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No bachelorette party turnout

posted 2 years ago in Parties
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    1.
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    Bumble bee
    hhcheung2000       San Diego, CA

    I figured that when I got married, I'd have an amazing bachelorette party.  But because everyone is "busy," no one wants to go to Vegas besides my maid of honor.  I think that cost is a big factor but I really don't know what to think.  My fiance has also invited me to join him for his bachelor party since I don't really have many friends.

    I'm a bit sad about the whole thing and wonder if anyone else has experienced the same thing.

     
    2.
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    Buzzing bee
    bluespurrs    August 7, 2009   South-central PA, USA, Earth

    Well I know I certainly wouldn't have the time or the money to go to Vegas, that's probably the problem right there. I wouldn't take it personally.

     
    3.
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    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Vegas is only 5 hours away though! So jealous. If everyone else is going to be a party pooper, have an AMAZING time with your MOH.

    That being said, if cost is a factor, you should be sensitive to that. I went to a destination bachelorette party to Vegas and it was hella pricey. I also had an absolutely amazing time with the girls. San Diego has lots of fun stuff--why not do something local that everyone can participate in and not have an excuse to be too "busy" for? 

    I would have LOVED to have a destination party in Chicago, but nobody could afford it. So there's no point in getting upset over people's lack of cash. 

     
    4.
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    Bumble bee
    hhcheung2000       San Diego, CA

    Do you think that I should have the maid of honor look into more cost effective alternatives?

    Attachments

    1. No bachelorette party turnout :  wedding Img img1_medium.jpg (87.1 KB, 156 downloads) 1 year old
    2. No bachelorette party turnout :  wedding Img img0_medium.jpg (87 KB, 83 downloads) 1 year old
     
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    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Yep!

     
    6.
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    Bumble bee
    hhcheung2000       San Diego, CA

    I'm just afraid that there really won't be a turnout which is why I wonder if I should just tell her not to do anything.  I really haven't kept in touch with that many people since I started dating my fiance and I really don't want to invite work members to a bachelorette party.

     
    7.
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    Blushing bee
    Bear9206    7/4/09  

    I am personally not having one. My best friend leaves this week to move to another state, my sister is in a different time zone and if I cant be with them, I dont want one at all. Destination parties are difficult and Vegas is a very expensive little town, been there twice, not going back. Fun though, dont get me wrong! Just be sensitive in todays economy and if people are doing stuff for your wedding, i.e. your MOH thats asking alot. Just think if you really want one and then maybe just do a small get togethor with your friends. You dont need a huge party. I told my girlfriends before she decided to move, I really just wanted to go to dinner or maybe have a wine party at home.

     
    8.
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    Bumble bee
    hhcheung2000       San Diego, CA

    Dinner and a wine party sound good.  But everyone lives at least 2 hours away, which makes it difficult. One friend just got a job so she starts in 2 weeks.  And my MOH lives a little more than 2 hours away as well.

     
    9.
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    Buzzing bee
    pvaulter718    September 5, 2009   Pennsylvania

    My 4 bridesmaids and I all met up in Philly for mine.  It was 1 to 3 hours drive for everyone, and they got me all the obnoxious garb you can imagine.  Everyone at the bars and the clubs joined in on the fun, buying shots, drinks, making me do silly things.  Even with just the 5 of us, we had a fantastic time! Remember, whoever comes is there because they really care! live it up!

     
    10.
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    Newbee
    JayDee    08/30/2009   Thornton, Colorado

    I think I am just having a small girls day, with some food, massages and wine! It may go into dinner or a FEW drinks. But I am definitely in the same boat as you and don't keep in touch with too many people so it is going to be small with sisters and a few other gal pals.

     
    11.
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    Helper bee
    MissStellar    May 2, 2009   MI

    I'm with you. No one but my sister came to my bachelorette party. Everyone made excuses like, "Its too close to finals" "my birthday is the next weekend," and it really hurt my feelings.
    But, my sister and I ended up having a blast, and my other friends that didn't get to come are now upset that they didn't get to go.

    I live in MI and we had my party in Chicago, where my sister lives, because it was a nice weekend to get away and she had come home the three weekends before and the three weekends after.

     
    12.
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    Bumble bee
    hhcheung2000       San Diego, CA

    I'm surprised at some of the excuses they have come up with not to come in not being able to attend.

     
    13.
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    Helper bee
    pinkparfait       New York

    Are you having a bridal shower?  Maybe you can fuse your shower and bachelorette in one.  Have a sit down brunch with games and possible a small outting afterwards.  Make the best out of the situation, you definitely don't need a large crowd to have a great time!

     
    14.
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    Honey
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Definitely mingle them. I had 2 ladies coming from 4 HOURS away. Only my bridesmaids and one other friend made it and I still had a blast. I don't think it's really asking too much of them at all--it's part of their "duty" to come party with you, right?

