no boxed gifts?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

That will be difficult! Do you have a registry? A lot of registries allow you the option to send the gift directly to the couple, and you might be able to request this as the default. Also, do you have a wedding website? You could put that request there instead of in the invitation. I would just be honest about it, people should understand. But you’re right, it doesn’t look great to put that on the invitation. You could also always tell close family and friends what your preference is and they can discreetly inform other guests.

Post # 3
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

You just want people to not bring loads of bulky gifts that you then have to transport back to your place, right?

Just keep it simple: “We are traveling directly after the wedding, and will have a hard time transporting anything afterward. Please send any gifts to this address rather than bringing them to the wedding.”

Post # 4
7915 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

It rubs you the wrong way because its poor form to put that on an invite. Then the invite reads like an invoice. You might as well write CASH ONLY. Its bad etiquette because 1) implies youre entitled to a gift and 2) dictates what it should be

I would spread through word of mouth and set up a registry with cheap/free shipping. Any gifts that do find the way to the wedding need to go back with Mom or something. Surely someone in your hometown could help. 

Post # 5
6449 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

We also had to travel seven hours to our wedding and all of our guests knew this and gave us cash instead of gifts even though we didn’t request this at all. If your guests know you, they know your situation and will likely give cash anyways. Just don’t register for gifts and spread through word of mouth that it would be difficult to bring actual gifts back.

Post # 6
3623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

babykoala:  I got married 1.5 miles from my house.  Only 3 people brought gifts. Everyone else shipped them

 It really wasn’t a big deal–I was very pleasantly surprised! 

Post # 7
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

babykoala:  Why do you think people will bring physical gifts to the wedding? Traditionally and in my experience, people mail their gifts to the bride’s home (usually before the wedding). Guests tend to bring cards to the reception, but not boxes.

I don’t think you need to worry about it. Your guests will know that you live far away. If you have a registry, set it up so that gifts are mailed to your home. If a few people still bring boxed gifts to the reception, you can bring them on the plane or ship them home.


Post # 8
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i had a local wedding and i had about 3 boxed gifts.  everything else was envelopes.  i think people don’t really bring boxed gifts to weddings.

Post # 9
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We were married a 2 day drive from where we live.  I didn’t make any specifications about the type of gift, and had no idea how much we’d have to transport home with us.

We didn’t receive many boxed gifts at all, and were able to fit the in the car.  The alternative would have been to take what we could, and pick up the remainder the next time we visited my family on the coast.

Post # 10
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well, like you, some guests may side-eye this request. But that’s not, really, the end of the world. I wouldn’t put anything on the in invitation, but I would mention it on the website and ask a few key friends/family to spread the word that it will be difficult to transport any gifts that you recieve at the wedding. 

Post # 11
4638 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Which is worse.. Figuring out the logistics of transporting some potential boxed gifts or, stating you want cash only?

I’m going to go with the latter. No one is required to give you gifts, stating your preference in regards to these hypothetical boxed gifts is poor form.

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