No card box or gift table… Is this ok?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Hmmm….I wouldn’t register at all if you’re not comfortable with it. 

Some people will still bring cards. I understand that you don’t want to look like you’re expecting it but I would try to be prepared. How about grabbing a bag and throwing it behind your table just in case?

Post # 4
Member
2341 posts
Buzzing bee

I would still have *somewhere* that guests could place a card or girft should they bring it. Will you be having a guestbook? Or ebven a table with a framed pic of you guys?

Post # 5
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Yeah, I feel you. We had a small wedding (immediate family only) with a large casual reception the week after. My mom insisted on having a place for gifts/cards at the reception, but I made sure it was really understated and kind of off to the side. On the other hand, everyone brought a card, so it was good that we had a place!

We did not register. Some people seemed a little bemused, but I just kept repeating my “We’re having such a small wedding, we’re not expecting gifts at all!” mantra, and I think it was fine.

Post # 6
Member
7397 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@soinlove79:  We had a DW and when asked said no gifts. We did not have a card box or gift table. We jst put the cards in a bag that my mum looked after. Since we provided all the transport on the day as well a lot of people just gave us cards in the limo bus back to the accommodations and a few just gave it to us back home or the next day.

Post # 8
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

@soinlove79:  It will not in the least be “wierd” to eschew having a gift table. In fact (by my stuffy formal standards) it is “wierd” or at least declasse to put out an obvious signal that you are a) expecting tribute and b) facilitating the ostentation of gift-givers who want to show off how generous they are by giving you big boxes in public.

You do need to be prepared that some people may want to flaunt their gifts by bringing them to your wedding instead of delivering them to your home as is proper. Any gifts brought to the ceremony should be handed off to one of the staff to be discretely whisked out of sight and tucked away in a secure closet or storage place for you to pick up and transport after the wedding. That is the correct way for the hostess to handle other people’s faux pas, whether or not the wedding is a destination wedding.

Post # 9
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

we did not have a gift table. We did have a card box, and I personally think that you will need one also. Even if every person brings just a card of well wishes and no gift, you will be asking someone to carry around a small stack of cards.

Post # 10
Member
1681 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@soinlove79: I think a just card box would be fine. If I were attending a destination wedding, even if it were expensive. I would surely put $50 or so in a card. Even if it’s just a gift card for dinner!

Post # 11
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wasn’t planning to have either and my wedding is local.  Is this really necessary?

Post # 13
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think guests will still bring cards just to congratulate you, and that doesn’t necessarily mean they will include cash. It might be more convenient to have somewhere obvious for guests to put them rather than to have multiple family members and attendants worrying about holding on to them for you.

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