Post # 1
Bees I’m embarassed to say this, but I have no one else to ask to be a bridesmaid. We originally agreed on 3 (as we didn’t want a huge party). FI had no issues finding guys, so he already knows 3 he wants.
I have my MOH who is my best friend, and my FSIL as a bridesmaid. I wanted to have 3 as well, but now I’m realizing I have literally no one else to ask. I originally had one girl in mind who knows both of us, but everytime I ask her if she wants to do something, she either never replies or is always busy. Basically, I gave up hope trying to ask her and I feel like she would say no anyway.
I’m not having any bridal showers, bachelorette parties, etc. and I’m letting my girls wear whatever dress they want so I feel like it shouldn’t be this hard to find someone. My MOH lives 5 hours away, so we only see each other a few times a year unfortunately. I literally never hang out with anyone other then FI and his friends. Embarassing, I know. I throw myself into my work (I have 4 jobs right now) to keep me busy. I’ve tried making friends, but it always ends up being that they’re busy, or never get back to me so I just don’t try anymore. I have no sisters and no female cousins.
I tried asking FI if we could cut down the party to 2 on each side so it wouldn’t look pathetic, but he refuses. Should I have our 5 year old flower girl serve as a 3rd bridesmaid too? I’m aware I sound depressing/desperate, but this is putting a whole damper on the wedding. How do you make friends when you approach your late 20s?! Blah.
Post # 2
Please don’t feel bad about this – you can just have uneven sides, no one will think about it! Better to have less people that mean something to you, than trying to squeeze in additional ones just for the sake of a number. If I were you I would just stick with the two girls you’ve already asked, then you can have your little girl as your flower girl.
For reference, we had two brides maids and one best man and I’ve never looked back a second on our choices.
Oh, and you can add friends your entire life – age doesn’t matter! A fairly easy way to meet new people is to engage in a new hobby, then everyone share the same interest and you can work on it from there.
Post # 3
Just have uneven sides, I have 3 and my FI has 2 – we just asked who we wanted.
Post # 4
Do you fiance’s groomsmen have any wifes/girlfriends that you get on with well? If so, could ask one of them to be a bridesmaid? Or just keep the sides uneven, I don’t supose anyone would even notice.
And it’s not embarassing. After leaving college I lost touch with all my friends due to us all going off into different diretctions. So, like you, the only people I talk to outside of family is OH’s friends.
Post # 5
Uneven sides is fine IMO. Could you just have one of the groomsmen walk down with your mom, assuming you’ll be walking with your dad?
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - Villa Celeste
I agree completely with PP. I don’t think anyone will think a thing of it. Most people don’t tend to notice the little things we freak out about. You seem very stretched thin already (4 jobs? I’m thoroughly impressed) so my advice would be to not let this stress you out even more.
I’m not having a bridal party, and my FI isn’t have groomsmen. But even if we were, I probably wouldn’t have more than 3 women I would really want to ask. So don’t sweat it.
Post # 7
Don’t feel bad! I have 3 on my side and FI has SIX. Have who is important to you up there. No one will judge.
Post # 8
don’t feel bad it is ok to have uneven sides. and i don’t have many friends either, i say quality over quantitiy. DH on the other hand has a million friends and collects them where ever he goes.
i had 3 girls and my brother on my side, DH had 5 friends on his side. he wanted more, but i told him 5 was plenty.
Post # 9
Aw! Don’t feel bad! This really doesn’t have to be an issue! My husband and I had uneven bridal parties and it wasn’t a problem at all! And I even had guys and girls on my side without any issue. I thik it’s far better to have uneven sides than to invite someone that you aren’t really close with to be a bridesmaid. Honestly, I think uneven sides are pretty common now, so I don’t think anyone will think twice about it!
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
lonelybridetobee: Firstly, it doesn’t matter if you have uneven numbers. I am having uneven. FI’s sister had uneven. A few others also had uneven. Have you thought about asking a guy to be a BM? You don’t have to have another female. 🙂 And, BTW, it will not look pathetic!
Post # 11
I have 3 “close” friends and my fiance literally has none! My girls will still be my bridesmaids though. They will walk down the aisle and then sit. It will just be me and my fiance at the altar!! You could do that if you really are worried about uneven sides.
Post # 12
You don’t have to match! If people even notice, the only thing they are going to think is that you just didnt have a third that you wanted to stand up there. They are not goign to sit there thinking omg she has no friends. You should do what you are comfortable with, don’t find a third random person just so your sides are even.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2014 - The Meeting House/DoubleTree by Hilton
lonelybridetobee: Aww, don’t feel bad! Uneven numbers are totally fine and no one is going to look at your bridal party and start thinking that you don’t have friends or anything like that. Just do what you’re comfortable with and don’t force yourself to choose a third – that person is going to be in your wedding pictures for years to come!
I was a bridesmaid two years ago and the bride had 4 girls while the groom had 5 guys. We went in height order, so all the other girls were paired with one guy and I was paired with two. We all laughed about it and had a good time (and went I missed a step and almost fell, I luckily had two guys holding me up!) – it was not a big deal at all. Don’t stress!!
ETA – If you want to make new friends in your area, you could try meetup.com. You find groups based on your interests and then join events those groups have planned. Even if you don’t love the groups, you might find new people who can introduce you to other new people. A lot of the groups I tried were late 20s/early 30s and they were all looking for new friends, so I think that you would fit right in 🙂