No Acknowledgment From Family

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
537 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If you’re not close to you’re family and have a “non-existent relationship” with them, why were you expecting them to make a fuss over your engagement, and why are you hurt that they’re not?

Post # 3
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Lilibet:  This seems so strange! I have a very close family though so I guess this sort of thing is really foreign to me!

How did they all find out? If they didn’t hear about the engagement from you personally could they be acting passive aggresively as pay back? (not that that’s ok at all, just wondering?)

I say if you don’t care about not having them there, don’t! Just elope or have something really small and don’t waste the extra time, effort and money on them! It sounds like you’d be much happier that way!

Post # 4
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Hausfrau:  OP has just gotten engaged!  Some aknowledgement from her family would be nice!   Congratulations OP!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  waddle.
Post # 5
Member
537 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

waddle: I didn’t say an acknowledgement wouldn’t have been nice, I asked why she expected it from family members from whom she is estranged.<br />

Miss_E_xx: agreed.

OP- you said your siblings all know- did you tell them personally? If yes, you’re saying that none of them said “congratulations” when you told them? If not, I’m not sure I’d be racing to congratulate my sibling either if they didn’t feel a need to tell me personally. It sounds like you all are just really not in touch, in which case, I think actions on both sides are appropriate.

Post # 6
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

 

Lilibet:  Congratulations on your engagement!

My fi has been engaged once before and when we got engaged his family took very little notice. It definitely hurt both of us aHowe are really close to them and spend lots of time with them.

now we are actively planning a wedding, they are far more excited and involved.

in my experience, people just dont take engagements as seriously as they once did. I know lots which have either been called off or very long so I admit even I didnt see it as such a big deal, until now that i am planning a wedding.

Perhaps once you start planning they might be more excited? Or throw a big engagement party?

Also, did you did not formally announce it to them they might not feel obligated to send you a congrats. 

 

Post # 9
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

You’re assuming pple know. Just bc u post something on fcb and depnd on others to tell them does NOT mean that they officially know. They may be waiting for you to pick up the phone or send out formal announcements!

Post # 11
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Lilibet

I am sorry that your family did not acknowledge this milestone in your life. I know how hard that is I didn’t feel like I even had family till I got married. Do you have close friends you can go celebrate with ?

Post # 14
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I am sorry to hear that maybe set up a webcam and celebrate with your friends via skype?

Post # 15
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

It sounds like your family is a bit like mine. We’re all over the world and have busy lives. My proposal happened to be at a family party, so many of them were there, but many of them were not. If I’d just announced it on Facebook my sister would have RAILED at me. 

Even if you don’t normally keep in close contact, I would email them or call them personally (aside from your mom– well done with the letter!) and let them know.

Don’t be a victim. TRY to be unemotional and imagine a wedding you would like to have regardless of whether they attended or not. You can’t force a Perfect Family so don’t try. Simply plan a nice event and invite them. It’s up to the if they accept the invitation or not.

But getting stroppy and punishing them by purposefully excluding them is — I’m sorry to be blunt– very immature and a bit ridiculous.

If you want to be treated as an adult, act like one. Part of that is understanding that people are busy and you are not the center of their world. You are also very far away from them. It doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors