Post # 1
I know there have been numerous discussions of this–but–I’m guessing there is no way to nicely say you would rather have money as a gift than random stuff, right?
I would appreciate anything people could give, but what I don’t want is a ton of linens, cloths, obscure kitchen items, bedding, etc. Most of the items we need we have. I plan to register at Target for some of the things we would like, but don’t have many items to put on the list. How do we get the word out that we would love funds toward a house we hope to purchase in the next year? I am told there is no way to do this.
Would it be strange to have the people who are hosting the bridal shower say something like this in the envelope with the info on the shower:
The couple is registered at Target and also saving up for their first home.
Is that obnoxious? I can see either side.
Post # 3
Yes! It’s rude to ask for anything I’m afraid. If people decide to purchase a gift the it’s a bonus if you ask me.
Post # 4
Setting up a registry is asking for things, so I don’t see the difference between “I’m registered at Target” and “We’re saving for a house”. But clearly, I’m the only one who thinks that way. Shower hosts put registry info on shower invites. I will never understand the difference between registering for anything, from $300 sheet sets to a $5 can opener, and the hosts stating you are saving for a house and letting them decide what to give you.
We spread the word with our family that we were saving for a car. When people asked us where we were registered, we said “Bed, Bath & Beyond, but we’re also saving for a car”. But what do I know? That’s just me.
Post # 5
I think the only thing you can do is have a small registry so people understand there aren’t many things you need and if people ask you, your mom or your bms you can politely say “we’re/they’re registred at x and saving up for their first house” and spread the info through word of mouth.
Post # 6
Weeeeellll…. There isn’t really a nice way to ask for cash. If you don’t register though, people may just get the hint.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
You tell your parents to let anyone know who inquires that you would prefer cash and you decline all showers.
ETA: It is common knowledge that couples want cash. We had full registries and we got mostly cash.
Post # 8
I’d definitely just bite the bullet and register for your shower. They tend to get really awkward if you’re just opening envelopes with money in them. Either that, or people will buy you 15 crock pots :). If you weren’t having a shower, I would say that you should just avoid registering and try to spread it by word of mouth.
Post # 9
i think it’s best spread by word of mouth. Is bringing cash instead of a gift the norm in your area? Here in Aus almost everyone brings a card with cash but to the reception, not a shower. I would just set up a gift table and wishing well (for cards with $) at the reception and let people bring what they want. If they ask you or your family what they should bring as gifts just say “we’ve decided to do a wishing well to put towards our savings but there is also a gift table for those who would like to purchase something specific”
I don’t have any advice on the shower unfortunately. I don’t really get why bride&groom get gift ceremonies twice in the US? I think receiving $ at the wedding is plenty
Post # 10
I am in the same boat, we would rather have cold hard cash for a house or honeymoon. The suggestions that I got from other bees on here was that we should not have a large registry so people get the “hint” and to spread it by word of mouth. Hope that helps!
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
PS, you can have a themed shower instead of a traditonal one, but non-cash gifts are still what you should expect at a shower. Showers are precisely for physical gifts. So have a gourmet food shower or a spa shower or a lingerie shower or a shower themed on something you and Darling Husband like to do… maybe camping or baord games or what-have-you.
Post # 12
I don’t think there is a nice way to tell people that you want cash. Prepare to return to get the money you want would be my only advice.
Post # 13
I would suggest word of mouth, let everyone that you feel comfortable talking with about the situation that you prefer cash towards your new home purchase. I’m not registering at all. I feel like if they get us something or give us cash it’s a bonus, but other than that we are not expecting much of anything .
Post # 14
We’re trying to get money as well. Our plan is to not list a registry and have our parents discreetly mention we’re trying to save up for our first home to our relatives.
Post # 15
Use your wedding party and families to spread the word. I wouldn’t state it outright in writing though.
If you are saving for a new home, you will probably need furniture to fill that home. Consider registering at places that also sell furniture.
Post # 16
We have been struggling with this same issue. We own a home and have mostly everything we meed already. I have done the research andost etiquette books say it is rude not to have a registry. Some people like buying gifts…. With that being said, we decided to go with a small regular store registry as well as the “honeyfund” online registry. If you haven’t heard about this LOOK IT UP! It gives you the option to list what you would spend cash on (honeymoon, home repairs, ect.) Your guests can transfer money to you and select what they want you to use it on. We are doing this for our honeymoon, I will incorporate the gift into that thank you card. For example…. One item is a snorkle trip (2 @ $49) we will then send a photo of us doing that with the thank you card to the guest who provided the trip. Make sense?
This may be better for the yonger or more tech-savvy guests, but any help with our honeymoon will be appreciated! There is an option to just print off an item from the list and give cash in a card at the wedding as well… For those uncomfortable with the online transaction.