No Bridal Party… getting ready?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do?
    Invite the girls along : (7 votes)
    27 %
    Keep it family for both of us : (2 votes)
    8 %
    Let him invite the guys, and keep it family for me : (17 votes)
    65 %
    other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3014 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MrsDToBe2014:  it’s his day also. You want to spend it with family so do that. He should have the same opportunity to spend time with whomever he chooses. You told him “no” like a child? Good lord. And if your friendships are that delicate then they are not really friendships. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    679 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I did the same thing you’re doing. In hindsight it was the best decision ever for us, but I know how complicated it can get.

    Why don’t you suggest that he has hang out time the night before or something? Especially since there won’t be that much time the day of.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    I’m not having a bridal party either, but I AM having my girls help me get ready (one if them is doing my makeup) and I AM going to have some champagne while I get dressed.

    I can understand your not wanting to be in church after drinking, but I’m not sure I’d put my foot down about your FI having his guys with him. LIke the PP mentioned: it’s also his wedding! He wants to share the experience with them and that is totally normal!

    Post # 6
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @mamadingdong:  totally agree. He’s a grown man. If he wants his friends there then who cares? You can either invite your friends (and you should be able to pick whoever you want without the rest of them acting silly over it) or just your family. I can’t imagine telling my husband “no” to something like this as if he is my child.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    @MrsDToBe2014:  Not letting him get ready with his friends is pretty controlling. I think you should let him get ready the way he wants to get ready and with who. If you only want family around you then only have family around you, but let him have who he wants. I think you are (and have been) over-analyzing and worrying about other peopletoo much. If you want a friend there, have a friend there. If you don’t, then don’t. Don’t worry about what other people think. Don’t force your anxiety and what you want on your FH.

    Post # 8
    Member
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I didn’t have a bridal party either 🙂

    Let your husband get ready with whoever he wants to get ready with.  Apologize for this bridezilla demand, and tell him that he should do whatever makes him happy.

    I have no idea who my husband got ready with.  I primarily got ready with my mom and FMIL; but friends and other family members came in and out of my room as they pleased to give hugs and share my excitement. 

    If you want to get ready with just your family, then that’s what you should do. With regard to this statement:

    “I know for a fact at least one of the girls wouldn’t talk to me after the wedding.”

    … Maybe you should talk to this girl, and anyone else who is offended that you aren’t having a bridal party, now before the wedding.  Invite them out for coffee or to come over and watch Friends re-runs, and candidly explain why you made the choices you did and that it has no reflection on the way you feel about them.  Let her say whatever she has to say, and clear the air. 

    And if that doesn’t work out or isn’t an option for whatever reason, then maybe someone who won’t talk to you again over not being invited to get ready with you isn’t someone who you want to hang out with anyway.

     

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    10902 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @MrsDToBe2014: Do what you want do, spend the time with your family, it’s one special you won’t get back. I understand your concern as you don’t want there to be an atmosphere, but they’ll know and should understand it’s your day.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I think it was a bad idea for you to try and dictate who he is/is not allowed to hang out with that day, and that you need to back off on this one. He is a big boy and should be trusted to make the decision that is best for him. “Let” him hang out with his guys while you hang out with your family.

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