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Newlyweds - Ok to spend your first christmas alone?

posted 1 year ago in Newlyweds
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    1.
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    Newbee
    Autumnfalls1889    July 9, 2011   Puyallup, WA

    So here's the story. My FI and i have been together for 4 and 1/2 years. Both of our families have a lot of drama, and every year we end up having to schedule our Christmas around 4-5 other Christmas's. It is so hectic and exhausting! We are getting married in July 2011. So for next year, I'm kind of wanting to just say "screw it" and take off to a cabin in the mountains or something, and just focus on us. Are there any newlyweds who took off for their first Christmas as a married couple? Were any family members offended that you did this? We have already experienced quite a few family members who "had their noses clipped" because they didn't get to have us over at the exact time of day they wanted us over. Just curious!

     
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    Bumble bee
    CaraMia10    October 10, 2010   Loma Linda, CA

    No matter what you do, someone will always be upset. You can't please everyone all of the time. I don't think there's anything wrong w/ going off on your own and starting your own traditions. I say go for it!

     
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    Bumble bee
    lemondrop    March 13, 2010   Arizona

    You can only make yourselves happy, everyone else will have some issue or another with whatever you decide.

    We had Christmas alone this year and loved it!  We spent Thanksgiving with my family (and met up again the week before Christmas for shopping), usually we would spend Christmas with my husband's family and alternate years, but due to new nephews born this year we are all meeting up in February instead and we are all happy with the decision. 

     
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    Honey bee
    Treasure43    September 18, 2010  

    We alternate Christmases since my family is so far away. Honestly, I think it would be fun to go away for Christmas just the two of us! I say go for it! This year we did our own thing Christmas Eve and Christmas morning and then saw his family on Christmas day.

     
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    Newbee
    cosmo1      

    I agree and say go for it! There's nothing wrong with spending xmas just you and your hubby - you can't please everyone! So if that's what you two want, then do it. I wouldn't suggest doing it every year, but I think once in awhile is definitely needed! Besides, there are PLENTY of other holidays to share with family!

     
    6.
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    Busy bee
    lamb      

    We stayed put and didn't travel for Thanksgiving this year.  I think it's important to spend time alone together on the holidays so that you can start your own family traditions.  You're right, being with family can be stressful, and there's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy a holiday together.  Family might be upset, but you're two grown adults and need to make decisions that are good for your new family.  I personally think it's a good boundary to set so that expectations don't get out of control.  Whatever you decide, have fun!

     
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    Helper bee
    kate6214    July 17, 2010   Maryland

    I agree with those above me. Do what you BOTH want to do and make that decision now together. That way when the holidays come up you are both prepared with answers for all of your relatives involved.

    Just know that you can't please everyone especially if you both have family in the area. There are only so many places you can make it to at the holidays. I know it was hard for my mom the first year I wasn't there on Christmas, but now we are starting new traditions. If you think the run around to different houses is bad now, think about when you have kids. Traveling all around with them in tow....No thank you. One place at a time for me.

    Set the boudaries now. Talk with your FI about what would work best for the both of you. make sure you are both happy with whatever decision you make.

     

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