No alcohol, no dancing, no invite to the ceremony…

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
4440 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Doesn’t sound worth it to me.  I would have an intimate ceremony, and find somewhere else.  That’s just my opinion.

 

Post # 4
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t travel for a wedding I won’t see, and for what seems like a lunch reception.  It seems gift grabby.  Why not just have the people you’re inviting  for the ceremony be the only invites to your reception.  

Post # 5
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yikes. I wouldn’t travel for what is essentially a lunch party. I get that it’s to celebrate your marriage, but without being able to witness the ceremony it would be rather disappointing.

Post # 6
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I say keep looking for another venue but I am seriously put off by not being invited to the ceremony so I would be looking for reasons to be upset.

Post # 7
Member
894 posts
Busy bee

Ditto.  That’s a lot to ask of your guests.  Sorry.

Post # 8
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I understand anxiety issues and I get why you want to keep it small and simple but I also think your guests may feel that it may not be worth the trip. Would you consider moving the reception to another place?

I would maybe try to make something work. However, at the end of they day, it is your day and you guys really should do what you want. If people don’t want to come, then they won’t.

Post # 9
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

There’s no way I’d come across the country, to just go to lunch.

A better bet would maybe be to have a small ceremony and on another day at another location (or the same day, different location) have a real reception. Still though, you can’t expect your family and friend’s to spend that much money to not even see you get married.

Post # 10
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

By the way, we are having a small ceremony and large reception. Everyone seems very excited to be invited to the party and don’t seem to be hurt that they aren’t invited to the ceremony. We have guests that I know would love to be there, but they understand why we want to do it this way and respect our decision. Our reception will have booze and dancing though. Goodluck.

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@cutiebomb7789:  People traveled for our no-dancing luncheon! We had a fun RD the night before, and the night of our wedding we took a party bus out dancing!

But people also got to attend the ceremony. So there’s that!

Post # 12
Member
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@cutiebomb7789:  I would not come to a lunch without booze. However, I would go to a wedding reception even if I was not invited to the ceremony.  We got married in an intimate ceremony (25 people) and then had a 100 person reception (there was booze but no dancing) and I didn’t hear anything about people being upset about not seeing the ceremony. There may have been a few “hurt” feelings, but when word got around that we were originally not going to invite ANYONE except one witness, everyone piped down. Its your wedding, do it how you want…. but I wouldn’t expect for people to travel for what is probably going to be a metiocre/fair catered lunch (because, let’s face it, most catered food is not excellent.)

Post # 13
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Convincing people to travel cross country for a wedding is hard enough.  Travling cross country for what basically ammounts to lunch is a hard sell.   And while extra activites sound nice, that means I’m spending extra time and vacation days on this trip. 

Post # 14
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’d have to be my sister for me to travel cross-country in this situation. I’d suggest finding a new reception venue or making the ceremony guests the only guests at the reception. I don’t know if this is an option for you, but have you thought of eloping? It might help with your fiance’s anxiety problems.

Post # 16
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry but there’s no way I would travel (spend money on flight and hotel) just for lunch. In fact, it wouldn’t matter what the reception was, I’m not traveling if I can’t see the ceremony. 

My cousin is getting married in our town this summer, we aren’t invited to the ceremony (very private in their backyard), but we are invited to dinner/after parTy. I have no problem with this, because I don’t have to travel (as in spend $$ to get there).

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors