Post # 1
FI and I are Jewish and Catholic, respectively, and wanted to do an interfaith ceremony. Only a small percentage of religious officiants are willing to do this, so we knew it would be hard to find one. What we didn’t know is how much it would cost. Apparently, because the market for interfaith officiants is nearly a monopoly (only a few options in each area), people charge ridiculous prices for the service. The rabbi alone gave us a quote of $900 for the ceremony. We don’t know how much a priest would have been because we stopped looking at that point.
It seems patently clear to me that the costs to a rabbi for officiating at a ceremony are nowhere near $900. These aren’t like photographers with fixed costs of equipment that rely on weddings for a living. These are people with full-time jobs at their places of worship who have theoretically dedicated their lives to following God. I’m pretty sure God does NOT approve of the scalping of brides and grooms who dare fall in love with someone not of their religion.
If FI and I got married at my family’s church, we would have had to pay a couple hundred dollars max as a donation. But because we are interfaith and want an interfaith ceremony, it’s not an option. Does anyone else think it incredibly sad that interfaith brides on a budget are priced out of the right to have a religious ceremony? Isn’t it slightly immoral to charge so much for a religious, rather than commercial, service? Or am I missing something?
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Post # 3
Goodness… that is not right. And you’re absolutely right: there is no justification for charging more. If the justification is that they have moral qualms about it, perhaps they ought not perform the services.
This is sad! I hope you find something that suits you. Good luck and best wishes to you!!!
Post # 4
Is there any way that you can have a non religious officiant who could do an interfaith ceremony? That is ridiculous that he quoted $900. What about an interfaith ceremony would cost that much extra?
Post # 5
wowwww. thats so unfortunate. maybe, as missasb said, you could find someone who isnt necessarily affiliated with the religions but who would be willing to incorporate traditions from both faiths into the ceremony? or get someone you know to get ordained?
edited to change ass to as, hahaha
Post # 6
That is so wrong! I would check for some other type of officiant who would be willing to do the inter-faith wedding. I’m sure there are ways that you can incorporate both your religions without breaking the bank. Don’t get discouraged! It may just take a little extra research to find someone who will work for you guys!
Post # 7
Can you try a nonreligious officiant? Or perhaps expand the search? I feel like there’s got to be someone who will marry you for a reasonable price.
Post # 8
((HUGS)) I have seen sometimes where both faiths are represented in the ceremony even though the marriage is performed by a rabbi, a minister, or a priest…
Post # 9
WHen my sister got married (BIL is Jewish) I recall my sister also having a difficult time finding someone to perform their interfaith ceremony, with the cost especially being the issue. It’s been some time but I want to say they had a minister and a cantor(??? I hope I’m right on this, I know he wasn’t a rabbi , I don’t mean to offend anyone if I’m way wrong) perform the ceremony. Is this an option? The minister was willing to do the ceremony and their other officiant had actually written a wonderful ceremony- it as full of brief explanations of every part so all in attendance knew what was going on.
Post # 10
Yep. It’s incredibly, horribly, PAINFULLY sad and I empathize with your situation. I really, really hope you find someone to perform your ceremony. I think it would be beautiful!
Post # 11
I was going to come back and say what lkb said, just have two! It may be cheaper, and would even BETTER represent your individual religions. Good luck!
Post # 12
Time to get a different officant! Found ours on the net. I bet if you do a search at a website that features wedding vendors in your area, you can find someone to do the ceremony any way you want.Ours was a mix of Unitarian, Native American and wiccan. And our officant cost $425!
Post # 13
Hey, I just noticed that you are getting married in Philly. The service I used is a beautiful affair of the heart. Check them out at http://www.abeautifulaffairoftheheart.com/
Click on types of ceremonies – they do interfaith ones!
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I talked to a rabbi that was charging $1,000… NOT to co-officiate. It would have been the same if there were another person participating in the ceremony (no co-officiation allowed for most rabbis… I am not sure how any of them actually get around that). I would look for one person who would be willing and able to represent both of your faiths in your ceremony.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Our rabbi’s charging us $600 and that’s for a regular Jewish ceremony…Sounds like you’re $900 was a bit high but it’s not totally off-base…I’m sorry it’s been so hard to find someone will to perform an interfaith ceremony, that is not right…
Post # 16
$900 for a Rabbi is ridiculous!
I am a Catholic bride, and my fiance is Jewish. We are getting married in the suburbs of Philadelphia in Sept 2010. We couldn’t find a Rabbi to co-officiate, so we just got a Cantor from a synagogue (Cantors have the power to marry in the Jewish faith), and I am in the process of getting a priest to perform the Christian portion of the ceremony. Our Cantor is a friend of a friend, and her fee is $500. The priest will be $650.00.
Please contact Rabbi Berris of the Interfaith Clergy in New Jersey. He will provide you with names of interfaith clergy in the Philly area who can handle it for you. The email is [email protected]. The phone number is 856-779-0017.
The Interfaith Network’s fees for 2010 ceremonies: one clergy is $650.00, for TWO clergy it’s $1,000. So you’re basically going to get TWO clergy for the cost of what that one Rabbi wanted to charge you. (That Rabbi should be ashamed of himself).
Oh, and I think another person mentioned Journeys of the Heart. A friend of mine, who also had a Jewish/Catholic ceremony- used one of their interfaith ministers- a woman named Miki Young, and she was wonderful. http://www.journeysoftheheart.org/
One more resource for Catholic/Jewish couples that I cannot say enough about is a book called “Celebrating Interfaith Marriages: Creating Your Jewish/Christian Ceremony” by Rabbi Devon Lerner. It is a MUST have book for those who are trying to plan a wonderful interfaith ceremony.