with them because of that (and the fact that there is no spare room in their tiny house.)
I guess if I get desperate, I can always go outside for a walk. In Detroit. In December.
Post # 6
@charismaclassic: Aww I’m sorry you are going through this!
Could you use a headache excuse? Maybe say, I have a really bad headache could you step outside?
Maybe also limit the amount of time you spend at the house. Instead of going over there to chit-chat, maybe suggest they meet you for coffee or something where you would be free from the smoke.
Post # 7
Congrats ! I can’t wait till I can say the same !!
My hubby smokes and so do his parents. In the house, all time. I’m so worried about this and I’m not even pregnant yet. I understand you don’t want to share your news yet so I’m not sure what you can do 🙁
I guess I just wanted to say congrats 🙂
Post # 8
I think the idea of saying you have a headache is a really good one. It will also let you say you need to go back to the hotel to lie down. And honestly, with all the smoke, it’s pretty likely you would have a headache anyway :(. I know he yelled at your DH, but since you’re not immediate family, maybe he’ll just begrudgingly listen instead of yelling at you.
Congrats and good luck!
Post # 9
I think I would just say you have a headache and excuse yourself.
Post # 10
@charismaclassic: I like the headache excuse but couldn’t you use it for yourself and just excuse yourself from the room when he smokes? I’m not pregnant but I do have averse reactions to different kinds of smoke so temporarily leaving works well for me. Then neither of you have to go out in Detroit in the winter… can’t be comfortable for him to freeze out there either you know? And he doesn’t sound like he’d be pleasant about it, since unfortunately it is his house 🙁 Previous ideas about not spending much time there are also good!
And Congratulations! 🙂
Post # 11
Could you lie and say you just visited the doctor and found out you’re allergic to cigarette smoke? Ugh, I smoked for years and still think smoking inside is just….icky. 🙁
Post # 12
Can you pull out the allergy card? I have horrid allergies and it’s the only way I was able to get my folks from smoking in the house. Blech.
Otherwise, just excuse yourself from the room–he probably won’t even notice, you know?