Post # 1
I can personally say that I definitely felt ‘newlywed blues’ but I only say so with certainty because more time has passed and I feel better, more ‘normal’ again.
Can anyone else relate?
I felt at a loss for what to do with my time (what event do I need a dress for? oh, none) and after planning the wedding has taken up so much time and energy (where’s the timeline and checklist for the first year of marriage?) I think it’s natural to feel some sort of blues after it’s all over. I don’t have a new ‘project’ or obsession, though I have spent loads of $$ on scrapbooking supplies, that sit prettily in their box waiting for my attention.
I am happy that instead of inserting another obsession that I felt the sadness and grieved that the wedding process was over. I think feeling that sadness and not pushing it away has led me into a new happiness that reminds me of when Darling Husband and I first got together. Ask me how I felt the first week of january and I probably would have bitten your head off and then cried about it on the way home. It’s been a real ‘hindsight is 20/20’ thing for me, and that’s the main reason I wanted to share – to put it out there that this sadness may come and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
My wedding was December 6, 2008 and Now, nearly at April 2009, I feel like a wife and no longer like a bride. At one point that made me sad (I’m not a bride anymore? but my tote bag says Bride!) but being a wife has infinite possibilities and I am now reveling in the new decisions hubby and I are making over where to spend our life and when to welcome children into it.
I know when I was feeling particularly down, I couldn’t find any threads on these boards that I even related to – so here’s one, just to be there for another sad newlywed looking to find out what’s wrong.
Post # 3
Thanks for sharing this! I know I’m likely to go through the same feelings and am mentally preparing myself for the feeling. (Though I don’t know how you can ever fully prepare for it!)
Post # 4
I definitely felt this way! My wedding was November 1 and I feel like I’m getting back to normal over the past few weeks/months. Having something consume your life suddenly disappear on you will send anyone for a spin. It takes time to get used to it and over it. I am seeing my obsession with weddingbee getting less frenetic now that I’m already married. I still love it, but not with the same fervency as when I was engaged and newly married. It’s totally normal to take time to adjust and to experience some difficulty adjusting.
To everyone, if you are worrying that this will happen to you, consider how you’ve reacted to big transitions from 60 to 0 in the past. Like when you graduated college and suddenly were unemployed and bored at home while you looked for a job, how did you feel? That will probably give you an indication of how you will feel after the wedding. You will still be excited about the new phase of your life, but a period of transition and adjustment is normal.
Post # 5
I started teaching the summer right after graduating college so I was able to transition without a break (has it’s advantages and disadvantages), but after wedding planning I definitely need to find another wedding to start planning. To satisfy my craving for pretty wedding things and inspiration, I make my daily visits to wedding blogs. 🙂
Post # 6
i miss the creative planning. but what i have the most blues over, is still being apart from my new husband. wasn’t expecting it to take soooo long to find a job in our new town, so i’m still in our old town, unsaleable condo, keeping my job so i keep up the mortgage payments, but hubby is in our new hometown setting roots down. (sigh)
Post # 7
My fiance and I are going to be in the same boat. She lives in Brooklyn, me in Ohio, and I’m not having *any* luck finding a job. I had one second interview where half way through they told me to go home because HR suddenly said they couldn’t hire anyone. I’m trying to spin off my 2nd job – I contract out programming services – as a full time career, but wow, no one is hiring.
Anyway, I know after we’re married either I’m going to still be in Ohio or unemployed in Brooklyn. It’s going to be very, very rough and I’m really not looking forward to it.
Post # 8
I definitely had the blues. I got married last November, and I think I started to feel normal again in February. It took a while to get used to all of the excitement being over and just getting back to daily routine. I think there’s also an a moment of "Ok, this is it. Me and my husband." I love him so much and am SO happy he’s my partner in life, and all the drama is kind of over now. (And that’s good.) So if you’re feeling this way I fully agree with the other girls — it’s normal and you’ll get back to being yourself in a few weeks! And you’ll be married to your amazing man! 🙂
Post # 9
I’m starting a dual grad school 2 months after my wedding. I’m hoping THAT becomes my new hobby to keep the blues away. I think it’s just that wedding planning involves all this happiness. People are so happy for you, and you get to plan a big wonderful party, which most women love! I’m curious to see what women pick up after the wedding to busy themselves
Post # 10
beesknees and Kenny, my fiance and I feel your pain. We bought a house in DC in April 08 and he started law school in Ithaca NY just after we got engaged. He’s a 1L and let’s just say the job market isn’t booming up there versus DC. So… we’re getting married in October and we’ll spend our first year plus as a married couple living 6 hours apart. Thankfully, it’s only a school year and he can summer in DC and I can go visit. But, it’s hard. Good luck to both of you… stay strong. In the words of The Beatles… all you need is love.
Post # 11
Somebody just asked me about this today and to be honest I am kind of in the opposite boat! I haven’t had time to feel blue. We are living the same crazy lives that we did prior to the wedding and the wedding planning has given us both time to delve into hobbies which we prepped for prior to getting married (as we had to give them up for the wedding planning time).
I think we were both so excited that the wedding was over and that we could get back to our "normal" lives…It was great to have this "huge" burder off of our shoulders. I miss some of it but not to the point where I am blue over it…
Post # 12
Post weddding blues – does this including realising you’re wedding is over and that you will never have another day quite like it??? LOL!! Then count me in. Its only been about 2 wks since the big day, and well there have been a few tears. I havent stopped reliving it all though which is great, and I think I will do so during the many months to come…as there were so many people that were unable to make it (we had a destination wedding) and want to hear all the details.
The hardest part of the post wedding blues – was huby goiing back to work as we literally live opposite ends of the UK!!! LOL! So I won’t be seeing him any time soon!!! Reality bites!!! Plus I had to come back to work for an assessment, whichwasnt so bad, but Im going to have some plesurable moments week after next when I resign – knowing Im finally going to go and be with hubby!!!!
Off to see the IL’s later so will have to go through the wedding stuff later 😀
Post # 13
I know this will happen too. And I’m armed and ready. My girlfriends (most of which are already married) suggested planning dinner parties and get togethers. They said that not only give you the "planning buzz and what to wear buzz" but you having friends and family over for a special occasion cements your new bond.
Ah..my wise and very very married girlfriends..Love em!
Post # 14
I get what you mean, it’s like you go through planning withdrawals! I’ve been trying to put my energy towards helping to plan for other events. My grandma turns 70 this year, so we are trying to put a nice party together for her and I’m using my wedding planning skills for that.
Post # 15
missrachelk you got married on my birthday!!!
Post # 16
Blogging has cured my Newlywed Blues 🙂