No bachelorette party…. And bitchy family

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@swedeypie:  So forget your cousins. Why don’t you and K plan something fun and invite B & M to join if they like. You can’t make adults get along but YOU don’t have to suffer.

Take some action, have a fun girls night and have that darn dinner. I think it’s a great idea.

Post # 4
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@swedeypie:  Yeah they sound like wonderful people to be around *eye roll*

Do something fun with your friend and get over it. If they want to act like that, why should it ruin a perfectly good time with your friend? I’d rather have no bachelorette party than one thrown by two people who can’t get along with one person they met in elementary school.

And go ahead with your dinner plans. If it is the night before your wedding, I am sure that will trump your cousin’s dinner, right? If it doesn’t, you know your family will show up like parents and what not. Besides, they will really look like jerks when someone asks them why they are having a party on your rehearsal dinner night.

Post # 5
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Wow…your cousin sounds awful. I don’t think it sounds like your family, just her. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Can you ask your parents or another family member to step in and handle making sure people know that YOUR dinner the night before is the one they should attend.

Post # 6
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wait a sec:

“that’s fine. B didn’t really feel like inviting you anyway.”

TO YOUR OWN BACHELORETTE PARTY???

I’m laughing at the absurdity!

Post # 7
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@megz06:  +1

OP, they sound like [insert bad word]… You are better off without their company, I would have to stop myself from thinking about them just to NOT get upset.

Sheesh some people… Maybe they are jealous you are getting married…

Post # 8
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

The whole point of your family coming to town is for YOUR wedding, I highly doubt they would skip your rehearsal dinner to go to ”a party”. 

She is going to feel pretty silly when barely no one (if anyone) from the wedding shows up :/

Post # 9
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@swedeypie:  UMMM did your cousins miss the memo about what a bachelorette party is?  They want to go do their own thing?  WOW.

I’m sorry you are dealing with this.  My first thought is maybe they wanted to do something that was just for family or something like that.  It’s odd to me that now because you, the bride, wants to bring BFF for the fun, they are doing their own thing.  Have they ever been around you or your BFF?  Are you two cliquish?

@MsJ2theZ:  I’m also confused that they didn’t want to invite you to your own bachelorette party…odd.

I think that it’s time you pull the bride card with your family.  If you don’t want to do this for the bachelorette party, you should def do this with your dinner the night before.  It’s nice that your cousin is trying to get the family together, but unless it is in order to SURPRISE YOU, honestly, your family is there to hang out with you and not your cousin.  

Depending on how nice you feel like being (and honestly I would just put my foot down idk that’s just me), I would compromise that they have dinner the night before where your FI and you want to do dinner, then you can do whatever your cousin has planned.  

What’s up with these women?  Are they younger?  Not engaged and jealous?  In need of a reality check of some sort?  Maybe you can get your mom/dad in on the act and have them go to their parents as they need to be taught some manners and rules in ettiquite (I mean this in the BEST way…who says they didn’t want to invite the bride to her own party!?!)

Post # 10
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

… I’m so confused as to why this person was “planning” Your bachelorette party but complaining about who you want to come. I was my friends MOH and planner her party and I invited everyone, even girls i could not stand for the life of me, you know why? because its NOT MY PARTY! Sheesh. Sounds like maybe you need put your foot down and remind these girls why they are in the situation they’re in. THEY can change their plans, Yours are staying right where they are and they can deal when no one shows up for whatever thing they’re planning.

Post # 12
Member
1584 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@swedeypie:  Your cousins sound like a pair of bitches. I would tell M to pretend she never received her invitation because you don’t want her there anymore!

Post # 14
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

This is what they remind me of Innocent

 

Post # 15
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@swedeypie:  haha you are totally fine using the word bitch every other sentence…that’s the great thing about this site, it’s a great place to vent so LET IT ALL HANG OUT!

I’ve admitted this before and I’m not a proud bee


But I used to get like this about other people getting married.  I had a reality check recently over my FSIL’s wedding…wasn’t in the party or included to do things other than attend the wedding…but it was hard to not be bitter and tear up and cry all the time and find negative comments to make to my other FSIL…who was also bitter and not engaged.  Again-NOT PROUD.  I really bonded with the other not engaged woman in the family because we both want to be married and had to go to this wedding and put on happy faces when we were not feeling it.  Just some insight into how bad wedding jealousy can be for some.  

 Not sure what the 40 year old cousin’s issue is, like if she’s not married by choice or just made some bad dating decisions or what.  But when you want something, very badly, it’s hard to be positive and not be jealous.  And while they might not be trying to *intentionally* make this day bad for you, they are likely not willing to put the effort in because doing what they want to do and calling the shots when it comes to your bachelorette party/night before wedding dinner….makes them feel more in control and makes them feel better.

At the end of the day, they really should have more class about them to carry themselves better.  I’m guessing they feel like they can get away with this because they are family.

I’m not sure if you are able to uninvite them or if you would even want to.  I would just put my foot down if I were you and say it like this:  I completly understand if you don’t want to hang out with my BFF and have a bachelorette party to celebrate.  But I would really like to do something the night before my wedding with family at our eatery of choice.

OR

You can do what was done to us at the last wedding:  A mass email went out to everyone who was invited with an itenerary. It was mostly sent to family and it told us exactly what to expect:

-What time we were expected to show up the day before the wedding

-Where we were expected to be

-What time we were supposed to be there

-How long dinner was supposed to be, etc.

This way, if you send it, you make it clear what YOUR expectations are together as the bride and groom.  Most people come to weddings I belive with the intentions of being as involved as possible in the wedding activities as they can.  It will nip everything in the butt as far as what your cousins are trying to do.

Good Luck!

Post # 16
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@nedaussie:  +1 lol!!

PS OP, not sure if I made it clear but the email itinerary is supposed to be for the night before the wedding.  FYI.

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