Post # 1
I am not remotely interested in 100+ of our family and friends watching me walk down an isle, pretty sure my anxiety would not take well to that.
We are planning to elope, with our parents/siblings.
However what I would love to do is plan a beach day/food/games/music/ so forth type of reception.. I just am not sure what to put on the invites so people understand it will be a casual day of fun/friends/family.
My FIs family owns a ton of beach front land, so we will be having the reception there, it is about a 3 min walk to the beach from where the tents/tables/food would be set up.
We are planning on BBQ food, I am looking at having a food truck come out for a few hours, a smores station, salad station, as well as a ton of beverage options. We are renting a tent to fit 100, with a few tables outside to enjoy the weather.
Where I need help is with the wording of the invite, as well as some ideas for what should be included for the day, ie, games, food items, so forth.
Post # 3
I’m not entirely sure how one would word an invitation to a wedding reception minus the wedding. It’s fine if you don’t want the wedding or want something small and intimate, but in the same vein, you give up the big reception after. It seems gift-grabby to me to turn around and have a big party to celebrate the wedding that you didn’t invite your family and friends to.
Post # 4
I’m assuming you want something more informal. I’d go with something along the lines of this:
Your name and SOs name
were married in a private ceremony
on ___ (date).
Please join in celebrating their marriage
at a beachfront BBQ
Date and Time
Please RSVP to ___ no later than ___.
Post # 5
@iiiEllie: It is not uncommon to invite friends and family to attend a joyous celebration of a marriage when they were not invited to the ceremony itself. It happens under different circumstances- the couple’s families live far apart and they want to celebrate with both, they had a small, intimate closest family only ceremony, the wedding takes place overseas, the ceremony is done on an urgent basis because someone in the family is ill etc – so don’t listen to the naysayers. People will just be happy for you.
The pp has given you a sample for appropriate wording. You can always include an information card to let them know to dress casually, bring bathing suits, the length of the celebration – whatever is pertinent.
On April 15, 2010
In a sunset ceremony on St. John
Sean Mack and Elizabeth Swank
became husband and wife
Please join them in a beach BBQ celebration
July 10, 2010
Post # 6
@iiiEllie: I think if you call it a celebration of your marriage and not a reception then you are fine.
@jbh13: +1 on the wording here.
I do agree with Abbie that it could appear gift-grabby to call it a reception, or to participate in any of the traditional pre-wedding parties like bridal showers, etc.
I think it’s fine to host your friends and family in a low key celebration to acknowledge your marriage.
Post # 7
We aren’t planning on a pre-wedding party, or a bridal shower either.. I just want a low key fun event for our family and friends to come to. That’s why I asked for help with the wording, we don’t want it to be a formal event for the wedding. Nor do we expect or want gifts.. If I could sign papers and not even elope to be married we’d be doing that instead.
The focus is on people coming if they feel like it for a fun day together, family reunion type event, more than a wedding reception. I had no idea how to word it.
Post # 8
PPs gave great advice on wording. I just wanted to say that this sounds fabulous!!
Post # 9
@julies1949: Thank you. 🙂 That is a huge help.
We aren’t expecting people to bring us gifts, we just want our family/friends around to have a great day outdoors with us, something where my anxiety doesn’t ruin the day for me.
Post # 10
We’re having a private ceremony, but are inviting guests to the reception. I’m thinking something along the lines of “We regret that we cannot accommodate everyone at the wedding ceremony, but would like to invite you to a celebration of our marriage.” We’re also thinking of having several parties leading up to the wedding day as well.
Post # 11
This is very similar to what we are doing. As you’ve seen from a couple responses, you aren’t going to please everyone. I don’t think it is “gift grabby” and to suggest that it’s gift grabby to approach it this way versus spending 25k on a wedding that you don’t really want is a bit crazy to me and a large part of why the bridal industry makes me want to scream.
Do you. You have some good advice here on how to word-I’m thinking (and posted) about the same exact thing right now.
Post # 12
1. I saw the photos, and immediately thought of my family’s land in Nova Scotia near Pugwash, so I scrolled up and saw that it’s PEI! Must be on the south side, I’ll wave next time I’m up there.
2. I think the wording along the lines of:
Please join us on
Day, month, year
for a Beach BBQ
celebrating the marriage
Mrs. iiiEllie & Mr. iiiEllie
who were wed in a private ceremony
day month year
It will be a great time! Maybe have some bocce courts mowed down, bean bags/cornhole games set up, and definitely some room for dancing!
Depending on our vacation schedules, we may be having a similar celebration for the Canadian family members & family friends that we couldn’t invite down to our Houston wedding. We got engaged up there last summer, and everyone was asking if we were going to have a celebratory shindig this coming summer for the Shore friends!
Post # 13
@nadnuk: South shore is right! 🙂
Thank you for the wording as well, love the game ideas!
@jj0313: Thank you! I was a bit shocked by those responses as well, was a little unsure why it was gift grabby to want a killer outdoor party with our friends and family, haha.