Post # 1
I have no plans on doing any centrepieces. The banquet hall does not supply them. And I may get a decorator to come in and decorate the place, however I don’t want to pay extra for centerpieces. I don’t think people actually remember them. They add a certain ‘pizaaz’ to the party but they are otherwise unnecessary and just take up table space.
On the same note, I also do not plan on doing favours. Isn’t it a favour enough that I am throwing a huge, expensive party for YOU?! I obviously don’t need the party to actually GET married! So duh! Who the eff do you think is this HUGE ASS favour for!? If you graced me with your presence, I will thank you verbally with heartfelt emotions for supporting me. But I still don’t feel that favours are necessary.
Is this wrong by any means!? If I don’t want to do this, will it really kill the guests!? (My side of the family doesn’t care for this stuff, but his does.)
My MIL has been bitching about how we NEED both. Just like how we always NEED to spend a ton of OUR money on all kinds of nonsense. She is not shelling out anything. Even when she goes grocery shopping with FI for her stuff, he ends up paying! (Normally I wouldn’t mind but she tends to waste a LOT of money. It is not like a normal person grocery shopping spree.) Anyway, she has bought me a veil and bouquet which I did not ask for AT ALL. I asked to repay her but she got it dirt cheap in the first place from a friend overseas.
Sorry ladies, there is so much I want to say to her that includes more four letter words than actual dicepherable sentences. But at the same time I want to keep the peace until the wedding. My Fiance’s family is very volatile and can be trusted to embarrass you. ((sigh))
*runs around collecting bee hugs*
Post # 3
You definitely don’t need favors, a lot of people don’t do them. I kinda like centerpieces, but it’s your wedding, lol, do what you want to!
Post # 4
*HUG* I agree I dont think favors are necessary at all and centerpieces can add or take away from a venue. I think we have all seen those huge over the top ones where you couldn’t even see the person across from you. And if you are paying for it then guess what your deceission end of story. And if you weren’t paying for it, it is still YOUR wedding and your opinion that matters and what you and your FI want. Future in laws can be a lot to take on. Take a deep breathe a remember that this will all pass hopefully 😉 *HUG* again!!!
Post # 5
@irishbride2be: “this will all pass”
Yes, that is my saving grace!!!
Post # 6
i may rethink the centerpeice idea – just because it does give the extra spark to the room and you can do them inexpensively – but the favors – nix them – i made some awesome favors and by the end of the night + tons of drinks – everyone forgot them – i gave 2 boxes to my MIL and kept some for us. 150 champagne flutes down the drain.
Post # 7
Before the wedding, my MIL was aghast that I did not want special champagne flutes (despite the fact that she believes that if you drink you will go to hell). Anyway, I told her that I did not want them and that I thought it was a silly thing to spend money on, but that if she felt like we had to have them, I would use ones if she bought them. She ended up dropping it, and we just ended up using the same ones as everyone else.
Good luck! and *hugs!*
Post # 8
@Sasha2011: oh this sucks!!! what about meeting her halfway (or more do something to shut her up) and just put three candles in the centre of the table!! cheap easy, “romantic” and the next time she says something about centerpieces say you have some now!! *laugh*
Lterally do this sans mirror and flowers!! (you could do it al the dollar store and be done with it!!)
Post # 9
i agree with @bailyh — you could put a bunch of cheap candles in the middle of the table and it would still be beautiful and romantic and not cost a lot at all! you can get tealights at Ikea for super cheap.
and i agree with you on the favor thing, i am not doing them either. our favor is paying for everyone’s dinner, alcohol, dessert, and candy! we are also letting them get 2 hours of viewing time at the museum *which is our reception venue*
try and meet her in the middle and fnid a cheap alternative to the traditional centerpiece
Post # 10
I don’t think you NEED centerpieces. However if you’re not going to have much in the way of place settings on the tables, they may look sort of bare – which is fine if you’re cool with it, don’t do anything you don’t WANT to do.
I think you could do something really simple if you decided you wanted them. Some people do framed photos or candles or even just random assortments of things (like teacups and books).
Favors are a definite extra. I don’t think they’re necessary and mostly will probably go to waste if they’re not something edible (unless they’re something REALLY nice and useful). I’d much rather someone save their money then give me a candle or something with their wedding date and names plastered all over it.
Post # 11
You dont have to give out favors like pp have said these are just an extra, But I dont think you arent doing them a favor by throwing the party for them, Your are throwing the party for yourself and they are doing you a favor by showing up. If no one showed up it would be pretty miserable. But again you dont have to give favors.
centerpieces definitely add to the table, you can do something really simple or just tie some ribbon on your table card holders.
Post # 12
As the pp’s have said you absolutely don’t need favors. And, as the bride and groom, the two of you can do whatever you want.
Personally, I think your dinner tables will look more like a business banquet without some sort of table decor-again, that’s your choice.
I do think though, that this would be an easy area for you to give your MIL what she wants and start blending into your FI’s family.
If you are going to do candles, please do something a little more substantial than 3 tealights. That would look like somebody forgot the centerpiece.
There have been many inexpensive centerpieces discussed in past posts.
I love the look of a stack of either old books with interesting covers, or books with a brown kraft paper book cover, then a candle, sprig of greenery or berries or knick nack on top. You can pick up the old books at thrift stores for next to nothing, get books from the free bin at most booksellers if you are going to cover them, check out garage sales etc.
If books aren’t your thing there are lots of other great ideas out there.
Post # 13
Yeah, I’m doing piles of books tied with ribbons. If I didn’t also have candles, this would be free.
Post # 14
I don’t think favors are necessary.
But FYI-The party isn’t for the guests,it’s for the bride and groom. So you aren’t doing a favor by having a party for them. Believe me.
Post # 15
Here is another simple possibility if you decide to meet her halfway. I agree with what other have said though, I don’t think favors are necessary-people always forget them/leave them behind.
Post # 16
I agree – no favors needed.
I like the idea of the simple candles (votives, not tealights) but perhaps 5 per table.
or… we attended a wedding last year where they had a simple vase on each table (think dollar store) with a single carnation in each one. I can’t imagine that would cost very much. You could do daisies for inexpensive as well.
Bottom line though – if you don’t want them, don’t have them. It’s YOUR wedding.