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Our first "what about babies?" question came the day after we got engaged, and hasn't stopped since. I just say that we're enjoying married life as a couple first.
Yep, multiple times. I just reassure people that I just cannot have a child until I finish law school.
Just a couple times. I say "Before I'm 30." Since that's still 4 years off, they get the picture it won't be anytime soon. But they also get the message that, yes, it's in the long-term plan so they can stop worrying that we never will.
I'm not getting married until March but I've already been asked multiple times when we're going to have kids in the year and a half we've been engaged.
Oh my gosh yes! It annoys me to no end. I have all these snarky comments, but never seem to get the nerve up to use them. I want to say, "We don't talk about our sex life in public." Someone here on weddingbee had a good one, "Well we just had sex this morning, so it's too soon to tell." If someone asks when we will start a family, I want to say, "We already did, we got married," because FH and I are a family.
@guitargirl: Exactly! Since when is a married couple not a family?!
our wedding is in 11 months and we get this question all the time. people have actually had the gall to say to me, "you know, you'll be 30 before you know it." (i'm 27 now)
thanks, i hadn't realized!!
Yes.. one lady was quite rude tho.
Ill set the scene:
I was shopping along and I got stopped by one of the ladies of mum and dads church that they go too (over 700 members) and her face seemed familiar she said
Her: oh hey charis, how you going? I heard you were expecting??
me: expecting what?
her: a baby? I heard you were a couple of months along now..
Me: umm no actually... I recently got married but im not expecting..
her: oh.. i thought that was the reason you got married.
by this stage I wanted to ram my shopping trolley into her or at least reach out and slap her..
me regaining composure: Oh no, we had a 13 month engagement, no shot gun wedding here!!
had me ranting and raving tho when I got home.. boy was I furious.
For the record, hubs and I are not looking at starting a family.. at the moment it isnt even on the horizon and i cant see it being anytime in the next 6 or 7 years maybe if ever, so I think she will be waiting a long time!
I want to add sometimes I'm confused by why people ask me this right now because I got engaged at age 21 and I'm only 22 now. Everyone I know has kids or is pregnant though but I still don't think I'm old enough for everyone to be concerned with us not having kids right now. My FBIL who just had a kid in July actually told me I'll be a really old mother at 25-27...
Mostly the lady who does my nails....nobody else. But every 3 weeks when i get my nails done, she asks if I'm pregnant...kinda cracks me up :)
One of my very good friends asked me ... during my wedding reception! All I could think was: Let's just get through THIS first!
We aren't married yet but we are already getting the question constantly. It really hasn't bothered me yet because we plan to get married and just see what happens. I can see what you mean though, it's no one's business that we are gonna start banging the day after the wedding to start having kids. That's creepy to me! I usually just respond with something like whatever happens happens and we will go from there.
I used to get it a lot, but not as much any more, just a little here and there. Today my employer's sister-in-law told me I need to have a baby because she need someone to give her baby stuff away to lol Any apparently one of my aunts thinks I'm pregnant because she had a dream about it or something (but I'm definitely not).
We had people asking on our wedding day! Thankfully, my dad isn't dropping hints but I can tell my stepmom wants a step baby!
Plus I've had people at work and school asking me a lot recently.
Yep! My husband and I are expecting now but before we were and while we were engaged we got asked fairly often.
On our honeymoon some guy asked my DH if he had "knocked me up yet". It was pretty funny but still. Before the wedding people were asking my MIL if we were planning on having kids right after the wedding. For some reason people think it's acceptable to ask all kinds of intrusive questions and so many people think that just because we're married I'll be popping out babies in 9 months.
Actually one of my new lab assistants just asked me if I was planning to have any children with my new husband. Pretty funny since I am 51 years old!
A couple have asked but not too many, probably because we got married at 20 and 21. Some people have given us much unsolicited advice about how long we should wait (ranging from have them immediately to wait about ten years) and I find it to be intrusive and annoying. Whenever we do decide to start it will be US raising the child, paying for everything, etc.. I don't understand why everyone thinks that they have any say, but of course I just smile and remain polite! I try to think that everyone has good intentions in their asking.
the Wednesday before we got married, I drove my MIL and her sisters out to Vermont for a sightseeing of New England Day. 4 hours, driving rain in my SUV - and my MIL had mentioned the phrase "when you have kids" 8 times by my count, before lunch. heehee
since then, I have received one baby product magazine that I did not sign up for in the mail. No one mentions anything to us too much directly, as they know that route won't pay off.
Last night my dad asked me if I was pregnant. I didn't know how to react? Do I look pregnant? Ok so since the wedding I have been less careful with my diet but really! I guess it's wishful thinking on his part.
Yeah, I get this one all....of....the....time....Surprisingly, it doesn't annoy me "too" bad, although I still get slightly irritated. Most of the time, it's just all in good fun and people are just trying to get a rise out of me...like all of my co-workers...I found out there is an office bet going on until how long it takes until I get pregnant. My co-workers and I are close enough that I just laugh at this though. The only time it does irritate me is when people who I would never discuss such personal matters with ask me, and then actually expect me to be serious when I answer them. Seriously? If I'm not close with you, and have never been close with you, then why would I choose to talk about one of the most important decisions of my life with you? Yeah, not gonna happen. lol
Yes we even got it from our housekeeper on our honeymoon!!!
Luckily two of my SILs are both pregnant so at least my ILs are occupied with that. As soon as those babies are no longer newborns though they are going to be HOUNDING us. Most annoying thing EVER.
Ach I hate that people think it's their business! First the harassment about getting engaged, then harassment about having babies! The best advice I was given was to say, "I'm not sure we can..." or "We've been trying..." People tend to leave you alone after that ;)
We have been pretty lucky that not many have brought it up to us. Some people have joked that "it won't be long" or "thats the next step" but no pressure or direct questions.
People ask me all the time when we're going to have kids. I'm 21 years old and we're not even engaged yet. Slow down people!!
My mom has been talking about babies since about 6 mos before the wedding. His mom wrote "Bring on the grandkids!" on our guestcards. Crazy ladies!
It doesn't bother us much though because I'm 28 and he's 38 so we'd like to start trying to have a family relatively soon, knowing that it can take some time. We're financially secure and well employed so we're ready.
All the time since our wedding last October. It doesn't help that we are both 37.
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Because I have! At first it was asking how we were enjoying being newlyweds, but now after about 5 months the questions are turning to, "...SO have you guys discussed when you might want to start a family?" Really people? Really? Why does anyone think that this is their business? The annoying thing is that it really isn't a simple response. YES we have discussed it and both of us really want to start ASAP, but we want to work on saving up some more money and I have a year left until I'm done with my teacher certification so we'll probably end up waiting a year or two. But I don't see how people don't realize that if I REALLY wanted to answer their question I would then have to get into a discussion about financials and blah blah blah that really doesn't concern them. Plus it is obnoxious because I already have baby fever but I don't want people to really know that so I'm not going to respond as intensely as I'm thinking about it in my head. Ugh. Even my dad is throwing out the "What in the world are you waiting for - I want to be a pappaw!"