Post # 1
My last LTR before meeting Fi was a nightmare and his mother… wow… words can’t even describe. So…… when I met FI and found out he didn’t have family, crushed wasn’t really the words for it. LOL. And after hearing so many FMIL and FSIL horror posts in some ways it’s releiving. But….. While I’m happy not to deal with drama like I did with x’s Mom-zilla…. I must say I feel sorry for FI during this wedding planning. We’ve had to cut out things like “Roses for the mothers” during our ceremony and I wasn’t positive I wanted a father/daughter dance because we cant do a mother/son dance. I am thrilled that I get to share this special day with not only each other but family… can’t help but feel like he’s left out in the family dept.
Post # 3
Does he have siblings or aunts or uncles you can include? My dad also lost both of his parents before he even met my mom, so they had a similar situation. I know my mom included his two sisters both in the wedding planning, and I think that helped a bit. It’s hard, but it’s doable.
Post # 4
Aww… that can’t be easy and I’m sorry that your FI lost his parents. 🙁 While you can’t do some of the things that would typically involved parents that are both living, there are some beautiful ways to honor family members who have passed. Some people do candle lightings, or I’ve seen people place roses on empty chairs for moms who are no longer with them in place of the rose ceremony. Another bride had the officiant read a favorite poem of her mother’s who had passed away as tribute to her, and it was really moving and a really nice way to include her mom.
As far as your father/daughter dance goes, I would definitely talk to FI about how he feels. I bet he would still want you to share that moment with your dad even though he can’t join in with your mom. I also kind of feel like that moment is more about the daddy/daughter dance than it is about the groom/mom anyway, but that could just be my particular bias.
Post # 5
this is a toughy. My fi lost his mother 2 years ago and planning the wedding he said who is going to the mother/son dance with me. and started crying.
i didnt even know there was such a thing! i had never seen it. I told my mom and she offered to dance with him during that and even found a great song. i love my mom so much and i was extremely happy she offered.
He is happy and is excited but i know it hurts him. he tells me that if his mom was around she would be able to help us with our wedding (my parents are helping us pay for it) and he gets so sad.
I always tell him that she is so proud of him and is up there watching him and for the day of our wedding she will be with him the WHOLE night.
Post # 6
sorry for all of your losses. i totally misrepresented this one. his parents aren’t dead. well his mom isn’t anyways. she just hasn’t spoken to him in several years. some awful dramas mostly on her end. I think the idea of my mom dancing with him could be cute!!! I think she’d like that too. thanks for some great ideas.