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So my parents have decided to pay for the wedding but if they do , no alcohol will be served. I was told if we wanted to pay for it, is not an option due to religious reasons.
Will guest be discourage to come if i tell them its going to be a dry reception? I've just heard bad comments from others that have attended weddings with none.
I dont think they will be discouraged to come. It depends if they are the same religion or not if they will really get it or not. Or if they will leave sooner than if there was alcohol.
It depends on what is important to you and what you can afford. For me personally I would have a smaller wedding with alcohol, but that is my family and my decision, not necessarily yours.
I would not at ALL be discouraged from attending but it definitely wouldnt be as personally fun compared to alchohol being served. Can you pay for the alcohol portion, would they be okay with that?? LOL. My SO's fam does not drink a drop and I refuse to cater to anyone else as far as major things like that go. But no, to answer your question, I definitely wouldn't be discouraged. I go to every wedding I'm invited to :)
@MissTX: Nope family said if they are paying for all cost then no alcohol. Most of their friends are from church so i guess they dont want to offend them. We still haven't decided if we are going to take them on their offer. We live in DC but they want it to be in Texas.
We had a dry wedding and everyone came and had a great time! I know that my brothers even brought whiskey in the trunk of their car and planned to sneak in flasks but were having so much fun that no one ever left, let alone touched the booze!
I dont see any problem with a dry wedding. We wanted a dry wedding but my family being decided it was neccessary and paid for it. It was a cash bar though. I was not happy to have alcohol served at our wedding because my family always drink too much and argue or say/do stupid stuff. Oh, and they did. They threw the leftover wedding cake in the trash.....and broke a bunch of vases and crap while cleaning up. UGH.
The other wedding that I went to included an extremly drunk/sluty bride that made a complete jerk of herself in front of everyone. So, I think its awesome to have a dry wedding. I actually prefer it!! :D
You can do a lot of neat things with drinks, even without alcohol. You could have mocktails. Or you could have lemonade and have a selection of berries and herbs to add to the lemonade. iced/hot coffee selections. I would go with the dry wedding and save some money.
I personally don't go to weddings just because they have alcohol, and I surely hope most people feel that way! I think if people love you and want to celebrate with you, they'll be there regardless of what's being served (or isn't being served). I like the mocktails idea =o)
Personally I would never let my parents dictate my wedding decisions, but I'm older and paying for it myself wouldn't be an issue. If you don't mind losing control over your wedding in order to save money than go for it. But for me personally not serving any form of alcohol would have definitely been a deal-breaker. My wedding was planned with the enjoyment of our friends in mind, not of my parent's friends. I would never serve my friends dinner without wine, and I would never invite them to a party without alcohol, but that's the type of people we are. If your friends Don't drink wine with dinner or alcohol at parties then it should be fine. If they do, then I'd say you need to weigh whether pleasing your parents' friends is more important than pleasing your own.
ETA: my comments above are from a bride's perspective hosting an event for my friends. As a guest I would still attend a dry wedding, but I would prefer if it was a daytime wedding.
I would still go even there is no alcohol and it is true that alcohol isn't necessary to have fun.
However, I HAVE been to one where no alcohol was served (also because of religious reasons) and boy, it was horribly boring and awkward. I think SOMETIMES especially in bigger events where most people don't know each other and aren't particularly outgoing, alcohol can act as a social lubricant.
I find it odd that a Christian family would have a zero-alcohol policy? I mean, Jesus drank wine!
I don't think people will be discouraged from coming. They are (hopefully!) coming to celebrate your union, and not just get loaded! Like PPs said, they may have less fun/leave earlier. But they also may not notice or care and you might have a very fun, long wedding! It all depends on your guests and the rest of the things you plan. Good luck!
You could definitely do some fun "mock-tails" and spice it up a little, have a sparkling cider toast... I don't think people would be discouraged from attending if it's a dry wedding (they are supposed to be there to support you, aren't they!?), but I'd be a little put off if I didn't know it was a dry reception going in. I don't need alcohol to have fun, but I just assume it's something expected at a wedding (I'm seated firmly in the full open bar camp, generally). I would tell your friends (anyone your own age) through word of mouth and casually mention it a dry reception, but you're doing ____ (whatever you choose to replace the alcohol).
I think some guests won't like it, but hopefully if it's for religious reasons, they will respect your family's decision.
If not serving alcohol is a deal breaker for any of your guests, then you need new friends. Sorry but I just don't buy into the whole thing about how you have to serve alcohol because that's just what you do. The people coming to your wedding should be the people that love you and want to celebrate your marriage any which way you so choose.
I have been to dry receptions and I've been to ones with alcohol. I have never once let that determine how involved I am in someone's special day. You never know what people's reasons are nor is it always your business to know.
We are planning a dry reception because there are issues of alcoholism in our family. We are not being apologietic about the fact that there won't be any alcohol nor are we offering any explination. It is what it is. We're all adults and I must say our friends are pretty cool. No one needs a drink to have a good time...they just have fun.
How old are you? If you're getting married, it seems a litle beyond the age where your parents should be saying "No drinking allowed" because they don't want to offend church friends. Any way to pay for it yourself or downsize? That kind of control would bother me to no end when it's supposed to be a celebration for my husband and I, not my parent's friends.
I like a glass of wine with dinner, and you can't get me on the dance floor without a few drink in me. Is it no dancing as well? I'm cool with a dry reception and would come regardless, but I do like to enjoy a drink at an adult occasion.
If you are having a dry wedding then I suggest having it in the afternoon, maybe a lunch reception... I would definetly go but I would be bummed there was no alcohol, especially if it was a weekend. I also wouldn't be dancing w/out alcohol haha. Maybe let them pay for an afternoon reception and have an after party with your friends or something....
I would rather have a dry wedding. That way, people aren't getting trashed and getting to crazy, and you don't have to worry about it feeling like a dirty nightclub (exaggerating). I think it is classy to have a dry wedding! A glass of wine or champagne to toast would be nice but it isn't necessary in my opinion!
The last two weddings I was invited to didn't have alcohol. Maybe it's a Southern thing, but it's not uncommon down here. I don't drink, so it's never an issue. If the only thing that is bothering you about your parents offer is the no alcohol policy, I would take them up on it. Weddins are expensive. Alcohol at weddings is super expensive. But if there are other things bothering you (like your parents being able to dictate the guest list or other major decisions), I might just have my own smaller wedding.
My DH and I would definitely still come and definitely NOT complain :) I've seen a couple weddings get ruined because of people that couldn't handle their alcohol. No alcohol = drama free to me! Maybe consider doing an earlier reception, like ending at 8PM, to make the absense less noticable if you really are worried about it. Good luck!
@MadameTussaud: yes, this exactly! a dry weddng wouldnt discourage me from attending. people can always drink before or after, if its important to them.
@MadameTussaud: yes, this exactly! a dry weddng wouldnt discourage me from attending. people can always drink before or after, if its important to them.
If people won't go because the cant drink then the aren't friends and they aren't worth an invitation anyway....
I think it would be fun no matter what, and people shouldn't even consider alchol when deciding to go to your wedding or not!
However, I would be nervous giving so much control to my parents, but that's just me
@FutureMsVW: Sometimes giving up control isn't a choice......if you can't afford it and they pay, it is what it is.
There is nothing wrong with a dry wedding if the reason it's dry is cultural/religious. Most of the negative comments about dry weddings are usually more so about people who just don't want to pay for it or want to have a cash bar (in which case it isn't really dry). I think it's fine to advise your guests maybe on your website that their will be no alcohol at the reception, but you don't need to. It sounds like a lot of your guests will expect it to be dry anyway.
I've been to dry weddings and I had just as much fun there as weddings with open bars. I don't need alcohol to have fun.
I had an afternoon wedding with no alcohol and just soft music playing in the background. It was a little boring, but it was 2:00 in the afternoon - so I don't think people expected a crazy time.
@Dandelion D: This is absolutely the best response I've read in these "dry reception" posts! My fiance and I don't drink, and neither of our families is really the "partying" type, so we're not having alcohol at our reception. I cannot stand the people I talk to who tell me that it's ridiculous and that we "must" have alcohol because that's "just what you do" at these things. Our friends are our friends because they love us for who we are, including our choice to not drink. We plan to have a very nice afternoon wedding regardless of the drinks we do or don't serve.
If you really feel as if you are completely leaving your friends' wishes out of the equation, my suggestion would be to have the official reception in the afternoon, perhaps for lunch, and then arrange for a more informal celebration with your friends later that evening. That way you could enjoy your more formal reception with your family and their friends, while still getting to party with your own friends in a more casual environment. Your friends would probably enjoy that atmosphere more anyway!
