(Closed) No anniversary anything :/

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
5967 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Asking too much?  NOPE!  The excuse, I wasn’t brought up like that, does not fly, he’s not a kid, he’s a man and unless he wants to wake up tomorrow morning with his head sewn to the carpet and no eyebrows, he’d better GET like that in short order.  The fact is regardless of his upbringing, your happiness is important, and he’d better start investing in that with a couple bucks worth of romantic shit.

Post # 4
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Sorry you were dissapointed.I agree that upbringing is not a valid excuse.He should have at least got you a card…even a homemade one.lol

Post # 5
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sorry!  I went through this.  My family got cards/gifts for nearly every holiday and initially Fiance had no idea what holidays were card-worthy and we turned it into a little bit of an inside joke.  Luckily he had female friends when we were first dating who clued him in on the anniversary card-giving ritual. 

I would let him know how much it means to you and helps you feel appreciated and loved, even if you know he loves you it’s nice to be told/given a little token every once in a while.  He could even write you a note rather than buy you a card!

Post # 6
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just discuss with him that you would like to celebrate your anniversaries with gifts, presents or something fancier than chipotle? if this is your first anniversary together, its possible he just didn’t think about. maybe discuss your expectations and make sure you are on the same page.

Post # 8
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Nona99:  That’s what would happen to my husband if he was empty handed. 

I would set an expectation with him and go from there. Sounds like he has the capability to be sweet and romantic. He might just need a push or a reminder. 


Post # 9
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I understand. My boyfriend didn’t get me anything for our 1 year anniversary either. Unfortunately, he was pretty broke after paying his half of the bills. He still could have gotten me a card but really his mind doesn’t work like that. I was a little disappointed about not getting anything but my disappointment only lasted a minute. The truth is my Fiance is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He treats me as if I’m worth my weight in gold. My happiness means so much to him that even when I’m bored he tries to figure out what he’s doing wrong. He compliments me, supports me, is always affectionate to me, just goes out of his way to let me know I’m loved. I know whatever he has I can have. In the past anniversaries and birthdays were a test of love. Today I know I’m loved so it’s not as important as it use to be.

If your SO is there for you in every other way, I would let this one go. However, going forward, I would stop hinting and start telling him exactly what you want him to do. It may not be as romantic as him reading your mind but it’ll save you a lot of disappointment and frustration in the future.

Congratulations on your anniversary.

Post # 10
2414 posts
Buzzing bee


However, going forward, I would stop hinting and start telling him exactly what you want him to do. It may not be as romantic as him reading your mind but it’ll save you a lot of disappointment and frustration in the future.


This is excellent advice. Some men are shall we say challenged when it comes to anniversaries or romantic occasions. Tell him exactly what you want next time. I bet he will come around. Good luck!

My Darling Husband was always very romantic with me, but he was not in the habit of spending money on pricey restaurants until he met me. I took him to a few of my favorite romantic French restaurants and he saw the light. (LOL) Now it is expected that when either of us has a birthday or when we celebrate our anniversary, we go to a high end restaurant.

There is hope!

Post # 11
7776 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Since your previous posts talk about your upcoming wedding, I assume you mean dating anniversary, not wedding anniversary.

You mention TV shows… I’ve seen plenty of TV shows mentioning wedding anniversary but not so much dating anniversary. So unless you said to him plainly, “I expect a card or present for our dating anniversary”, I don’t think you can be too harsh on him.

Post # 12
5007 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree, you have to tell him, men are often totally oblivious about these things. I’ll usually say something like “let’s make our valentine’s day gifts this year” or “for our anniversary we should plan to do something together” or “let’s put a $50 limit on Christmas present this year” or “money’s tight, we should just do cards for our bday.” It’s just easier!!

Post # 13
8359 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@paula1248:  I agree. Different things mean different things to different people!

Also something to consider is why is only your wants towards the anniversary being taken into consideration? You guys need to talk and both compromise.

Post # 14
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

My sister’s husband wasn’t brought up like that either.  Guess what?  They’ve been married 13 years and she doesn’t get any gifts, cards, fancy dinners, thoughtfulness, etc.  I don’t think it’s something you can talk to him about and change.  Either accept it or find someone who has been brought up to be thoughtful.

Post # 15
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@RunnerBride13:  Done and done. I agree. 

You have to tell them, nicely, what you expect and want. It sounds horrible and selfish, but if you are to fill each others expectations you have to tell them about it. He should also tell you what he expects of you in certain respects. 


Post # 16
3140 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think that is a valid excuse. It isn’t like you are asking for a fancy restaurant and flowers and the whole nine yards. To me it sounds like you are compromising by just expecting a card (rather than a lot more celebrations and gifts) and that he isn’t at all. Also, in situations like this I think that it is always better to rise to the highest level that one of you expects (unless you can’t afford it or something), because that way no one’s feelings get hurt. If you do a big celebration, that doesn’t hurt him and it makes you happy….whereas if he doesn’t mark the occasion at all you get hurt and I’d hope that would make him unhappy that you were disappointed…

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