Weddingbee boards

I never would have believed how bothered I'd be by this (yes, even while reading about how annoying it was to everyone else, I figured I wouldn't care), but it's driving me nuts that my MIL rubs my belly when she sees me.

So. Not. Cool.

She did it once about a month ago and I was annoyed because I honestly thought I was hiding the bulge. Then I spent yesterday morning dreading lunch with my in-laws because I just KNEW it would come up again, but it still caught me off guard when she said hi and then "Oh, a belly!" and rubbed it.  Somehow I think I could handle a quick pat or tap better than rubbing.

So I changed the subject awkwardly but was uncomfortable talking about anything pregnancy-related from then on. Somehow this whole "let's talk about Marisa's body because she's pregnant and it's totally okay now" is more awkward than I ever believed.

So. Any good phrasing I can use that means, "Hands off!" but is a little more elegant?  I"m down to, "Oh, don't do that!" with a little upward lilt to my voice like you'd say to a cute little kid you barely know who was about to stick his hand someplace bad/ dangerous. Know what I mean?

I know, I know, I should have expected this, but here I am, annoyed to be touched!

If I were in your situation, I would have my FI speak to his mother on my behalf.  He could just let her know that you feel uncomfortable when people grab your stomach and ask her if she could refrain.  

I always have my FI speak to the in-laws when something is bothering me because it comes off better when your own son/daughter is telling you something rather than your son-in-law or daugher-in-law.  Plus it lets your MIL know that you and your hubby are a team, and that HE is not comfortable when you are not comfortable.

Ugh- I haven't found a good way to combat this either. Sometimes MIL will ask how the baby is before she goes to touch me and I say something like "she's doing well, seems be sleeping right now- its nice to have a break from all of her movement" That usually keeps her off me because there's nothing to feel if the baby is still. If that doesn't work you could always say that and then when she goes to touch you say something like "please don't wake the sleeping baby"

I also agree that it sounds easier to ask your DH to talk to her- maybe have him tell her right before a get-together that you've been having a lot of problems with nausea, and so would feel better if no one tried the belly rub, just in case it makes you feel sicker?

I don't know what your relationship with your MIL is like, but if I were in this situation, I think I would just be straightforward and say, "I'm not very comfortable with people touching my belly, and I would appreciate it if you would not do that."  I don't think you need to be cute about it -- if she's making you uncomfortable, she needs to know it.

But as others have said, having your husband speak to her is a good option if you would prefer not to talk to her about it yourself.

That's like asking my SIL, how's your vagina been feeling lately?

If I could pull this off, I would ask MIL how her jayjay is.  Turn it around, make her uncomfortable.

I agree with camrie -- I think a great tactic is to say:  "Pregnancy has it's neat parts, but one thing I hate is when people touch my belly without permission!  And some people even make comments about my body to me!  It makes me really uncomfortable."  It doesn't have to be a confrontation wtih her explicitly, but hopefully she'll get the point.  Good luck!