Newly waiting…I guess?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m with you! I never wanted to get married until I met my BF. Now that we’ve agreed that we will get married, I keep wondering when he’ll just propose already! for our anniversary this month, he gave me two promise rings, saying he doesn’t want to propose in the summer (because I hate summer). But now all he wants to do is discuss wedding plans, guest lists, etc., and I’m like, “We’re not even engaged!!” Oh well…boys. Gotta love them. 

Post # 4
53 posts
Worker bee

Welcome – I’ve only just signed up as well. Like yourself, I’ve been reading here for a while and only yesterday got the courage to actually post. You’re so not alone. It’s a strange place to be, wanting and wishing and waiting but feeling very self-conscious and consumed by thoughts of how badly we’d like that proposal to happen. 

Post # 5
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Beach


I was like you when my Bf and I decided we wanted to get married. I did exactly what you did – showed him a picture of the style I liked, and we went with it. 

As awful as it sounds, you will have to wait for it to happen! And trust me, DON’T put on the pressure because it WON’T feel as organic or genuine. He is probably waiting for the right moment to do it. I waited 3 months before my BF proposed on our “dating” anniversary.

Good luck. And in the meantime, keep pinning those wedding ideas!

Post # 6
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I’m in a similar position and have been lurking for a while too! I think it’s great the idea of being engaged keeps niggling…. shows its something you really do want even if you’re not ready to think about the big day.  I’m waiting too but I think I know his plan 😉 or part of it!  We’ve been talking about the wedding for a week or so and it’s fun!  I’m going to make the most of the little engagement/wedding bubble we’re in as I’m sure reality will snap me out of it soon :). Enjoy xx

Post # 8
53 posts
Worker bee

Oh if only my SO had a plan…. lol. We’ve been together about 3.5 yrs, living together for 1.5 of that. We’re a little older (40’s-ish) and this will be our second marriage, both hefting a fair amount of baggage from bad first marriages. We’re really lucky to have found each other, after the crap we both had to endure before, and we behave together in a way that reflects appreciation of that. But… if it were up to him, we’d never get married. We’re common-law and that’s good enough for him. 

I, on the other hand, am not. I made my intentions VERY clear at the beginning of this relationship (that I intended to marry again). He kept joking at the time that he was never getting married again, and I had to straight up ask if he was serious, because if that was true, I needed to re-evaluate how I felt about that (aka, potentially stop the relationship in its tracks before getting in too deep). He said no, it was just a joke, and that it likely wouldn’t take him as long to propose as it had to his first wife. That timeline has since come and gone. 

I have children from before, and he is not interested in having his own (though he’s great with my teenagers), so that’s not really one of the issues for me. Having gone back to my maiden name, I don’t get to share a name with either my SO or my children, and I believe there’s power in doing so (“team” affliation if you will). I also am dying to lose the vaguity of our titles in relationship to one another, both for our own and others’ ease. The list goes on, but those are two big ones for me. 

I totally get and respect that a lot of people don’t need this old tradition and why they don’t, but I also want them to respect that if I do, it doesn’t somehow make me emotionally weaker than them. 

At any rate, we’re both in the middle of finalizing divorces, and we’ve already decided that next summer will be the wedding…. but we have yet to get officially engaged. I’m told we’ll go ring shopping together and there will be no big surprise or formal proposal, which, surprisingly, I’m totally ok with. Still very anxious for this engagement to come soon though. 


Leave a comment

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors