Post # 1
We are 33 days away from our wedding. When we started the guest list we established a very strict no- exs rule. They were to be completely left off the list, even if they were dating a friend that we were close to. After we got engaged we asked our wedding party right away because we were so excited. It wasn’t untill after I asked by FIs best friend to be one of my bridesmaids that I found out that they dated, had sex, and all of the details about what he likes, how often they did it… and anything else you could imagine to make this conversation tasteless.
As if this wasn’t enough she also managed to throw my sister completely under the bus because they have a mutual friend.
I do not want her to be in the wedding because of the no-exs rule, she isn’t out any money because they are just wearing black dresses. FI knows I feel this way but everything we get together I have to listen to their colored history. I had only met her once before I had asked her, and only asked her because they were so close.
Please help. What would you do. I am not angry at FI, I am almost sure that I told me about it.
Post # 3
kick the bitch out. she shouldn’t be talking about that kind of stuff with you at all. you only met her once, so i don’t think it was probably the best idea to have her standing up for YOU in the first place.
Post # 4
weve spent quite a bit of time together sense i have asked her but they have been friends sense middle school. I guess they dated a hand full of years ago… slept together a ton and then she broke is heart… why they are still friends is beyond me. I feel bad just cutting her out. But I so want to
Post # 5
Wait. Your FI is best friends with a girl he used to date and f*ck?
Nvm …saw your latest post.
Did she only bring this to light 33 days before your wedding? And your FI has never said anything to you up until this point either?
Post # 6
Leave her out! Why would you even ask someone who you had only met one time before anyways?
Post # 7
I get that you’re upset but what I don’t understand is how/why your FI wouldn’t have said something to you about this? If you sat down and discussed “no exes,” why would he think it was okay to have this random girl that he used to screw stand up as one of your BMs?
Post # 8
@future.mrs.campfield: then you should. you’re not obligated to have her in your bridal party, you’re not even friends. you have that rule, so put it to use! just because she’s a girl friend of his doesn’t mean she belongs on your side. your side of the bridal party should be the women who are closest to and most supportive of you, not some random chick who banged and left your FH.
Post # 9
Say what? Why is she on your side anyway? If she’s FI’s best friend, she should be on his side. We’re talking about pictures and memories that will last more than a lifetime… it’s a little late in the game, but I’d remove her from your side at the very least. I’d probably downgrade her to ‘guest’ with this new info as well.
Post # 10
@milesbella:That’s what confuses me also. You said you set up a “no-exes” rule. You then asked this girl to be your BM and he said nothing? That seems strange. Even if he had mentioned it before, I’m suprised he didn’t say something!
I would probably kick her out if you have a strict no-exes rule, unfortunately.
Post # 11
Kick her out for being disrespectful of your upcoming marriage. She should not be talking about her past with him while she helps you plan the day you start your future with him. Why does she even rub this in your face, if not just to be obnoxious? Totally inappropriate.
Post # 12
You are almost sure “I told me about it?!” What? So you’re pissed that you found out all the nasty details, from who exactly?
And why are you not mad at FI again?
Post # 13
yea, she would be out. Plus i would have a problem with FI for not telling me about it.
Post # 14
Why didn’t your FI mention this to you when you made this “no exs rule”!?
Scratch that, how did he fail to mention to you that he used to bump uglies with one of his close friends he still hangs out with until now!?
Post # 15
@jenewitt: I agree!!
more importantly why did your fiance not tell you?? I think thats a bigger issue then having someone in your party whos history you dont like.