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I'm just wondering, is it ok if we don't give them corsages? The wedding party is small. His best man is his dad, and other than that there are not going to be any groomsmen. I have 2 bridesmaids. His dad will have a boutoniere and of course so will he, and my bridesmaids will have pomander ball bouquets. Would it be ok to just leave it at that? Or are the mothers SUPPOSED to have corsages? I'm confused about this...
It looks like you and I are getting married in the same month!
I actually wasnt planning on doing any flowers for anyone excet for the boutineers and my little bouquet and the bm (all flowers probably coming from sams the day before the wedding)
But now that i see that youre considering this, i say its okay! Its a nice gesture, but since your wedding is fairly small i dont see what the big deal would be, and my wedding is also small so im pretty sure ill do without corsages for them... Its just one less thing to worry about i think
Traditionally, the mothers do get corsages. I wonder if they will feel slighted without them. I say go ahead and do them if you can, even if its just something simple.
I agree that maybe you should try to do something really simple. Its just a way to honor them and they may feel upset if they dont get them. Usually they are not very expensive at all. It might be better to cut something else out so you do not hurt anyones feelings. If you are extremely tight with budget and can not afford them, I would talk it over with them.
I think it is totally okay as I hate corsages, but they might not feel the same. If my grandparents didn't get corsages my mother would have a freak out, so I can't imagine what she would do if she and FI's mum didn't get one. At my florist, I think corsages are about $15 if you go with the simple ones, so it shouldn't be that much.
I think that you should get them corsages. Since the wedding party is already small, it won't add to your prices that much. I think it is a good gesture so that they stick out from the rest of the guests.
We only had flowers for the wedding party. His mom felt that corsages looked dated, and didn't want one and his dad didn't care if he had a bout or not. My mom wasn't there, and we don't have any grandparents. But we would have done them if they wanted - luckily, they didn't because I'm not crazy about them either.
This caused so many problems with FMIL but if the they don't have a problem with it then I don't think you have to do it.
I'm considering giving them nice pins/brooches instead of corsages, because I'm not a huge fan of corsages. They would be able to keep it as a momento of the day (and my mom wears pins all the time, so I know she would like it). But I am concerned about the grandmothers being offended if they don't get the traditional corsage. But I definitely would not leave the mothers without anything.
Another thought- how big is your wedding? Corsages and bouts make it easy for guests to be able to identify the mothers and fathers if they haven't met them before.
I would ask the moms how they feel about not having them. If they won't be offended, then I say leave them out.
Thanks for all the advice ladies! It looks like we are 50/50 on this! Some of you say yes and some of you say no lol. I think I will do what some of you have suggested and talk to the moms first. I know his mom is pretty down to earth and casual, and so is mine, so I don't think either one of them will feel left out of they don't get them...but I'll go ahead and ask just in case.
A simple coursage won't cost much at all and it serves to set your immediate family apart from all the other guests... kind of "guests of honor." I think they might feel hurt if you didn't give them coursages.
I agree you should definitely talk to the mom's first! You don't want the mom's to feel slighted... it's such a small gesture w/ a big impact!
I'm kind of in the same boat- except I don't want our grandparents to wear flowers. We're having a smaller wedding (under 100 people) and between our parents & wedding party, a quarter of our guests will end up wearing flowers! I hate that idea...
@recessionista- you could give the grandmothers embroidered hankies or something, so they know they are special.
not to hijack the thread but....
@jacqui: That's a great idea!! Thank you :)
For our wedding, his mother wasn't there (she passed away) but we did get my mother a corsage. She ended up taking it off halfway through the reception. I noticed her continually fiddling with it and asked if it was making her uncomfortable. She asked if I would mind if she took it off, and of course I didn't.
Long story short - maybe ask them if they really want to wear them. Not everyone likes corsages.
We did single red roses for the mothers and grandmothers to carry, it worked out really well.
Hey that's a great idea about just doing the single rose thing! That way they have something nice to keep and hold onto, but they don't have to wear it AND it will be slightly cheaper :)
Thanks ladies! I'm so glad I found this website :)
Neither of our moms cared very much, so we didn't do it. Just ask your guys' moms how they feel. I don't really like the look of corsages anyway - they seem to prom-y to me. I think a single rose would be a sweet idea though!
We are doing corsages for the grandmothers, but I'm letting my mom and FMIL decide if they want flowers or not. For my brother's wedding, they had these little silver holders that held a small bouquet of flowers that had a little flat stand bottom so that they could set them on the table during the reception. Then, they had the little holder to use as a bud vase as a memento.
