Post # 1
6 years ago, when I got married the first time, I had a MOH and 2 BMs. All 3 of them helped me get ready the morning of and get into my dress. My dress this time has a lace-up back which I will need MAJOR help getting into! I am now rethinking my agreement with my FI that we aren’t going to have any attendents other than our boys (DS is 5 and SS is 16.) Problem is, all my friends now have small children (6 and under) so I don’t even know who I would ask, and if I would make it official and have her stand up there with us or just ask someone to help me get into my dress! My mom is no longer alive. I might be able to ask my aunt, but I am afraid she’d just make me cry!!!
Post # 3
I’m not sure if I follow you. Why can’t you ask friends who have young children to be BMs? Are the childen going to the wedding? Do your friends have family who can wtach the kids for the wedding? I think it would be OK too to see if someone could just help you get dresses. I’d vote for one of your original BMs. They’ve done it before, and probably feel they were honored enough the first time. Just my opinion.
Post # 4
Sometimes, even when brides don’t have BMs, they’ll ask their friends to help them get ready or sit with them before the ceremony. You could consider this, to honor their friendship, without requiring them to perform any other "maids" responsibilities and you can still stand up alone with your FI and the boys.
Could someone else watch the kids? Would the room be too crowded if your friends and the kids all hung out with you? If they wouldn’t be too restless, this might be a good compromise. I would conisder it an honor to keep the bride company and help her get ready, even if I weren’t a "bridesmaid"…
Post # 5
I think it’s okay to ask a few girlfriends to come help you get ready – I’m sure they will understand that they can’t be official bridesmaids, since you and FI agreed on not having them. I think Mrs. LoveBug did this and it worked out just fine! Can the dads or another friend watch the young kids for a little bit before the wedding?
Post # 6
Are you opposed to having one MOH? My sis is going to be mine. There have been weddings I’ve been to where the bm’s (in your case could be one , the moh) went down the aisle, then sat down on the front row..then you and your kids could be only ones going up to altar! I saw that in 2 weddings in fact.
Post # 7
FI and I decided together not to have anyone. We don’t want to saddle our friends with the financial responsibility, and he doesn’t really have anyone he can ask. I decided to ask a friend to go with me in the am to get my hair and make-up done, and another friend to help with my dress. I know there will be more ppl in there, I just felt like I needed to get a commitment from one of them, and she’s like a second mom to my son, so she can help with him too! Problem solved, thanks to the girls here!
Post # 8
Glad you asked them. It’s perfectly fine to ask them too! Are you doing a guestbook or have a special reading? They could be included that way without being "in" the wedding party itself and still feel special. Or just maybe get them a corsage or something.
You have wonderful friends..congrats again Ms. Sea Otter!