    My shower was in the morning and then we went out that night. It worked out just fine! Everyone went shopping in between them. 

    Is there a central location at all? Man, 2 hours sounds like nothing to me as a bridesmaid! 

     
    15.
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    Worker bee
    ashleyleah    September 12, 2009   Boston, MA

    I'm sorry your friends can't buck up and have the Vegas bachelorette you would like. That's so disappointing since you only get one bachelorette and it sounds like you would do it for them.  That said, I think if you want a bachelorette you should still do it and just try to make it something that is less of a financial burden for your friends so they can focus on what's important - celebrating with you! 

    I started off with the assumption that something costly would make it difficult for my friends to attend and so I asked my best friend to plan a bachelorette party that was inexpensive and that everyone who wanted to come could afford. She asked all of my friends what they were comfortable spending and they volunteered $100 per person.  I know that this is something they all consider to be reasonable since they chose it - and subsequently they will be able to be excited for the party and focus on planning something fun.  Maybe you could consider asking your friends (or asking your MOH to ask you friends) what they would be comfortable spending?

    Good luck and I hope you have an amazing party whereever it is :)

     

     

     

     

     
    16.
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    Busy bee
    fabulouslyengaged    8/1/09  

    You really don't even need to have a bachelorette party, when  you think of it! Especially if you are having a bridal shower. Really, the men only get one party, why should you get two?

    I bet its probably the cost and the time committment...but mainly the cost. Given today's economy, and for some reason, I feel like you must be friends with some artists, no one has any money...just us to be married people with our recession packages! lol

     Don't worry. The day is really about you and him. Don't worry about the bridesmaids. You're not supposed to worry about the bachelorette party at all anyway!

     
    17.
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    Busy bee
    kitten      

    I did what pinkparfait suggested.  My friends are spread out all over the state so I had my shower and bachelorette party on the same day.  It was great!  A real "girls weekend."  I'm sorry your Vegas trip didn't work out, I'm sure it's the cost.  One of my good friends had to cancel her Cabo bachelorette party because so many people couldn't come.  We had it in Houston instead, and it was still a blast!

     
    18.
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    Beekeeper
    spaniel    March 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    If you want a BP anyway, just plan something local and smaller and your turnout will be a lot better. It would take a whole lot for me to go to a BP in Vegas... I'd have to have more time and money, first of all, and I'd have to know (and love) all of the girls going... and most bridal parties don't have all of those things going for them at once!

     
    19.
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    Busy bee
    msduck    August 2009  

    i was going to do vegas but still decided that 100-150 was too much for the cost of just transportation and hotel.

     

    how much did you guys planning on spending in vegas? my MOH was able to get the cost to under 150 without food and entertainment, for food, you could just eat at cheaper places and for entertainment you can goto a club and more likely it will be free to get in and the girls will just have to pay for drinks

     
    20.
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    Worker bee
    2009cndbride      

    Asking people to go away for your party is asking a lot.

    You are concerned about a small turnout - but you also say that you haven't kept in touch with people and don't want to invite work people, it's sounding less like this has anything to do with your party and more to do with regrets regarding friendships and desire for a big party not working out.

    Start with mending your friendships and do something that is convenient for the people you want there which will help with the turnout.

     
    21.
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    Sugar bee
    Tanya123      

     I was thinking something similar to fabulouslyengaged.  With a shower, a wedding, and potentially (for OTT guests and BMs) we're talking more money and time than most people can offer.  Although, you didn' mention whether or not you are having a shower.

    You said,  "really haven't kept in touch with that many people since I started dating my fiance and I really don't want to invite work members to a bachelorette party."  I don't want to sound mean.  I udnerstand life gets busy.  But if you haven't kept your friends as a priority, why is it that important to have this bachelorette?  And I'm not saying that they are exacting revenge on you or anything.  But if they haven't been a part of your life for a while, I can understand if they aren't willing to go to Vegas.

    I think you should either decide to go to Vegas with just your MOH, or try to have something more local.  If it was me, I would jsut skip the bachelorette. 

     
    22.
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    I am my sister's MOH and she went through a 'vegas' phase (we both live on the East Coast). I was very nervous to say anything negative about it because she is my sis and I am her MOH, but I was secretly praying she would change her mind. It is expensive and you have to take additional vacation days to the ones for the wedding, etc. Ultimately she changed her mind and I couldn't be happier!

    I am like you - I don't have a huge group of close friends with a savings account labeled "Ms. ModernDaisy's Bachelorette Party". I was never in a sorority and I moved to NYC a few years ago away from my High School and College friends so we've all sort of grown apart. My solution is going to be to have a smallish group of girls up to NYC during the weekend Mr. Moderndaisy is away on his Bachelor party (he is the opposite of me with a million close friends who want to spend their money/time on nothing else but his Bachelor party). We will all crash at my apartment and it will be fun since NYC is close enough to everyone and a very exciting city.

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