Niece is upset and hurt over being excluded….

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Hostess
9908 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Nona99:  The poor thing!  I’m sure it was an oversight.  Is this girl, by chance, the youngest?  I’m just wondering HOW such an oversight could happen when everyone else is in the wedding. 

Post # 4
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

I’d gently ask the bride and groom about it, to try to get to the bottom of what’s really going on.

Post # 7
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Aww, poor little Lamb 🙁  Sometimes all you can do is offer a shoulder to cry on.  How old is she?

Post # 8
Hostess
9908 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Nona99:  that’s really really too bad.  Children should never be involved in spats like this.  I’m very careful that my half-brother doesn’t get treated as less of a family member by anyone.  It’s not the child’s fault that they’re stuck in the middle of an impossible situation.

Post # 9
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

If you all are as close as it sounds to this person I would simply ask about it.

Post # 12
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@Nona99:  if that is true and it’s over an adult, that would be more of a reason for me to open my mouth. It’s pretty crappy that a grown woman would exclude a child to spite the child’s parent. that really grinds my gears. I don’t think that you can really change someone’s mind but I wouldn’t feel right at all not saying anything about it. I would still be asking if this was in fact the reason, and if it turned out that yes, that was the reason, someone would be hearing my mouth. Pain in the ass mom or not, thats terrible that this girl is being left out for that reason. Honestly I would have a problem with this person in general if that is how they functioned. But that’s just me. I really can’t stand that kind of pettiness and it bothers me more than I can explain to see adults letting their own drama filter down to any kids who may be bystanders of a bad situation.

ETA: I probably would still say something and end it with “how would you feel if someone did this to your child?” I understand though that it would most likely be a waste of energy. So I get it. It would just really aggravate me and I have like zero tolerance for people who do dumb stuff like this. I also have a hard time keeping my mouth shut Embarassed 

 

Post # 13
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Nona99:  You’re too sweet 🙂  I was going to suggest that since you aren’t attending the wedding you could take her and do something special with just her… then I saw you have a prior engagement.  I think you’re fabulous!

Post # 14
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

I guess if you don’t wish to raise the topic with the b&g, the only thing there really could be to do would be to maybe spend some quality fun time with the little girl, maybe a few days before the wedding. There doesn’t have to be a stated reason other than, “Hey, here’s a fun idea!” Maybe take her to a costume shop to try things on together and get in the Halloween spirit. And then ice cream, because ice cream. Then she’s getting to have a fun dress-up experience too, and extra attention, and since there’s no sort of gossiping or anything going on about that this is being done because she wasn’t in the bridal party and how unfair etc., no additonal drama should result from it. 

Post # 15
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

@Nona99:  Wow, a custom ballgown sounds like a very generous gift and I’m sure she’ll love it. If you hope for her to wear it to the wedding though, you could be fueling the drama, and putting her more in the middle of it all. It would be win-win for her to wear it somewhere else, though. I bet she’d love to go somewhere with you where she could wear that gown and feel special.

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