(Closed) No Father of the Bride…Questions

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Related but no related – my dad has also passed away and I was wondering if it would be too weird to have my mom and sisters and I dance to "we are family"  or too much of a spectacle.

I think if I had a brother and could make your choice I would go for it and it would definitely not me too weird (in comparison to my potential weirdness).  I think you should try to pick something that fits your personalities and it will seem normal – (country, wacky, whatever)   Just stay away from any love songs and you should be fine.

Post # 4
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

My mom is walking me down the aisle since my dad gave me away a long time ago…

However, over the past few years I have gotten to know my dad better again and I have decided to do a father/daughter dance at the same time my FI dances with his mom.

I choose a song called, "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts…it’s basically about wanting good in someone’s life…"my wish" is that your struggles are small and you are happy…stuff like that….

So maybe a song like that since it’s not so father/daughter oriented!

Post # 5
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

Weddings are hard when it comes to all the father-daughter stuff. I completely am feeling your pain.
My sister had our brother walk her down the aisle and they danced to "what a wonderful world"- a song we played at my father’s funeral. It was beautiful and everyone cried- and my brother was cracking jokes to keep my sister from bawling (complete with ugly cry face)… we got GREAT pictures of it too.

I am having my mother walk me down the aisle and we are having a mother daughter dance while FH is dancing with his ma! LOL! We’re a little unconventional, but that’s what I want, b/c I’m close to my mom and that’s just our relationship.

Post # 6
Member
6 posts
Newbee

If you don’t mind being really untraditional, why don’t you walk down the aisle with the groom?

 I was at a wedding, where both parents were alive, but the couple didn’t like the idea of "giving away of the bride"….they are a modern, professional couple.  They didn’t have a bridal party either.  So both sets of parents walked down the aisle, and then the bride and groom.

 They did have a father/daughter, son/mother dance.  But, in the end, it is your wedding and you should do what you want.

Post # 7
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

I think it would be sweet if you danced with your brother!  Definitely would not be weird at all! 

Just an idea, but I saw a spread in a magazine where the bride had two tiny picture frame/charm like things with photos in them attached to the ribbon around her boquet, it looked really classy and is another way you can incorporate them into the ceremony. 

Post # 9
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2007

It’s different for everyone–there is no right answer here.  My dad died and it was important to me to walk down the aisle alone.  In the program I wrote that I was accompanied by his memory.  As for the dance, we skipped it and had an anniversary dance for both sets of my grandparents that were celebrating their 60th and 55th anniversaries during the month we got married. 

 I think people are touched when you do something that feels good to you and helps you honor the ones you love and the ones you lost.  There is nothing tacky about that.  Personally, if I was at your wedding and you danced with your brother or gaudior danced with her mom and sisters I’d be tearing up or beaming at how wonderful it was.  Just be true to you and everyone else will be on board.

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2007

Oh, and I pinned a photo of my dad and me when I was little in my dress and it was my something old.

Post # 11
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

Lots of really good ideas I wish I would have had when I was planning my wedding!  I really struggled with how to incorporated my father and his mother in our ceremony. (Both of whom had passed away recently)

My brother walked me down the aisle – which was perfect for me 🙂 

We had two orchids the symbolized our parents behind us and had the preacher read this at the beginning of the ceremony.  (we didn’t have programs to print it in)

Though we are separated physically,
Faith and love have bound us eternally.

Though we cannot see you,
We know you are here.

Though we cannot touch you,
We feel the warmth of your smile, as we begin a new chapter in our lives

We skipped both the Father/Daughter and Mother/Son dances.  The day was so emotional as it was – I just needed these to not even be a thought. (We didn’t have much dancing in general)

Hubby and I did dance to two first dance songs.  Tim & Faith’s It’s Your Love and Heartland’s I Loved Her First.  Of course it made me cry – but that song is just so powerful for me, I knew I had to include it, and it was my way of including my dad 🙂

Whatever choices you make will be very special!

Post # 12
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I love the idea of you having your first dance with your brother- it is making me teary all ready- He is your closest family and you should definitely honor that- I think your parents would have wanted it that way- I’m so sorry for your loss- I’m sure your parens would be sooo proud of you!

Post # 13
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2007

I lost my father nearly eleven years ago.  Since I do not have a brother, I decided to walk myself down the aisle.  DH met me toward the end and escorted me the rest of the way.  In my heart, I knew that my father was by my side. As for the father/daughter dance, I asked my father-in-law if he would dance with me.  He was touched when I asked him and agreed.  We danced to What a Wonderful World.  It was a special and fun moment for me.  Thankfully, I have been blessed with amazing in-laws. I think you should do what will make you happy.  Remember, it is your day…make it beautiful!

Post # 14
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

My dad is deceased as well. My brother is walking me down the aisle and he is going to dance with me for the father/daughter dance. We are dancing to Josh Grobin’s "to where you are". 

Post # 15
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My father is deceased as well and I am not sure what to do.  My plan was to skip the father/daughter dance completely and have my mom walk me down the aisle. 

I technically have a "godfather", who was my dad’s closest cousin but I am not close to all (he lives all the way across the country).  My dad’s family expects him to walk me down the aisle and do the father/daughter dance. I feel awkward with this, it wouldn’t mean that much to me and I don’t want anyone to try and take my dad’s spot.  How do I politely refuse? 

Is there another way I could incorporate him that would still be an honor, but not trying to substitute for my dad?

Post # 16
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

My father is also deceased.  My sister will be walking me down the aisle, and instead of a father-daughter dance, I’m thinking about doing a "family dance" – my sister & brother-in-law, niece & her husband, and nephew will join me for a special dance.  

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