Post # 1
My fiance and I decided not to have any alcohol at our wedding. Our faith background simply does not allow us to place temptation in front of those who are addicted and we cannot have wine for some and not for others, so we are doing Mocktail Hour with a custom drink mix the venue is designing for us and non-alcoholic white, red wines and champagne (all presented at the right time by course of the menu)
The prob is my fiance thinks we should somehow make a printed statement and include it with the invitations so that the people who are going to be upset will be prepared. I thought that word of mouth was better with a note on the website.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to tactfully handle the “no booze” thing?
Post # 3
I think your idea is the most tactful way. Some will not hear by word of mouth, so the website would cover more people than just word of mouth. You tell the truth and just let people know that because of your faith, your wedding will be alchohol free, but you will have some fun drinks available for those who want to try those.
Post # 4
really, it’s alcohol.. if someone gets upset that your not getting them drunk, they may want to look into some therapy or something. i think word of mouth would be fine(and no one will probably say anything anyway) people shouldn’t expect you to booze them up at your wedding, for those that do, it’s a perk(not a requirement)
Post # 5
It seems ridiculous that guests would get upset there won’t be alcohol! We’re not having any alcohol mostly because we don’t drink, & also because our venue is a church & they don’t allow it. No need, no one needs to know, I mean I wouldn’t put drink lists on the invite. I wouldn’t ever expect alcohol at a wedding.
However, Fiance & I put “dessert reception with punch and dr pepper” on our invites so people would know there was no food & a way to include our love for dr pepper :).
Post # 6
Guests will find out at the reception. Don’t say anything ahead of time unless you want people sneaking in their own alcohol. If someone cannot enjoy themselves for a few hours without alcohol, they have bigger issues to deal with on their own time.
Post # 7
i think they should know in advance, even if it’s just so they know that they can drive home after. i just think people expect alcohol at weddings (i’ve actually never heard of one without) so it’s best to let them know
Post # 8
i think you should use website and mouth to mouth. i understand what the other post are saying but i still will inform them.
Post # 9
I would just let the word spread through family and friends and including something on the website might not be a bad idea either if you really think there will be problems.
If you do put any info on your website, don’t say something like, ‘due to a variety of reasons, there won’t be any alcohol….’ Instead, try saying something like, ‘get excited for our mocktails, which will include… so on and so forth’. It makes it sound like a lot of fun, instead of you apologizing for something you don’t need to apologize for! 🙂
Post # 10
Well, I kind of think you should let people know. Just like Hopeandpray said. I do not drink and drive. Ever. That said, if i am attending a wedding (or any special event) I would always book a room so that I could have a few drinks if I chose to. Honestly, I would want to know if it was an alcohol free reception. Even if Ihad to drive over an hour (or two) to get home, I would know that I could and not have the expense of a hotel room. Maybe it’s regional, dont’ know what the norm is for your area. I would be annoyed if I booked a room. Again, maybe it’s me, maybe it’s regional, but I would let your guests know in some fashion. BUT, not on the invitations, that wouldn’t be the most appropriate way of communication.
Post # 11
Guests should accept graciously whatever the hosts offer. If something is not offered, then they do without and don’t say a word. One should *never* expect anything other than the hosts’ hospitality, whatever that may include. If that means the hosts do not provide alcohol, then everyone drinks virgin beverages. People do this all the time without complaint. There are countless dry receptions across the country everyday and they are not rude at all, even if some people have never encountered one. There is no reason to mention anything beforehand and you would not do so for any other event. If someone does show up and doesn’t like the fact that no alcohol is served, they can either suck it up and keep quiet or else go home since no one is forcing them to stay and celebrate the couple.
A reception is supposed to be about celebrating the couple’s new life together, not seeing how much alcohol you can drink. If you honestly cannot get through that period of time without alcohol and enjoy yourself, then there are bigger problems at hand.
Post # 12
Due to the fact that most (although definitely NOT all) weddings typically serve alcohol, most guests expect it. Informing your guests helps set the mood & minimizes complaint once people get there. I know for a fact that, at my cousin’s wedding this past March, I would have liked to know ahead of time that there wouldn’t be any alcohol. It’s not that I NEED it to have fun (far from it), it’s more that myself & other family members were expecting it & were unpleasantly surprised when we found that the “cocktail hour” had no alcohol & no food (REALLY glad that the OP is calling hers a “mocktail hour” – very cute & very clear). Amongst some of the older relatives, it garnered some negative comments & the rest of us cousins who are getting married in the near future had to spend some time explaining that this (not serving alcohol) was not totally unheard of in wedding planning.
Since, in my experience there, it was the older generation that got more unnerved than the younger generation, I would agree with your Fiance & put an insert in the invitation. (not saying the older generation is not web savvy, but my family’s older generation is not…if I don’t put it in writing, they don’t know the info).
Post # 13
Thanks so much for the feedback!There are some great ideas here.
FYI The wedding is not even remotely regional LOL! There are guests flying in from all across America, from Canada, The Caribbean and as far away as Australia . There aren’t many people from the older generation just about a half dozen and I think I will just call them. I have to do that anyways so I’ll just mention it at the time. We are planning a really great menu and I just hope everyone will be happy with what we are serving.
piglet_625 I really love the idea of phrasing our signature drinkw with “get excited about our…” Great idea! Thanks!
Post # 14
I like how serabell included it on her invite – maybe try to work in something about the mocktails on the invite.
I think you know what your guests expect – if alcohol is the standard at weddings for your friends/family, then you should definitely let them know ahead of time. (Not everyone will go to the website/speak with you before the wedding, so including it on the invites would be the safest option).
For my own guests, I think they would literally riot if there was no alcohol. Some crowds just expect it at a wedding, there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s also nothing wrong with you skipping alcohol, but I think the courteous option is to be sure all your guests know that ahead of time.
Post # 15
I think word of mouth is absolutely fine. Guests should be coming to celebrate your marriage, not to get wasted. Sure, people might expect it as it is common to serve alcohol, but they’ll be fine finding this out upon getting there. As long as you are serving good food and offering nonalcoholic drinks, no one has a right to be upset with you at all. My sister did word of mouth about this and I heard one person complain, but that was the groom’s brother who is a total frat guy. 🙂
Post # 16
Ridiculous that anyone would get upset at not being served alcohol. Most people who know you well will not expect it and others should not be disappointed if they can’t get drunk while sharing in your happiness. I think its sad that our culture has come to a point where people can’t have a good time without drinking.