- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
We're not having dancing and are having a dry reception, too. I was definitely pretty concerned that people were going to be bored but FILs and my parents have assured me people will be happy to mingle and not miss the dancing/drinking at all. This is also why we have made our reception at 2pm-so it would be less of an issue to not have either. We are having a photobooth (DIY) and our guestbook is going to be postcard size notes that we will have on the guest tables for guests to fill out leisurely, so that should fill some time. Our meal is buffet, time filled with a line, and we'll have a cake cutting (but no tosses). I've gotten over the worry that people will be bored as I think a lot of folks will be glad to sit around, chat and get to know the other side of the family/friends. It's only a few hours, adults can certainly entertain themselves with conversation for that long!
Since it sounds like a lot of people at your wedding would either not approve or would not care to engage in the dancing, my opinion would be to leave the dancing out of the reception, just have a shorter reception. Then let the people who do like to dance know that you will all be going out to a bar, club, whatever to do some dancing and or have an after party. Would that be an option for you? Cause it sounds like you kind of want to have some dancing at some point even though some people in your wedding don't.
I've been to a few weddings with no dancing, and they were still a ton of fun! You can choose a friend or aunt/uncle to be your emcee and organize games that would be fun for everyone to watch.
I dont understand what religon has to do with not liking dancing. Personally I would be bored out of my mind if i went to a wedding with no drinking & dancing. Thats the best part of weddings! Besides the cake of course!
I don't think there's anythign wrong with your idea for a wedding. My parents just went to one like this and while they described it as 'different', they also remembered and commented on all the unique touches and of course how happy the bride and groom were.
Just be careful - you said there's a bar outside of your reception room. Most of your guests will probably spend a lot of time out there, not just for the alcohol but the social aspect. We had a bar in the reception room for this reason and people still hung out by the bar most of the time.
"From the oldest of times, people danced for a number of reasons. They danced in prayer... or so that their crops would be plentiful... or so their hunt would be good. And they danced to stay physically fit... and show their community spirit. And they danced to celebrate." And that is the dancing we're talking about. Aren't we told in Psalm 149 "Praise ye the Lord. Sing unto the Lord a new song. Let them praise His name in the dance"? And it was King David - King David, who we read about in Samuel - and what did David do? What did David do? "David danced before the Lord with all his might... leaping and dancing before the Lord." -Footloose
I think drinking and dancing go hand in hand. If there is no drinking then people won't want to dance much so it is best to not have it at all. Because if you are relying on dancing to be your entertainment, then it may be quite boring if there isn't drinking involved to help get things going.
That being said, I think you can find plenty of ways to entertain your guests without either. Think of all other types of parties people throw from back yard bbqs to dinner parties that do not involve dancing that people have fun at. I like the idea of board games... cards, connect four, even simple board games like Trouble or classic kid games like Hungry Hippo could be lots of fun. If it is an outdoor wedding, how about croquet or bachee (sp?) ball.
What I would do is find a way to let guests know the plans before hand so they don't come in expecting the usual drinking and dancing reception. As long as they are prepared they will be just fine with it... and given your crowd, it sounds like they will be acutally more excited by the plans. Just word on the invitations... "dinner and games to follow" or something like that.
Almost every wedding I went to until I was 25 had no drinking and no dancing (I grew up in a Southern Baptist town). The guests talked to each other, laughed with the bride and groom, and had fun without alcohol (gasp! it CAN be done).
If you think your guests would like board games, then feel free to set up some game tables. If you do a search on "the shoe game" it sounds like that has been fun.. A photobooth? karaoke? Just think about fun parties that you've been to, and incorporate those ideas...at the end of the day, a reception is a big old party to celebrate your marriage, and of course you should plan the party that will be the most fun for your friends and families.
We aren't having drinking or dancing at our wedding either. The property that we are getting married and having our reception on is church property, and therefore no alcohol is allowed. We aren't really big into dancing, and don't really like any DJs, so we won't be having dancing either. I say if it's not important to you, then just skip it. It's not worth worrying about. We will probably have some music playing softly in the background off our Ipod. My FI's parents are hosting a small dinner for us later that night, and we will be serving alcohol there. Since our reception is in the afternoon, I don't think anyone is going to miss the alcohol.
Also, since our wedding and reception are outdoors and lakeside, we are going to have lawn games for people to play if they wish.
I agree with ModernDaisy. If you have a bar down the hall, any "drinkers" you have will hang out down there. That's the only concern I see...otherwise, you should do what you want! My favorite part of weddings is the dancing (well, and drinking), but all weddings are fun because people are there to celebrate you so I'm sure everybody will have fun!
I was just at a wedding where the bride's cousins were stealing the groom's shoes!
As far as no dancing, well, as long as you are ok with people sorta standing around, that's what'll happen. Having a dance floor will probably bring your drinks (who, i admit, will likely hang out AT the bar....i see it at every stinkin' wedding i go to) back to the wedding. There will definitely be some splitting of the groups
As far as "dancing" goes, what about just some nice soft jazz music. I've seen old couples get up to do a sweet slow dance together or a little bit of swing music. Are they against ALL dancing, or just the "let's get funky" party dancing?
Just keep in mind that if you have some music going, some people will probably dance. I personally love a slow jazz song. it's sweet =]
Why not just set up your reception as an AWESOME dinner party- and keep it shorter. I've noticed that a lot of dry weddings I've attended don't have much dancing anyway. Board games are cool- so is a photobooth- maybe have a singer/group come in? I'm filipina and we have some beautiful cultural entertainment, maybe you have some culturally significant entertainment?
