Post # 1
I have a very small family of only my mom and sister. neither of them agree with my wedding and arent coming. my wedding will be very far away, the other side of my country so my close friesnds cannot come, and are not the same religion so dont really understand. my church friends don’t understand and most are not going to come.
also i am paying for it all myself and we have not much money. i also dont drink or eat meat.
so i have two questions
a) can i just not have a reception after? why would i pay for a bunch of people i dont know to have a party?
b) will it be bad if i dont serve meat or alcohol?
c) will it be weird i dont have any family there?
Post # 3
The only family I had at my wedding was my mom. I didn’t invite any other people related to me as I don’t time them.
You can serve whatever you want. You can do vegetarian and alcohol free. I’d make sure your FI is ok with this though.
as for the reception – how many guests are you expecting? If your mom and sites aren’t coming, and your friends can’t make it, who is going to be there? How many of FI’s friends/family will be attending?
You can always do a cake and punch reception. Or a lunch/brunch meal. Both of those are much cheaper but its still some time to celebrate with your guests
Post # 4
Etiquette does *not* require someone to host a wedding that he or she cannot afford. All it requires is that, if you do host some type or reception, that you provide whatever is to be served to your guests.
I have had friends whose budgets were very tight, and they hosted “punch and cake” receptions in their church’s fellowship halls following their ceremonies. Such receptions provide a time of celebration with — and very light refeshment for — those who are in attendance and are not a huge cost burden for a couple or their families. The only caveat concering having a lighter reception is that you should not hold it during a traditional meal time. An afternoon reception would likely be best.
Post # 5
@BrideofChrist: the ceremony is the most important part of the wedding. A reception is optional. Anyway it’s your day so whatever you feel most comfortable with is ok.
Post # 6
@Glasgowbound: bless you, thats a great idea. basically i am being consecrated to God in a ceremony like a wedding. so many people from local churches, many priests and such wil be there. but mu close friends are not catholic and neither is my fam.
i feel like if people are coming a long way, i need to make it nice for them. but we are on our own and have no money, and no fam to contribute any dough. so i cant afford much.
will people understand, or should i write onthe invite that there will only be cake and punch after, and that it is veggie and alcohol free?
i think about 150 would come if i invite the loccal churches. but if not, probably only about 20.
did people ask where your fam was? i am sad my fam dont want to share the speical day.
Post # 7
@Brielle: i think i will do that. if people are coming a very long way, do i need to provide a hotel for them?
Post # 8
For entirely different reasons we didn’t have a reception. Instead, we served cake and champagne at the church and then drove off into the sunset…
Post # 9
@BrideofChrist: no one asked where my family was. All of my friends know that they are crazy 🙂
since your situation is a bit different, I think you can do whatever you like! I’d do cake and punch and I would put thairon the invitation – cake reception to follow or something like that.
Post # 10
Can you ask your priest or members of the church what is typically done after these ceremonies? I would think, if anything, your church community would want to have an informal gathering, like a potluck, that you would not have to pay for.
Post # 11
I would suggest having the ceremony at a non-meal time, having punch and cake and thats it.
Post # 12
I think people will understand. I would just put something like “reception with light refreshments” or “dessert” to follow on your invitations.
Post # 13
We put “Cake and Merriment to follow” on the bottom of our invites and served cake and punch
Post # 14
No need to pay for a hotel. You could provide a list of nearby hotels as a courtesy but I really don’t think anyone would expect you to pay for it.
Post # 15
@BrideofChrist: Why are you guys even inviting anyone?. You only need two people there to be wittnesses on the the marriage license. Skip all the craziness and so that you won’t hurt feelings just have you your SO the officiant and the wittnesses.
Post # 16
@remijp: my priest hasnt come across it before, there are not many consecrated virgins around!
@Amandarhill: i am marrying the Lord, so i’d be alone! plus i want many people to be joyous – they may not be my biological family but my Bridegroom has a huge family! the whole wolrd infact…