I've been to a lot of dry weddings and I still had fun,there was another that didn't even have dancing! But we made the best of it and had fun talking,taking pictures and stuff..don't worry if they are ur true friends they will enjoy themselves:)
If you want booze, pay for the booze. I can totally understand if there are aspects of a wedding that your parents feel uncomfortable contributing to, but you should not let that deter you from what you want at your own wedding.
That said, I don't think any reasonable person would not come to a dry wedding because it is a dry wedding (religious reasons or not). Drinks can add to the atmosphere, but anyone who NEEDS alcohol to have a good time likely has a drinking problem. Afterall, your guests are there to mingle, eat, and celebrate with you, not to mooch off free booze.
@CrazyCoffeeGeek: Its kind of hard to go against your parents wishes if they are paying for the food. I speak from experience.....
Like so many have said, if they are coming to get drunk, then that is just sad.
Enjoy because you deserve happiness :)
People will still come but not everyone will like it. I personally don't like when other people make those decisions for me, but I would never not go b/c there wasn't wine on the tables. My cousin had a dry wedding this past summer and unfortunately, people (including her brothers who share the same religious beliefs) were sneaking out to the parking lot to drink out of coolers in the trunk of their cars. As a result, people were constantly leaving the reception hall for long periods of time. I say you should do whatever you want, if you want your parents to fund the wedding you might have to go dry, however, don't be surprised if the festivities end early, and people head out to the after party somewhere
I would definitely come to the wedding, but I might skip the reception, or leave right after dinner, and I certainly wouldn't dance.
As someone who does not drink alcohol, I am often disgusted by the concept that people can not have a good time without it! I have been married twice before and did not have alcohol at either reception and no one complained, at least not to me.
@Ms.BlueEyesDC: I'm not religious, but when I'm invited to a wedding, I'm always grateful that the couple wants me to be part of their special day (no matter how they choose to organize their day). I've gone to all kinds of weddings, some with meals and alcohol, some without, some with just appetizers, etc. It is not for me to judge their special day. I always try to make them feel happy by being grateful.
It's not about anyone else than you and your future husband. Whatever you guys choose will be ok 
.
If it’s a breakfast or lunch reception then it would be fine. I would still go regardless but I would be more likely to leave early if alcohol wasn't available.
My girlfriend had a similar situation at her wedding. Her parents aren't big drinkers, and the groom's family does not drink at all. The families didn't feel like alcohol should be served. She honored the wishes of their families, so they did not serve alcohol at the reception. After the reception, the couple invited their close friends and some family to join them at the hotel where they were staying, and they hosted a bar tab at the hotel. We all stayed for 2-3 hours...drank, laughed, and had a really good time.
Side note - The wedding was beautiful, but like some others have mentioned on here, some of the guests were sneaking out to their cars to mix drinks. I didn't mind that there wasn't alcohol at the actual wedding since I knew I would have time later in the night to have some drinks with the couple. I will say that not many people danced which may or may not have been due to the lack of alcohol.
I think the suggestions to have a brunch or early afternoon wedding are great! Good luck!
@Speez33: Because we can't afford a full bar AND because its on St Patrick's Day we are getting married at 2pm and having just beer and wine. When its gone, its gone. I am not having a wedding so people can come get drunk. Its to celebrate our union as man and wife. Go get drunk on your own dime.....not mine :)
Honestly the bar is my favorite part of the wedding. Maybe that's because I'm not a mushy gushy person. I would still go to the wedding without alcohol though! BUT it is your wedding and you all should do whatever works for you. If you don't have the money and NEED your parents' help, I would do what they say, or try to compromise. If you can do it yourself and feel the alcohol is a must, pay yourself.
Maybe you could do an afternoon wedding where the lack of booze is less apparent?
I would definitely go to a dry reception but I probably wouldn't stay very long after dinner and I would probably be to shy to dance without a little liquid courage. That being said I would be there to support the couple and I would not complain about the lack of alcohol.
On a side note, just as the suggestions that one "must" have alcohol at a wedding to have a good time are annoying, so are all of the "they must not be your real friends if they need liquor to have a good time" comments.
ETA: I get really bothered by the implication that something must be wrong with you if you "need" alcohol to have a good time and that seems to be one of the number 1 defenses of those who support dry weddings. At the end of the day, personal drinking habits/preferences should not matter on another couple's wedding day.
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