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I'm going with you and not your mother on this one. While it's totally okay currently to put registry and gift information on a website, it should never appear on the printed invitation. I'd put an enclosure in with the invitation that has the website and any other pertinent details.
What is it that you would want to recieve in lieu of boxed gifts? Checks? Donations? Unboxed gifts? :) I would find that a little confusing.
I am going to agree with you. That line has no place on the invite and would be better suited to the website!!
I agree that you should put that sort of info only on the website not on the invite.
Instead of 'no boxed gifts' maybe you could word it in a positive way like 'We do not have a registry because we may be moving in the near future; gift certificates appreciated from ___________________'.
Definitely go with the website. I wouldn't put anything about gifts on the actual invitation. And to me "boxed gifts" is very ambiguous.
I really think that should only be on a website. If you don't want to get gifts, you shouldn't have a registry and maybe put a little note on the website about why you don't have one and suggest gift cards for a certain store.
Yes, definitely put gift info on a website, and not on the invite. Btw, "no boxed gifts" would confuse me too. My first reaction was to think that you didn't want wrapped gifts b/c you're trying to save the environment, but I wouldn't necessarily take it to mean that you want gift certificates / cash.
I definitely agree with you! Put it on the website!
And "no boxed gifts" would really confuse me - what exactly does that mean?
NO mention of gifts should be in the invite...even if you said NO gifts, period, I wouldn't put it in the invite.
Don't put it on the invite, but put it on the website. I think it'd be okay to just say on the website why you're asking for no boxed gifts. I think it's a pain to transport gifts from my parents to our apartment, only 4 hours, much less continent to continent.
Mom's right. It's not a good idea. It's also a confusing statement.
Not appropriate on invite - you can describe the situation on your website as others have suggested. Good luck with everything!
Thanks for the feedback - and so fast!
I think I'll be veto-ing Mum on this one so have plenty of time to think about wording for website. I think something along the lines of cvbee's suggestion is appropriate.
I agree that the wording is confusing/rude, though possibly not as bad as a friend's invitation a few months ago that said "Monetary gifts only please." !!!
Lots of brides are including a card with invitations saying we are registered at the following: and list the bridal registry store and registry number.
In lieu of that, and due to the fact that SOME people do not have or use computers, I would not think it would be rude to include an extra card with the invitations saying basically what you have said here.
"We have not chosen a bridal registry as we are unsure where we will settle and are trying to keep our moving expenses to a minimum."
They can certainly draw their own conclusions and send a check.
It's never appropriate to include the words "gift," "registry," or anything else regarding gifts on or with a wedding invitation, period. Yes, a lot of people do it now, but it's never been correct etiquette-wise. One is not to assume that a guest is going to bring her a gift. That information is meant for a website, shower invitations and word of mouth.
I agree that it should be mentioned on your website instead of the invite! I also find that "boxed gifts" is kinda confusing... I was like "So, they want a gift bag instead?" lol
In my experience, people always bring gifts whether you want them or not! However, if people know you're moving or you don't live locally-- most people will give you gift cards/$$. I'm moving to the US & at our engagement shower the majority of the gifts were gift cards! Not exciting to open... but a very kind & thoughtful gesture!
I agree with the other bees... I've never heard of something like that being on an invite. I think if you really wanted to specify something like that then you're right, it should be done on a website or something. But I do think you're right when you're wondering if that is the guests' choice. I bet even if you specify, there will always be somebody that brings you one lol Guests are just like that..
That is not appropriate. You cannot dictate what people buy you since gifts are 100% optional.
You never, ever mention gifts on an invite. Never. You are correct. It sounds like begging for money.
I agree. I'd also suggest having family and friends quietly spread the word - and reason - for wanting cash or gift cards! We've done this (we live about 3000 miles from where we're marrying) and it worked well for my first shower!
I don't know what the proper etiquette for this is..but I got 2 invites with this wording last year "No Boxed Gifts" and I completely understood it. (one was a civil ceremony and one was a Hindu ceremony). Everyone I spoke to understood that they weren't sure where they were going to settle.
This is one of those circumstances where it depends on the guests and YOU know your guests best.
I think the "No boxed gifts please" is a somewhat Hindu-related phrasing. I have seen it written on plenty of Hindu wedding invitations. My initial reaction was "That is so rude!", but after seeing it over and over again, it seems like no big deal.
So, if you're inviting mostly Hindu guests, probably okay. If there's a mixture, I would avoid it.
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Hello all!
I'm a newbee to all of this - so possibly first of many posts....
Bit of background: Am a brit hindu, engaged to a lovely canadian christian - thus essentially planning 2 events: hindu (&legal) ceremony in england and few months later a christian ceremony/service in canada. Trying to do both 'properly' but will probably need to compromise.
Have booked england venue (over a year in advance as learning the hard way that reasonably priced venues get booked up fast) so whilst thinking about it thought I'd 'quickly' do invitations. Nightmare!!! Currently disgaree with mother re: wording of invite. In particular whether the sentence:
"no boxed gifts please"
is appropriate on an invite. I don't like it as it suggests people ought to bring a gift and is almost like asking for money. I know most people will want to, but surely thats their choice? I thought the nicer thing would be to put website details on invite instead and details on there instead (like 'no boxed gifts please' or a giftlist - though in reality gifts would probably be a bit of a pain as we don't even know if we'll settle in england or canada).
Had found this wedding stuff quite fun until got stuck!!! Any advice appreciated...