Post # 1
I know this is probably going to sound concieted, but does anyone else out there not really have a budget? My parents gave me a number that they are expecting to pay, but didn’t really say “you must stay around this”. I kinda budgeted out what I think things are going to cost, but its really hard to work without a true budget! And every time I ask for one they just tell me “let us know what you want and we’ll work with it”!
While I truly appreciate my parents generosity, I am worried we are going to end up spending way more moeny on our wedding then we are worth! Any advice??
Post # 3
For the sake of planning I’d just take their estimated number and use that as your budget. If while planning you realize that some things may push you over that number, take it to them and figure out if you can keep it or not. When someone says they’re expecting to pay some dollar amount it usually means exactly that – they’re simply expecting that’s what the wedding will cost. If it turns out to be more, it turns out to be more and that’s something you’ll need to discuss. But I wouldn’t take it as an open invite to spend more than that amount without permission.
Post # 4
If your parents gave you a number. That’s your budget.
I personally could never go over that number with good conscience.
Post # 5
we dont really have a budget per say but all in all i know our day wont be more than eight grand at the very very most so its not really the same im sure. we know hat we want and i havent left anything out because “its to expensive” its just who we are i guess. i would say pretend your paying for your own wedding and would you spend the money the same.
Post # 6
I’m the same way. My goal is to keep it around 20K even though they offered more, and FI and I are paying for whatever we can. I do a lot online research to find the best prices so that helps me feel more in control of the spending, rather than pulling out the wallet at every chance.
ETA: There are a few blogger bees who don’t have a set ‘budget’ too. I think Mrs. Turkey is one of them, if that helps.
Post # 7
I would do a little excel spreadsheet breaking out food, Dj/band, flowers, etc etc and show your parents what it looks like you guys are projecting. And see if it looks okay and see how they want to pay for things (write their own checks, give you a seperate wedding CC, have a wedding checking account). My mom was sort of our of the loop on how expensive things were so doesn’t hurt to let them know
Post # 8
estemate a budget, give yourself a budget. I cant imagine trying to plan a wedding with out abudget, so easy to get carried away… Good luck, its so nice of your parents to be willing to give so much, just keep track of it all
Post # 9
I can totally sympathize. Everytime I asked if we were going to decide on a budget, my fiance and parents both said “We’ll figure it out…”. Well, let me tell you, we never did and now the wedding is a month away! All along I have been worrying and trying to keep things on the lower-side but without a budget I have no idea what amount we are at right now, and my general estimate is terrifying! All I can tell you is to keep an eye on things and know that they wouldn’t be offering to pay if they didn’t want to! Good luck!
Post # 10
I wasn’t given a budget for my wedding and my parents paid for pretty much all of it. That being said, during my engagement I was traveling quite a bit for work and my mom planned much of the wedding, asking for input where she needed it. So it’s not like *I* was spending their money, they were pretty much spending it.
Anyway, they were kind of like yours if there was something I really wanted – kind of a “well, let’s look into it.”
Post # 11
That is kind of how ours is. My parents asked for a number from me about what I thought I could plan my wedding with and feel like I am able to get the most important things on my “want list”. I told them and we all agreed on $20k. As of now it is slightly over (2k), but I am going to try to cut back on stuff if I can to get it back down around $20k, but my Dad has been great and I keep them very in the loop about where the money is going, and the breakdown of the budget etc. I told him that it looks like it may be slightly over and he tells me not to worry. At the same time, my FI said if need be we will pay the difference in things that we may want then we will do that. So I get the “don’t worry about it we will figure it out and make it work” stuff too, but I feel super super blessed and I know I will never be able to thank my parents enough for giving me my dream wedding.
I think even if you aren’t given a set budget, you still KNOW what you can spend. So there is an unspoken budget, I wouldn’t imagine if you aren’t given a budget you are just going to go crazy and spend money you know you don’t have.
Post # 12
my parents sort of did the same thing. They said they were thinking around 25K. Im going a bit over, but my parents are really understanding of it because they know Ive tried really hard to stay at that number, I’ve done things to keep costs down and Ive even argued with vendors when I felt like they were trying to cheat me.
Post # 13
Ha, yes my parents did the same thing and I’m currently $13,000 OVER what I was originally wanted to be at. I wish I was more strict with myself as I’m having major guilt. But I know my parents can easily afford this and will not be going into debt or really making any sacrifices to pay for it as they are quite well-off. But I still feel guilty.
Post # 14
Your parents gave you a number so you DO have a budget. Unless you’re willing to throw in your own money to bump it up, I’d stick with what they’ve offered.
Post # 15
We don’t really have a budget either. My parents gave us $20k plus my mom is paying for my dress, veil, headband, hair/makeup etc. My FI’s parents paid for our honeymoon, transportation and flowers. FI and I have enough cash for any other extras we want/need. I’m not the type to do DIY and I have just bought/booked any and everything we want for the wedding. I’m not going over board but I’m also not skimping because we have the money so why not?
Post # 16
My parents paid for our wedding with DH’s parents paying for the alcohol. When I asked my dad for a dollar amount to stay under, he said “I know that you will not go anywhere near the number I have in my head. Just keep me up to date on the budget, and if you are getting close, I’ll let you know.”
My parent’s are used to going to weddings for their friend’s children that are well over 6 figures. However, my dad knows that 1) I am extremely frugal (cheap) so I always look for the best deals and shop around a ton and 2) I don’t have expensive taste (I’d rather something look expensive than be expensive). So he know that I could/would get everything I wanted without going overboard.
Example: When I went dress shopping with my mom, the sales consoltant asked what our budget was. I told them $1,000. My mom turned to me and said “why did you give them a budget so low? We would pay more than that if you found a dress that you liked.” It just never occured to spend more than $1,000 on a dress. I knew I could find a dress for that amount that I loved, so why spend more?