Weddingbee boards

My last relationship fell apart for various reasons, but the IL issue was the straw that broke the camel's back...  I learned a lot from it.

My advice?   Let your DH deal with any issues that arise with them and do the same with issues with your family.  Come up with a united front before he talks to them about bigger issues.   Figure out the boundaries, and go with them, make sure he stays strong.   Also, realize that they may say/do things that could really bug you or even hurt you without really meaning it.   Don't fight every battle, but also don't put your marriage second. 

I'm glad it could help, I wished I had someone give me advice back then.   The ex is also the father of my child and I still have a very strained relationship (none, really) with his parents.

With drama, I would make sure you stay aware of the fact that drama is drama and will often blow over if people don't react to it.  If you do react, let it be a delayed reaction so it is more of a genuine response and not something you will say or do that you will regret.   If it's over the phone, cut the conversation short, let yourself vent or whatever, and then face them again after it.

I hate dramatic situations.  What really hurt us was that my ex didn't want to hurt his mother and would often put himself in the middle of situations, which made them seem 100% worse.  It then became a he said, she said, because he was relaying what the other one said back and forth instead of picking a stance that supported us and not having to hash out every word and thought his mother (or I) had about a situation.

Edit-  Also make sure he knows that he doesn't have to share every thought and feeling you have said to him with them.  Even if they ask.