Post # 1
If you had a friend who you weren’t THAT close to (you see them a few times a year, you have some mutual friends, and you get together for coffee when you can), and you were invited to their wedding, bridal shower, and bachelorette party, would you a) consider it a nice gesture and be stoked to attend or b) think that it sounded gift grabby or weird, and be hesitant to attend?
Post # 3
I think it’s nice. I don’t ever think it’s rude to invite someone. And if they think it’s weird, they are more than welcome to decline the invitation!
Post # 4
I think in situations like these when you have a bunch of mututal friends with a person people feel kind of obligated to invite them… like they DON’T want to be rude by not inviting them.
Post # 5
I might feel weird to be invited to a shower or bachelorette party if I’m not close to the bride, but I would never think it’s rude to be invited to someone’s wedding. I may or may not go, depending on my relationship to the person, but I don’t think it’s ever rude to extend an invite if you’d be happy to have someone there!
Post # 6
The answer is different for the different events.
The invitation to the wedding: a lovely gesture.
The invitation to the bachelorette party: … odd. (I’m really not much of a party girl) but a kind “reaching out to include me” type gesture. Perhaps the bride doesn’t have that many gal pals??
The invitation to any “Shower”: slightly inappropriate, and I’d probably decline this if we’re just acquaintances. Showers are supposed to be intimate, and for the nearest & dearest of the guest of honor. The guest list should include only those that the hostess knows WANT to shower the bride-to-be with gifts. (As the whole purpose of the shower is gift giving.) Caveat: if the bride had nothing to do with the planning or the guest list (as is traditional etiquette!) I might attend, as long as I was fond of the bride and financially able. I wouldn’t want to embarrass the hostess or the bride, so as long as I felt my attendence would be welcomed and not awkward I would consider attending.
Post # 7
I’d definitely think it was nice!
Post # 8
@UmbrellaMoon: Cosigned, me. I know some brides include their entire female guest list at the shower, but that is not necessary. I say invite these people to your wedding, but not to the pre-wedding parties.
Post # 10
i tend to think the best of people, so i wouldnt ever assume that i was invited to a shower etc to give gifts, and as such would be honored to receive any invitation that was extended!
this goes extra if you have lots of common friends who will be at the events, even if you arent at trading friendship necklaces level with the potential invitee! they woulddnt feel out of place at all in that situation!
Post # 11
Since I dont see many of my friends, I am inviting anyone that I saw (in good standing) over the last year. So really, I’d think it was a very nice gesture.
Post # 12
This is the problem I’m having right now. A friend is throwing me a shower (but I asked for no gifts, so it’s more of a luncheon type thing) and she wants me to send her a guest list. I can’t quite figure out where to draw the line. I am friendly with some of my FI’s friends wives and Girlfriend, but we really only see each other when we all get together. However, I was invited to (and attended) some of their showers/bachelorette/weddings. Now I’m trying to figure out if I should invite them to mine (even if I wasn’t invited to the shower, etc.) or if they will just think it’s weird. Especially since many of them live several hours away.
Basically, would it just be nice to invite them to the party and understand (and expect) that many will say no? Bah.
Post # 13
@Taylor4: If you call it a bridal brunch (or luncheon, or tea) instead of a shower then feel free to have your hostess extend invitations to these ladies. If you’re calling it a “shower” then I’d stick to your close family and your besties… those are the girls who love you enough that they would want to give you gifts. And if you call it a shower, even if you specifiy “no gifts” – it’s a gift giving party.