No bridal party?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We decided not to have a bridal party, too. Really really glad we went this route. Keeping everything simple. My girlfriends are still ready and willing to help out with any shopping or planning or whatever, but they appreciate just being able to come as a guest and have a good time without being put to work. I’ve only had pretty good bridesmaids experiences, but in the end we loved the idea of this hassle free route.

Post # 3
Member
1335 posts
Bumble bee

I debated between not having a bridal party and having a really small one.  Currently, I have two BMs (both are MOHs) but now that I changed my wedding date from October to end of November, I might only have one BM.  But I purposely only chose the closest of my closest friends as my BMs, so I’m happy not having anyone either.

In all honesty, I hate all the crazy planning and how ape-s*t nuts brides get with doing every single wedding tradition that you see in the magazines and on The Knot.  Since I hated all the modern crappy wedding traditions, there’s no way I’m putting my BMs through that.  And they definitely love me for being such an easy bride to support!  Not having a big wedding party has significantly cut down all of the drama and hurt feelings flying back and forth — if I could do it all over again, I’d definitely keep my wedding party to a small number or none at all.

Post # 4
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

emma34:  We also didn’t have any bridal/grooms parties… It was just so much easier & not doing it kept alot of stuff our to-do/to-buy list. So much less stressful! =)

Post # 5
Member
2962 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

A wedding is about the bride and the groom everything else is just icing on the cake. Its completely up to you. You could ask your closest friends to wear something nice they already have in their closet. The comfy and offbeat weddings where BPs aren’t matching is kinda the trend now so it wouldnt look out of place. You don’t have to give anyone a special title or anything.

Post # 6
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If I could do things over, I’d do the same thing. My wedding is also in October and I am more stressed out over my bridesmaids than anything else. Half of them are fantastic, also, they are family which helps. The other half is making this experience suck, BAD. Hating it. 

I hope you have the best time ever and don’t feel like you NEED to do anything, you do what you want to do. 

Post # 7
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

 

emma34:  I am not having a bridal party. Some of my friends have volunteered a little help here and there, and I’m very grateful, but mostly I’ve been doing things myself, with help from my fiance, mom, and sister. I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to hover over me or to spend money on a dress they’ll never wear again and a hairdo they’d never choose for themselves (my besties are very different from me and from one another and we do NOT have the same taste). I’m also planning my own bachelorette party that people can participate in or not, whatever they want – my wedding is a guilt and obligation free zone. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m not having a bridal party either. I can barely choose my own clothes for the wedding, deciding what my friends should wear is the last thing in the world I want to do. Plus, the meaning implied behind having a retinue of support ladies helping you to the altar is distasteful to me… I am soooo not the bride who shows up in a dress too big to get out of the car on her own, who needs help being zipped into it, who needs her friends to carry her train so it doesn’t drag on the ground and stand next to her at the altar in case… (what?) and who needs someone to walk her down the aisle and give her away. All those traditions imply an idea of femininity that is completely foreign to my reality.

So I’m going bridal party-less and walking my own damn self down the aisle.

Post # 9
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

emma34:  I think this is a GREAT idea!! I would do this if I had my time again. Avoid the dramas!

Post # 10
Member
8905 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

We didn’t have a bridal party, and it was great.  No hassle, our siblings and friends still helped out and felt super included and hung out while we were getting ready, and we had a sweetheart table so lots of people hung out and mingled with us during dinner.  No regrets at all.

Post # 11
Member
6866 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I did exactly what you are describing, was very happy with the outcome, and would do it again in the same circumstances.   We had one attendant each, and I had a flower girl, but no extended bridal party.

The setting was a formal one, so  I could have easily gone the other way.    

By then I’d been in many bridal parties and the idea of imposing my choice of a dress along with the obligation to pay for it, just never sat  well with me, despite the tradition. We did not have the means to offer at the time, in any case.  Many of my friends lived out of town and would be already be spending $$$ just to attend.  Truth be told, and based on most of my own experiences,  I mostly felt I was doing everyone a favor.   In addition, it would have been tough to limit a bridal party to a reasonable size had we gone down that road.  On top of this I did not register, didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to throw a shower, and did not want a b- party. 

I did explain what I was doing to a few people,  which kind of violates the rule of not telling people why they are not invited to do something, but in some cases, I had been a BM for that person, and wanted no hard feelings.  To the contrary, people were incredibly supportive.   I did photographs together with my closest friends dressed just the way they wanted to look that day.  We sat with our siblings and their spouses or  FIs so that there was no discrimination among our friends at all. 

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