Post # 1
I’m a regular poster here but don’t feel comfortable posting this question with my regular user name. Sad but true.
My man is very much against the “usual” bachelor party activities – strip clubs, drinking until you pass out, etc – so he wants to plan an alternate bachelor party. He’d like to do something like camping or go gambling with some of his buddies but not necessarily call it a bachelor party (even though every one would know that it IS in fact his bachelor party). Sounds great, right? Not so much, for me. I have a serious issue with the symbolism of bachelor parties (and bachelorette parties for that matter) and really would like him to not have one at all – whether it be camping, gambling, or (ugh) a strip club. I know this sounds unreasonable but my biggest issue is that he has said he doesn’t even feel the need to have a bachelor party. He doesn’t agree with what this type of party symbolizes either – he just wants to use the tradition as an excuse to hang out with his friends. What gives?
Post # 3
My FI is going fishing with his guy friends! I think it is a good excuse for them all to hang out with no woman there. What concerns you about the guys getting together for a little guy time?
Post # 4
I think you’re being a little over the top. What’s wrong with a guys night out? Are you one of those girls that doesn’t let him hang out with his friends without you? If so, he might just be looking for an excuse to get away and hang with the boys.
Mr.mwitter80 says: “sounds clingy”
Post # 5
I also agree that you are making too big of a deal about it.
Post # 6
I usually don’t reply on bachelor party threads because they are a sensitive topic, and I don’t like to be controversial on the Bee. But, come on. This is very unreasonable. He wants to celebrate his wedding with his guy friends. We get showers and bridesmaid lunchons and all kinds of celebration for our wedding. Give him this. I am pretty sure you posted under a different name because you know this is ubsurd, unreasonable and absolutely ridiculous
Post # 7
Yeah I would let him go and just thank your lucky stars that he’s not the strip club type.
Post # 8
1) What is the “symbolism of bachelor parties” that you don’t like?
2) You say, “he just wants to use the tradition as an excuse to hang out with his friends.” Is he not normally allowed to hang out with just his friends?
Post # 9
I’m not concerned with him getting together w/ his friends… I actually love when he does because I get ME time! It’s the symbolism behind it… Meaning, “Game over” – better have one last go at it before you lose all of your freedom!
Post # 10
Then don’t call it a bachelor party, call it hanging out with his friends. He’s allowed nights out with his friends right? Sounds like he already has a great attitude about it and is not doing anything to disrespect you.
Post # 11
Why is it so horrible for him to celebrate this huge life step with his best friends camping? The symbolism is what you make it, if you don’t want to buy into social sterotypes, don’t. Not going to a strip club basically means that you’ve gone against the grain and already erased the negative connotation from the event. Anything beyond that, and I think you’re being unreasonable.
Who doesn’t enjoy a great night or weekend with friends? And what are you possibly gaining by telling someone you love and want to be happy that they can not have such a good time?
@mwitter80: I agree with Mr. mwitter80!
Post # 12
I don’t see what’s wrong with him going on a camping trip or having a clean weekend with his friends. Just call it a guys weekend if the bachelor party title upsets you. its good for him to get together with his friends and same for you and the girls. Maybe you can plan something with your friends for the same weekend.
Post # 13
Could you eleborate on what bothers you about the idea of bachelor or bachlorette parties? What is the symbolism that you don’t like?
Post # 14
@honestadvice: so he’s not doing a typical “bachelor party” event right? And he’s not calling it a “bachelor party” right? I don’t see the problem. He’s planning a guys night out to do activities you don’t disapprove of. I think you’re creating drama where there is no problem.
Post # 15
Everyone – guy or girl – should be allowed some same-sex hang out time. It does not have to symbolize anything bad. It sounds like your FI just wants to do a casual man-trip with his friends and I do not think there is anything wrong with that. Would you want him telling you not to have a girls night/weekend? Maybe you should stop looking at it in terms of the “bachelor party” and just look at it as a weekend away with friends.
Post # 16
@honestadvice: If your Fiance doesn’t view it as “Game Over” than that is not the meaning behind the evening. We are all allowed to have our own beliefs and reasons for doing things. Just because the sterotype says “game over” is the meaning, doesn’t mean that has to be the actual meaning. I think you need to open yourself up to ideas beyond what the norms are.