No-dress fret! Unsuccessful dress shopping is leaving me discouraged

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@mrs-to-be-2014:  Have you tried on anything other than slim fits with poofs at the bottom?

 

Your friends may be right that you’re being too hard on yourself, but better to do that now than have to purchase 2+ dresses after a bout of dress regret.

Post # 5
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@mrs-to-be-2014:  LOL you need to watch SYTTD, I’m pretty sure there’s a few episodes where Randy talks about that girl that just can’t make up her mind.

 

Maybe you’re looking for something that’s just MORE and need to try a different, more out there designer?  The ones you’re trying on are beautiful (don’t get offended I’m an Aodrae bride) but look very mainstream.

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Are you trying on dresses you HATE on the hanger?

My dress wound up being one of like 5 dresses I REALLY didn’t want to try on… and then it was The Dress!

Post # 8
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@mrs-to-be-2014:  Is there any way you can take a small break to clear your head and come back to things with a fresh outlook? 

Post # 10
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree with the suggestion to take a break for a couple of weeks.  Don’t try on dresses, don’t look at dresses online or in magazines, don’t watch SYTTD, etc.  After the break, try to put less pressure on yourself- not everyone gets “that feeling” about their wedding dress.

Post # 11
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Read your most recent post after my previous message posted.  So you’ve tried taking a break and that hasn’t helped.  Hm.  One thing to consider as you’re looking a photos of yourself in the dresses is that they aren’t entirely representative of how you would look on your wedding day.  The dresses aren’t altered to fit you, I presume you don’t have your wedding hair and makeup, and your pictures are not comparable to those that your photographer will produce.  Look at the dress before and after thread.  If you’re trying on dresses that have been available for purchase for a few seasons, it may be helpful to see if you can find real wedding pictures of them.  Or at least check out real wedding pictures of similar styles.  Maybe that will help you hone in on what you like and what you think will look great on you.

 

Post # 12
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I thought I would have to get that “feeling” as well. I went to one bridal shop and it was the 6th one I tried on. I did try on 4 more dressse after that. Even though my family that was with me knew it was the dress for me I was still hesitant. I always have a hard time making decisions. I felt like I wanted to see every dress they had in the store to make me feel better and knw I was choosing the right one. I tried it on again and just said yes. I ordered it and we left. I started to have dress regret on the way home. I started looking at other websites and started thinking I should have went to other stores and tried dresses on there. I don’t think it helped not having the dress with me to put it back on to reassure myself. I just decided to go with it and when it came in try it on to see how it makes me feel. I tried it on and I just knew right away it was the dress for me. I just didn’t realize it until that moment. I still didn’t get that amazing feeling and cry like everyone says you should, but I just knew it.

There is a dress somewhere out there for you. Just relax and don’t worry about having that feeling because not everyone has it or its in a different way. All these tv shows wanna make us think that you have to have that feeling in order to know its your dress. So not true. I hope you find your dream dress. Good luck! 🙂

Post # 14
Hostess
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@mrs-to-be-2014:  I’m so sorry! It is such a hard and very important decision and we are so easily overwhelmed by it all.

It took me five months and well over 100 dresses to find the right one. Even after purchasing I had dress regret up until my wedding day, talk about discouraging! In the end on my wedding day it was absolutely the perfect dress for me and for some reason I was just being too critical.

I definitely suggest going by yourself at the next appointment. Take pictures of your venue (or look it up on your phone) and describe your wedding to the bridal consultant. Go to a smaller boutique that will take their time with you (versus the chains like David’s Bridal). Evaluate all the dresses and see how you feel. Also, make sure your hair is done nicely and you are wearing makeup. I would also suggest when you take photos do NOT include your face in the photo, this will only distract from the dress.

Best of luck and keep us updated!

Post # 15
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

have you had your hair/makeup trial yet? Or maybe just go get a blow out and do your make up a bit fancier the next time you go, so maybe you’ll get more of the “real” look instead of being ‘normal you in a wedding dress”.

Post # 16
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I agree with @asbtoabs:  on everything she said.  And I just wanted to add when I first tried on my dress I loved it and bought and then when I went home and looked at pictures I hated the way I looked in it.  Once I got MY dress in that fits me perfectly I feel like it looks so much better and I absolutly love it.  So you really can’t believe those pictures of you because you aren’t all done up, they don’t fit, and I’m sure the pictures aren’t great quality. 

Also my mom told me something that really stuck. I was aprehensive about actually purchasing a dress because what if there was something else out there?  She asked, is it beautiful? Do you feel comfortable in it? Do you feel pretty in it?  You don’t have to find “the one” because it may not be out there but as long as you find a nice gown that you feel good in, you don’t need anything else.

Good luck!!!! I really hope it doesn’t take much longer for you to find something you love.

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