We just got married without drinking and dancing, at least at the reception proper, and our guests lived to tell, haha! My family objects for religious reasons as well, so more than half of our guests were comfortable with it. We had a brunch reception so our other guests wouldn't really be expecting to drink or dance. I was really happy with how it turned out! It was short, though, so I would bear that in mind, but it was still great. We had a DIY photobooth/guestbook also and it was a big hit.
Having said that, a lot of our friends and my DH's family really like to party, so we had an "after party" that night, and I must say it was really fun! Everyone had a great time, so if you can afford to reserve a space at a restaurant or bar, I would recommend it! We had a snack bar and hosted beer and wine and made a playlist ourselves that went over great!
Tons of people skip alcohol and dancing all the time. It's not as rare or strange as some might think. Just serve a ton of yummy non-alcoholic options. If there is no dancing, people mingle and they love the chance to catch up with family and friends that they have not seen recently. Most people don't feel the need for other entertainment in that case. But you can do whatever you want.
I really don't get why so many people think that people can't dance without alcohol. People that like dancing will dance to music whether there is alcohol or not. The two do not go hand in hand. If your crowd doesn't like dancing itself, then don't have dancing. The two are completely unrelated unless everyone you know is completely socially awkward with no rhythm.
Maybe you could have a like a live jazz trio or something mellow like that... that would provide some background and entertainment and still allow for some dancing (not anything crazy) by the people who want to dance. Having your reception earlier in the day may also lessen people's desires to hang out by the bar for long chunks of time during your party. Also since your wedding is in the summer maybe think of some outdoor games people may want to play like boccee ball or something. Whatever you do make sure it's what YOU TWO want. That's what the day is about!!
Like kittyachi, I am also puzzled as to what dancing and alcohol have to do with each other.
@Ms. Meowerson: southern baptists do not believe in dancing (I don't know if that is what the OP is but to each their own...)
I think if you think board games would go over well with your crowd then go for it, but if it's only a select few that would enjoy is don't do it. For example one of my BMs is is another wedding where the bride wants to have swing dance instructors walk around grabbing people and showing them how to swing dace. NO ONE except the bride and groom swing dance (according to my BM), and I personally would leave right after the ceremony if this were to happen, so it's not going to go over well.
Think of what you guys and your gusts would really enjoy and run with it!
@Kittyachi, I completely agree. The weddings and anniversary parties I have attended where there was dancing didn't have any alcohol and the dance floors were packed. Some people have a certain mindset of how they think things should be and refuse to step outside of that box for any reason.
@Ms. Meowerson:My family is all about being conservative in the sense that people shouldn't flaunt their bodies. The religious reason behind disliking dancing is that you're moving your body in a provocative way.
@VagabondGurl:I'm hoping that the adults will be able to fill the time with conversation, too! Most of my family's weddings go on for hours because people can't stop chatting.
@Steak: I ilke the idea of having lots of games to play. In our group of friends, the alcohol will be untouched but the night will always end in people grouping off to play board games.
@ejs4y8:They're mainly against the kind of dancing where there's a lot of grinding, etc. Most of my friends don't really dance like that, but we have a couple of friends who would be kind of obnoxious even if we asked them not to be. Personally, I don't really like dancing and really would rather not with my father in law or some of my guy friends but I know that they'd be disrespectful of my wishes if I asked beforehand. It's just an awkward situation, I guess, that I'm trying to avoid as well.
@JessB331: I love the idea of a mingling jazz trio though! I think it's a really great idea, I just need to find one!
Thank you everyone for your opinions!
We are also not having any alcohol or dancing at our reception in October. We're having a dinner reception around 6:30 and there will be plenty of food for dinner as well as a coffee bar, build your own ice cream sundae station, and the cake. We'll have plenty of time to talk with all of our guests but it won't go late into the night. I imagine we'll be done and out of there by 9:00 which FI and I are both happy about!
I feel like for the most part people have been supportive in answering your question however I think there are been a few rude, condescending comments regarding religion and dancing and a wedding being boring. We will have tons of kids there and I will provide a lot of activities to keep them busy (I'm a teacher...kids with nothing to do=disaster) and if a grown adult like some of the posters above can't find a way to occupy their time for 3 hours then they can either leave or head over to the kiddie table and expect to be treated like a 4 year old. I don't think it's a big deal. One night without drinking isn't going to kill anyone.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 52 |
| This Time Round | 47 |
| Brielle | 43 |
| Future Mrs K | 42 |
| ndreighton | 40 |
| mypinkshoes | 34 |
| his chippymunk | 34 |
| Cady | 32 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 32 |
| TheLionQueen | 31 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| andielovesj | 5 |
| DeeVine1217 | 5 |
| beargoose | 4 |
| AshleyR83 | 4 |
| fishbone | 4 |
 Jamcnair |
3 |
| his chippymunk | 3 |
| ana77 | 3 |
| mightywombat | 2 |
| dkeller30 |
2 |
My family is against drinking for religious purposes so we're not including it at all. If people want to get drinks, there is a bar in the hotel that's actually right outside our reception hall. I talked about this with my father in law and he agreed because he's not very into drinking as well.
Anyway, we're kind of on the border of whether or not we should have dancing. My grandparents and a couple other relatives seem to get offended by dancing (for relgious reasons) and they've attended weddings of other relatives that had dancing and they left early. Most of the rest of my family would not get out on the dancefloor either, but aren't too opposed to the idea. We're not really big into dancing either - we're both really uncoordinated. I'm not into the whole father daughter dance idea because my parents aren't in my life anymore.
The majority of our friends are also self proclaimed nerds and would rather not dance but play board games or something else instead.
Do you have any ideas for entertainment instead of dancing? I'm having the hardest time thinking of things! Culturally, people play a lot of games like stealing the groom's shoes, etc., but I don't know how to orchestrate that kind of thing.
Anyone else not having dancing? What did you do instead?