And it doesn't have to be this pin on corsage either. It can be a nosegay or the sigle rose idea, previously mentioned. Why do the dads get bouts, then? I think ultimately, it would be wise to have something for the moms. Especially you mom, if your dad has something. And especially FI's mom,since well, it's a nice gesture for the FILs. (And easy for the parents of the groom to feel knd of left out of the whole process.)
Even if the moms, think the corsages are stuffy, you could gift them with something else.
Yeah, my mom was the one who told me to skip the corsages and bouts, but when I mentioned this to my stepmom, I saw some uncertainty so I decided to go ahead and get them so nobodys feelings will be hurt. Best to skip the drama!
We're not doing them b/c I hate the dead booby flower look. My mom is fine without having one (actually I think she's happy).
i'm not a fan of corsages, so i was going to get them both nosegays. but then i realized that they were recieving single roses during the ceremony, and that a nosegay and a single rose would look foolish when they were walking back up the aisle.
i just left it at the single roses...and i think everyone was happy.
We are not doing them. My mom doesnt want one because she thinks they look to prom-y or old fashioned. His mom kind of wanted one, but when we told her my mom didnt want one, she thought it would look odd for only her to have one. My dad will be getting a bout since he is walking me down the aisle.
To those that say they look dated: We are doing the corsages on each mother's clutch rather than pinned on their shoulder or on their wrist. I think it will look great and very updated!
We didn't do corsages for either of our moms or grandmas and there were no issues with it. My mom was really adamant about not wanting one (she felt a wrist corsage felt like Prom and didn't want to pin anything to her dress). We also DIYed our flowers, so we didn't really know how to make our own corsages. In the end, no one mentioned it and was kind of a non-issue.
My FMIL requested that we not do real flower corsages for her since at my FSIL's wedding they got crushed with all the hugging and barely lasted into the reception. We are going to come up with a crafty alternative of something non-crushable.
Well, I talked to my mom about it already (still have to talk to his) and she said that she would rather have a corsage than have to carry around a single rose all night, which is what I wanted to do for them. So I guess they get corsages. I don't know how to make them either, so I am buying pre-made silk ones with white roses that match my bouquet. They don't look too bad, plus I don't have to make them lol. They won't be on their wrists they will be pinned to their dresses.
I DON'T like corsages for the moms, call me weird lol If you want just give flowers to the wedding party....If you don't give to any of the moms I don't think they will get offended. To me corsages look tacky but then again is a tradition.....that I refuse to follow ;)
I would rather not give them honestly, but... I don't want them to feel left out...
I hope they don't look tacky!
i didn't think my mom would be into them, but she was with me when i ordered my flowers so i asked her, and she got really excited about them, and really excited to give some to my grandmas, so i'm glad i asked.
I was wondering the same thing! I'm not a big fan of corsages, and didn't know if I had to get them one! Glad you asked this :)
I feel like it's not really a sacred tradition (just personal opinion!) and that as long as in-laws and parents do not feel offended for not having the flowers, it isn't something really noticeable either since it is relatively small. just my personal opinion~ :)
We aren't planning on doing flowers for anyone but the bridal party. I personally HATE corsages, and I really kind of feel like it's an unnecessary expense. Everyone who will be at the wedding knows who our parents/grandparents are...and if they feel left out we will find another way to honor them.
we werent planning on doing them, especially because my mother really didnt feel like it, but then we didnt want to accidentally hurt my MIL's feelings (she's not difficult at all, she's actually great, but we just thought maybe she would really like getting flowers, and we didnt want to sort of leave her out. anyway, we ended up getting pretty little nosegays for them to cary and it worked out great (and looks lovely in the photos)
We're doing wrist corsages for the moms and one grandmother, plus we'll give them little embroidered hankies. We figured pin-on corsages could rip delicate dress fabrics and then hankies will help with tears!
We aren't planning on doing it. We are only doing flowers for the bridal party. My fi doesn't even want them for himself and the groomsmen. We are trying to cut things out to help our budget and the flowers are one of them. I'd ask your moms how they feel about it.
The only person that had a flower/coursage was my husbands nanny, she wanted one-she is 85 so cute. I didn't really like the thought of my mom or mil having to have some bright colored flower that would probably clash with their dress. Also with the guys I just wanted their outfits to just be simple so we opted out on the boutinerres too
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