Post # 1
We are having a small destination wedding where I 100% do not expect a soul attending to come bearing gifts. Truly and honestly BUT is it wierd not to provide a location for gifts? In the off chance that someone brings even just a congrats card, can’t we just hang on to it ( moms purse etc…) without it being odd? I am the type who always is a people pleaser so on the one hand, I would never want to put a box out for “cards” that I do not expect and would probably make me feel bad as a destination guest if I didn’t bring anything but on the other hand wouldn’t want someone to actually feel awkward because they brought a gift and it has nowhere specific to go. Maybe I am over thinking but I also am having the same issue with registering. We don’t want to and have people assume we are expecting gifts but others not attending destination are asking where we are registered and that would be accommodating to them when and if they wanted to buy something. I’m probably talking in circles but thoughts are appreciated 🙂
Post # 3
Hmmm….I wouldn’t register at all if you’re not comfortable with it.
Some people will still bring cards. I understand that you don’t want to look like you’re expecting it but I would try to be prepared. How about grabbing a bag and throwing it behind your table just in case?
Post # 4
I would still have *somewhere* that guests could place a card or girft should they bring it. Will you be having a guestbook? Or ebven a table with a framed pic of you guys?
Post # 5
Yeah, I feel you. We had a small wedding (immediate family only) with a large casual reception the week after. My mom insisted on having a place for gifts/cards at the reception, but I made sure it was really understated and kind of off to the side. On the other hand, everyone brought a card, so it was good that we had a place!
We did not register. Some people seemed a little bemused, but I just kept repeating my “We’re having such a small wedding, we’re not expecting gifts at all!” mantra, and I think it was fine.
Post # 6
@soinlove79: We had a DW and when asked said no gifts. We did not have a card box or gift table. We jst put the cards in a bag that my mum looked after. Since we provided all the transport on the day as well a lot of people just gave us cards in the limo bus back to the accommodations and a few just gave it to us back home or the next day.
Post # 7
Thanks for responding, a little bag may do it. I can keep it discreet hopefully.
@Nic01: thanks for responding, the private room only will have space for cake table and 2 long dinner tables and no guest book or anything. I hope nobody shows up with anything bigger than a card( if that)… that will be awkward:)
Post # 8
@soinlove79: It will not in the least be “wierd” to eschew having a gift table. In fact (by my stuffy formal standards) it is “wierd” or at least declasse to put out an obvious signal that you are a) expecting tribute and b) facilitating the ostentation of gift-givers who want to show off how generous they are by giving you big boxes in public.
You do need to be prepared that some people may want to flaunt their gifts by bringing them to your wedding instead of delivering them to your home as is proper. Any gifts brought to the ceremony should be handed off to one of the staff to be discretely whisked out of sight and tucked away in a secure closet or storage place for you to pick up and transport after the wedding. That is the correct way for the hostess to handle other people’s faux pas, whether or not the wedding is a destination wedding.
Post # 9
we did not have a gift table. We did have a card box, and I personally think that you will need one also. Even if every person brings just a card of well wishes and no gift, you will be asking someone to carry around a small stack of cards.
Post # 10
@soinlove79: I think a just card box would be fine. If I were attending a destination wedding, even if it were expensive. I would surely put $50 or so in a card. Even if it’s just a gift card for dinner!
Post # 11
I wasn’t planning to have either and my wedding is local. Is this really necessary?
Post # 12
@aspasia475: thanks!, good to know. Maybe my planner can be on the look out to take anything away from the room. I really hope people will not bring large items… I mean besides nowhere to place it, getting it home would be a hassle.
@OnceUponATime: yeah, I think I would too if I were attending. That’s what I’m afraid of But maybe something discreet wouldn’t make people feel like they should of.
Post # 13
I think guests will still bring cards just to congratulate you, and that doesn’t necessarily mean they will include cash. It might be more convenient to have somewhere obvious for guests to put them rather than to have multiple family members and attendants worrying about holding on to them for you.