(Closed) Niece Calls Me Mommy..

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

amiona:  There is a possibility that you are getting something out of this or you would have worked harder to stop this two years ago.

Post # 3
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’d keep gently correcting, and explain that not everyone who takes care of her is “Mommy”, just that one special person. As a nanny, I’ve seen stuff like this happen, and you need to reinforce that while you will always be there for the child, that special role of “parent” is already taken.

Post # 4
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My ex bf’s daughter asked if she could call me Mom when she was 4 years old. It broke my heart but I had to tell her that she already has a Mommy and she could call me by my name or maybe we could come up with another nickname but that Mommy is just for her mom. She got it and didn’t ask again. Ex and I broke up not too much longer after that so I’m not sure how things would’ve progressed had we stayed together, but I do believe that you really have to get her to stop doing that. Come up with a different special nickname or something that she can call you, but nothing even remotely close to mom, mommy, etc.

Post # 6
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

amiona:  Wouldn’t it be more mature to simply stay away from Bees that you don’t like?

 

Not really. Maturity is being able to have a discussion even when you have different opinions.

Post # 8
Member
3558 posts
Sugar bee

amiona:  As a mother, this would bother me.  Seriously bother me.  His ex may be vindictive, and may be abusive, but she will always be her biological mother.  And yes she may not be mother of the year, but that child has a mother, and you are not her.  

Correct your niece constantly, don’t compromise on this, you’re not her mom, and she shouldn’t be calling you that.  I loved sleeping over at my aunt’s place, but I never called her mommy or aunt mommy, and my aunt was a heck of a lot more fun than my mom.  Aunts are supposed to be more fun than moms, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for her to call you mom.

She’s old enough to understand you are not her mother.

Post # 11
Member
8707 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Should have put a direct stop to this when it first began. Two years have passed and she thinks its okay to do this. I was a live-in Nanny to a wonderful little girl. Her mother virtually abandoned her and put her in my care. One day, I was sitting on the couch reading. She comes up and lies on the couch, rests her head in my lap and goes, “Hyper, can I call you mom?” It definitely struck me as odd. When I asked her why, she told me that I acted a lot more like a mom than her own mother did (Of which the saddening part was that it was entirely true.) I told her I was very uncomfortable with that and I didn’t think her actual mother would like it. Instead, I suggested we come up with a very special name for me. She liked that just fine. She was five years old at the time, and she never called me “mom” again.

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Post # 13
Member
3558 posts
Sugar bee

amiona:  And this has been going on for two years?  I mis read the post, This should have definitely been stopped when she was four.  I understand she’s young, but it’s not appropriate especially after two years.

Post # 15
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

amiona:  I’m with Hyperventilate on this one. I was thinking that maybe her mother seems lacking to her in some way (not caring, not supportive, etc) so she is looking for a substitute. I would talk to your brother and voice your concerns about her calling you “Mommy” and that you are worried that her own mother might not be as attentive as she should. 

Granted, it could be fairly innocent, but this worries me.

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