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While I was somewhat frustrated that they required we took this class, I was glad that I did take away new knowlege from it about how to know your body better. Was there any part of the class you liked? Or was there anything you at least learned from it?
I can imagine that was pretty hurtful, especially when they said you would be putting a wall between you. I'm sure you can't be the only person to ever have this experience. Maybe it would help for you to talk to the church leader about it and explain that what they're saying is hurtful to people with this disability. Maybe they just never thought about it that way before. Hopefully they would at least apologize.
I'm so sorry! In my diocese, it's not required. So you know, your health is always more important, and what you and your doctor require should and always be okay with the Catholic Church. Ignore any hurtful advice like that.
it wasn't required in my diocese but im looking into whether or not they require it in the diocese we're getting married in. they did an NFP overview at our engaged encounter weekend and it sort of grossed us out! im sorry but fi and i were both pretty immature about it since we weren't expecting it! haha ...
but yeah it does suck that the course made you feel that way. im sorry you had to go through it. i dont agree with the church REQUIRING you to go - if its not required everywhere, why do they require it in some places? the brief overview at our ee was good enough ... very informative and at least opens the door for couples who are interested to look more into the process. i think in that way, the church is at least allowing you to become aware of alternative methods without shoving it down your throat.
at least for you its out of the way. what you choose to do or not do is between you and your fi. hope it doesnt bother you any more than it needs to!
best wishes!
i think sometimes you have to just remember that there are many things about the church that are antiquated or out of date with many common practices these days that don't always make sense to everyone all of the time.
my personal opinion, whether or not it is sanctioned by the church, is that as long as im a good person and always try to do the right thing in the rest of my life, god's got bigger problems than worrying about whether or not im on the pill or if i missed mass last week bc i had to work
What you're describing is a promotional class, not an actual class that teaches you how to practice NFP. My priest is actually requiring people to take the actual class and I think its very appropriate that the Church does present NFP. And the thing is there is no reason to not be able to use NFP. I don't know what sort of pain your talking about. Endometrosis perhaps? I may have that, but doctors actually can't diagnosis it officially without doing a biopsy. My sister also has a lot of pain which her doctor also suspects is endometrosis as well. They did an ultrasound to look for cysts and they they weren't able to find any so now they think its endometrosis.
Still the thing is both my sister and I refused to go on the birth control pill and we're both learning NFP. I actually sought an NFP only physician to advise me on treatment other than birth control. Primarily it has been for the pain. Magnesium is supposed to help, though I didn't find that to be much help. For me, the big thing is removing caffine from my diet. I then keep bayer pain patches on hand in case the pain does still show up which I prefer over midol because midol makes me feel loopy.
The thing is that there are alternatives. Sad to say, but most doctors just overprescribe the birth control pill for everything. Heck, I even had a roommate who had cramping issues and requested to go on a perscription pain reliever. Her doctor perscribed her on a generic form of an over the counter drug at a lower dosage than you can get over the counter to convince her that she had no other route to go. Another roommate of my experienced one ovarian cyst and was immediately put on the birth control pill. The pill made her terribly ill, and against her mom's councel she took herself off of it and never got another cyst. Point? Go to omsoul.org and see if there are any NFP only physicians to give you a second opinion. Someone who specializes in the Creighton Fertility Care System and in Napro Technology tends to be the best as they studied under Dr. Hilgers whose been developing these alternative treatments since the 80's to help Catholic women get the care they need without having to embrace the contraceptive culture.
I think one thing to remember, is that the church IS trying to look out in your best interests. They do accept that there may be reasons for a woman medically to be on the pill, however, they do then say that you should be abstaining from sex while using chemical methods as it's not truly fulfilling the primary ends of it... and a lot of BC methods ARE abortificant. Many say they aren't, but almost all are in that many times your uterine wall is too thin for the already created life to implant and have a chance to live.
This is why many do require the course. I don't believe it's a parish decision though, I think that decision is actually at the Diocese.
That being said, for a couple where there are no medical reasons to be on it, it IS fabulous information and information any woman should know. The things I learned would have helped back in like the 5th grade... would have made my life much easier! I personally can't see why so many women desperately cling to the pill when there is actually a MORE reliable - fail proof method which is free, doesn't screw with your body, and doesn't harm the environment or feed the pockets of pharmaceutical companies. There's so many positives to using a FAM as apposed to BC... and especially compared to the side effects of BC, there's none....
Most women using a FAM actually discover health problems much sooner than those on BC.
Yeah I think that the program definitely makes sense for those who are capable of doing it. I was just saying for people in my situation where it is extreme - not just simply bad cramps but people who have a diagnosed disease and have very severe side effects when not treated (trust me, my doctors aren't just telling me there is no alternative - consulting a NFP only doctor would not be to my benefit). So I don't oppose the practice of NFP at all, I was just wondering if anyone else out there related to my situation because it is definitely not the norm so there's not many people to turn to.
