- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
So I have never posted before but this is driving me crazy and I feel like if I dont vent I might just explode. It involves FI family and because I wish to avoid drama and spare FI feelings I dont want to involve him. That being said here we go:
This last weekend a very sweet aunt of mine threw me a wonderful bridal shower. Because a few family members have special dietary needs she generously offered to throw it at a restaurant that caters to special diets so no one would be left out. She also generously footed the bill. The whole day was so amazing with one glaring exception: FI two sisters.
A little background: FI two sisters are from a previous marriage. They are around 20 years older than FI are married and have a bunch of grown kids of their own (college age or about to be) In the four years FI and I have been together I have never met his half sisters. They invited FI via written invite to one event but since my name wasnt included on the invite (this was three years in and after we were living together) I didnt feel comfortable going. They were never in FI life much growing up either apparently. He claims they only came to two of his birthdays and that he has only ever gotten a few gifts/ cards for any holiday ever.
I wasnt sure that I wanted to invite them to the shower (pressure of meeting them for the first time was scaring me) but other people convinced me it was the right thing to do. So I did and they came. Here is how it went:
Two weeks before the shower I get a random email from one of the sisters. We are excited to FINALLY meet you. Where are you registered? I wrote back saying how excited I was to meet them, how happy I was that they could come and directing them to our registries (one online and one national store chain)
When the day came I arrived on time to the restaurant. FI two sisters were close behind. I happily greeted them introduced myself and said how glad I was that they came. The one sister replied that they couldnt believe they were there, that their brother had never struck them as the “marrying type, but whatever” She then went on to berate me about having spelled her name wrong on the save the date. I was shocked by the rather large chip on her shoulder but held my own and continued to be polite and cheery. I went on to introduce them to all of my friends and relatives and when I got around to my niece I mentioned that she would be in the wedding party. “Oh,” second sister replied “so you ARE inviting kids! Does that mean you will be inviting FI nieces and nephews as well?” (side note here: FI and I are paying for wedding we are having a REALLY small wedding- under 50 people- some people were inevitably not going to be able to come and since FI barely knows them and there are SEVEN of them they didnt make the list) When I politely explained that it was a small wedding and regretfully quite a few people would not be invited (my fathers entire family for instance) Second sister then got red in the face and rather upset and began to go off on me. I was mecifully saved by my aunt who unknowingly interupted at which point I slunk away to the opposite side of the room.
Their bad behavior continued during dinner, however. They ordered multiple glasses of wine which was bad enough considering my aunt was footing the bill but also because they got rather tipsy. They complained loudly about their neighbors and their kids friends parents, one was texting through the whole thing and didnt have her phone on “silent” so it beeped loudly every time, at one point they started hitting one another (yes these woman are in their 40’s and were hitting one another) and were so loud that when my sister in law tried to make a toast no one could hear her and they refused to be quiet.
Afterward we went to my aunts house for dessert. This was on the invite but sisters announced that they didnt know the way and had already carried their gift into one venue so it was now MY responsibility to take care of it. They giggled and stumbled out to the parking lot where one sister kicked off her shoes, ran to her car in her barefeet and then made her sister go back to get them for her. They did show up at my aunts but refused dessert and sat there talking only to each other until it was time to open presents. I got to their gift third. When I picked up the box one of them announced that she “was really PISSED off at me because I had neglected to include an announcement in the invite of where I was registered so she just went to Target and bought me this.” Ummm really?!? A. I didnt send the invites my lovely aunt who threw this party and who you are now insulting did and B. isnt it considered rude to announce that you expect gifts by telling people where you are registered on the invite? and C. isnt that why you emailed and asked me two weeks ago and I responded?
Another side note here: I am about to bash the gift these ladies gave me. I would NEVER expect anyone to give me a gift much less an expensive one but on top of all of their other behavior I had had it.
Between the two of them they got us a 19 dollar crockpot. These are 40 something well established women who both live in extremely affluent communities, have big houses, lots of perks and drive nice cars. Their dear brother and I warrented a 19 dollar crockpot that we didnt even register for. From the two of them. Ouch.
They stuck around through the fourth gift which was from one of my bridesmaids and dear friends. She got us the Martha Stewart cake plate I had registered for- one of my favorite things I had picked out. I was so happy and along with several of my relatives was busy admiring it when from across the room one of the sisters shouted is that Kate Spade? Last and final side note here: We registered for Kate Spade china.How would they know that unless they had in fact seen our registry and did in fact know where we were registered at??? Makes me wonder….I replied that no, it was Martha Stewart. For her grand finale that sister proceeded to dramatically roll her eyes and reply in a sing-songy voice, “Martha Stewart, plain, plain, plain and boring!” Thats right quadruple ouch.
I was happy when a few minutes later and barely into my gift opening they stood up in front of the group and announced that they had to leave now. I for some crazy reason offered them hugs to which I got half hearted stand two feet away lean in and pat person on the back responses. It was lovely.
And that my friends is my WAY too long story/rant about my first meeting with my new SIL’S. Thank you for listening this has been better than therapy 🙂