I'm sorry you had a bad experience during the class. I think it's really important to remember that the church does approve bc use for medical conditions. If you've explored all the options with your doctor, and bc is the only option that will work to control your pain, it's absolutely ok to use it! Most people can use NFP even if they have medical conditions because a lot of gynecological problems can be controlled/regulated through means other than bc. But there are definitely exceptions to every rule! Your health absolutely comes first.
Let me preface this by saying I am Catholic and attended 13 years of catholic schooling BUT
Call me brain dead right now (running on 8 hrs of sleep since Friday....) What is NFP?!?!?
@Mrs.Spring Hahahah Thanks!!! I knew as soon as someone mentioned it I would figure it out!!! All these abbrevations floating in my head (especially work ones...) makes my brain a little foggy sometimes. :o)
I know that it felt like what the presenters was teaching was hurtful to your situation, but perhaps you can distance yourself from that hurt and pray on the information that you heard. If you heart feels called to try NFP I would suggest consulting a dr who actually knows what NFP is (and isn't). I know that non- NFP educated drs are very quick to say you have to be on the pill, its your only option. I hope you can look past the hurt you felt to evaluate this option and the valuable information that was shared with you. Peace of Christ and Bee HUGS!
This is frustrating to me as well. We start pre-cana next weekend and this is the portion that I am NOT looking forward to. I made the decision to go on BC when I was 17 years old. And throughout mine and FIs relationship, we've always been in agreement about me being on it.
I have nothing against people using NFP and I think it's a great method for some couples. However, to say that medication builds a wall between you and your husband is ridiculous.
errrrm you can be diagnosed with endometriosis without a biopsy. A biopsy just shows if it's cancerous and what type of tissue problem it is. However, endo can present in many many ways and can lead to infertility if left untreated. So if that's what you have, take solace in that you are protecting your fertility! So you and your Fi can have a family someday =]. A large number of women who have trouble getting pregnant have endo. It's a pretty crappy thing to deal with.
Know you're doing the right thing by taking care of whatever health problem you have so that you and your FI can have children in the future.
Even if the church does approve of using BC for medical reasons, being told that using condoms and/or BC when you're actually on it (and Catholic) I'm sure is still frustrating. Even if you're on it for 'approved' reasons. But I'm guessing the class was more forceful, less discussion about why NFP is important to the church and the exceptions regarding those on medication. It sucks, just try to remember that class wasn't geared towards you necessarily, but towards the general catholic population taking the class
laparoscopy is different from a biopsy and you can also have special ultrasounds done to see it depending on what kind of growth you have going on. If any.
both are no fun!
bloodgo1, don't be afraid to approach your priest about your concerns. He might be able to ease some of your issues. Or give you a new perspective, that you weren't aware of. I'm sure the purpose of the program wasn't to make you feel bad. Maybe you'll get an answer that relieves you, maybe not. But at the very least bringing up your concerns with the class might give your church a launching point on how to address these problems for future clases.
I kind of wished I was required to take an NFP class when I got married. I wouldn't have been starting the whole NFP process, after three kids. That's scary.
Good luck.
I should preface by saying that I'm not Catholic but FI is.
We just had our Pre-Cana this past Saturday and they did include NFP. I have to say, I enjoyed it. I thought it was pretty interesting. The man and woman that ran it were practicing clinicians and talked about the Creighton Method which is all about The Mucus. They said The Mucus at least 57 times. They were Catholic and started talking about the dangers of the BC pill, and to a certain extent I wondered where they got their info. They stumbled a bit when asked about the side effects/dangers/etc of it. There were also some statistics that they put in their workbook that I'm *pretty* sure they pulled out of their you-know-whats.
Anyhoo, when we first started I had questions about BC and the Catholic church, since it was something that I'd always been curious about. How do they really view x and y, etc. and what our marriage coordinator told us is that the position of contraception is not part of Canon law. It was more a strong recommendation made by the Pope, so it's more between you and your conscience.
But again, I'm not Catholic so I could be wrong!
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So I know that Catholic churches always promote the NFP method as an alternative to contraception. I was kind of disappointed though when my fiance and I were required to attend a NFP class for the church before we get married. I wouldn't be opposed to this method, but due to health issues I cannot go that course. Does anyone else out there have that problem as well??
The seminar was very frustrating to be in especially because the speakers would talk about how using contraception keeps a wall between you and your husband and all of that. The frustrating part was just because it was a difficult thing to sit through when I couldn't even choose that method if I wanted to.
I also thought it was inappropriate that they played a video by a health professional stating that this method works for people with health issues (one of the things he listed off was what I have). I suppose it could work to help conceive, but only if you wanted to be in a ton of pain in the process.
Anyway, I just don't think it is right that it is REQUIRED by the church for you to attend such a session even if you have health problems. For us, it ended up being like rubbing salt in a wound.