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I can't remember the last time I was at a wedding with a flowergirl or ring bearer. I've only seen the best man hold the ring...and that always seems to work out just fine!
When my FI's brother and sis-in-law got married, they did not have a flower girl or ring bearer. My FI was the Best Man and said his bro just gave the rings to him to hold until it was time to put them on. I think it was because they didn't really know anyone with young children who could be the FG & RB, but maybe they just didn't want to have them, which I think is fine.
I didn't have a FG or RB.
While we had ample children to choose from, I didn't want the hassle. At my sister's wedding, my cousin's little girl was a big pain in the butt. She knew everyone was counting on her to walk down the aisle (she was 4 years old) so she made a big deal of it and her mom had to bribe her to get her to walk. Oh, and she licked her fingers (basically she made a peace sign with her hand and stuck her tongue through it- if she was older it would have been obscene), refused to carry the basket (insisting she carry the tossing bouquet instead), walked hugging the pews, didn't smile, and didn't make any eye contact.
It was more disruptive than cute.
Since my FI and I were averse to being at the mercy of child, we just had the best man put the rings in his pocket and that was that.
I don't think anyone missed the FG or RB.
It works just fine. My sister didnt have either and the best man just kept the rings in his pocket. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. As her MOH I was the last maid down the isle before her entrance.
My neice will be about a year and a half at our wedding so she'll be the flowergirl but if she didn't exist I wouldn't have one. We're also asking our mutual good friend (he's 27) to be our "bearer of the rings" b/c we aren't having any other friends in our wedding party but thought it would be a fun way to include him. And also add a fun element to our very traditional religious ceremony.
I was in a wedding where there was no ring bearer or flower girl. It worked fine, and I don't think anyone really noticed (actually, even I didn't really think about it until I read your post). I think that the ring bearer and flower girl can be a nice addition if it works out in a wedding, but in my mind they don't really serve a necessary purpose... flowers can either be already in the aisle or not done at all, and the rings are usually with the best man anyway, right (unless you've got a really trustworthy ring bearer, I guess). I think everyone is there to see the bride and groom.
My sister had the most amazing wedding...and they didn't have a FG or ring bearer. I don't think a single guest noticed the absence. Things actually went smoother...the size of the wedding party was ideal, and it also scaled down the rehearsal dinner size (allowing her in-laws to invite some of their out-of-town family).
In my opinion, couples should only have these in their wedding if you're really close to a young boy or girl. Otherwise, it's not meaningful!
I'm not having them, either. BM will hold my ring, MOH will hold FI's. I'll walk down the aisle right after my MOH.
I guess its alot more common then what I thought! And esp since I'm not a huge "kid person" and netiher is my FI it makes sense too, no hassle and simple. Plus we have 12 people in our wedding party total so there will be plently of people walking down the isle before me :) Thanks ya'll!
AnnieAAA we are not having a Flower Girl or a Ring Bearer either!
We both dont have any nieces or nephews and we are not inviting anyone under the age of 21 anyway. So we decided to do without.
I will walk down the ailse directly after my MOH.
I don't think we're going to have a flower girl or ring bearer either. I have some cute younger cousins, but I don't think they are young enough to fall into the typical age ranges of those roles and would probably not want to do it anyway:D I think the event will be just fine without.
We're not having either and I don't think its all that unusual... it's certainly not worth asking some random kid if you don't have one close to you, which we don't.
Most of the weddings I've been to do not have flower girls or ring bearers. I didn't think we were going to have one, but my fiance has a little girl cousin who is 3 and I have a little boy cousin who is also 3, so we just asked them. I'm not going to let him actually hold the rings though :)
I hope it goes smoothly and both Moms are planning exit strategies if something gets messed up. Do you think it would be bad if I had them walk in front of my sister (Matron of Honor) in case they needed to be scooted along, or is that bad?
We're not having either. There are just no children of appropriate age that we know well. They're all either too old or too young. The best man will take hold of the rings.
The past two weddings we've been in/attended didn't have a flower girl or ringbearer - for one the couples weren't close to their young relatives or they werne't able to attend, the second was a smaller wedding with no children at all.
If you're not close to any kids I agree that you shouldn't have just anyone, just to have them... the only reason we'll be having both is that I'm quite close to my little cousins, but if it weren't for them we wouldn't be having either!
We aren't having a FG or a RB in our wedding. We made the decision not to invite children (no one under 16) and thought that if we were to include FG/RB, that would be inconsistent. I didn't want there to be some children who were included and others who were excluded.
I don't think it will really change much about our ceremony. We'll just give the rings to the MOH and Best Man before the ceremony. I will just enter following my MOH. To signify my enterance, we'll have the musicians change songs and my mom will stand up in her seat (getting all the other guests to stand up, too).
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I am not having a FG or RB because of too much family drama. Everyone in our family wants their kids in the wedding. If we choose one, we would have to choose the other, and someone willend up getting hurt if we don't choose their kid. We decided not to have any and just save ourselves the stress and trouble. I do agree that it can be cute, but then again, they can act very uncute that day and start crying or screaming...that is something to think about. good luck!
I was struggling with how to incorporate my 10 yr old niece as a FG but having no FG or RB sounds so much better!!
We're not having them either. Originally we were thinking about having just a flower girl, but then realized that we aren't close to the two little girls that we actually do know, so we just decided to scrap that idea. Now that i know so many others didn't have them, i feel much better about the decision.
We are not going to have them either. We arent really close enough to any kids in that age range to ask them to be a part of our ceremony.
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We are having a flower girl and ring bearer (niece and nephew) who we are close to but I don't think you need them if you are not close to anyone. Our ring bearer won't be actually carrying the rings the BM and MOH will have those but he will carry a ring bowl with a symbolic message.
My friend had no flowergirls but had a junior bridesmaid. Maybe you can have your maid of honor to bring the rings.
We are having a ring bearer. My future nephew who will be a little over 3 when we get married. I'm kind of anticpating the worst. I've heard lots of horror stories.
We want him as the ring bearer though and if it works it works. If not no biggie.
I keep going back and forth on the flowergirl. Well I'm pretty sure we won't have one. I have a college friend who has a daughter who would almost be 3. I'm just not very close to her daughter. She could either be a terror or steal the show from the ring bearer. So, we've decided we don't need a flower girl. Even though I really like the idea of one. I wish we had a niece and a nephew!
i think it's fine not to have one... we're not having any for our wedding either. Flowergirls and Ring bearers are cute but I've been to too many weddings where one or the other is crying or runs off in the opposite direction.... and you have the mom or dad trying to coax them down the aisle...
We are not having a flowergirl or ringbearer. Particularly now that we're having the wedding in Vegas. But I must say, right after I got engaged, there was immediate pressure from all these people that i didn't even know to want their children as our flowergirl/ringbearer. Just crazy!
We never even thought about having them; I guess we never saw it as an issue. You'll be fine without them!
I've actually never been to a wedding with a flower girl and a ring bearer! We're not going to have either one; the best man will carry the rings.
We're having 2 FGs - my cousins who are 8 and 5. But if it weren't for them, we would have just done without and that would have been fine.
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So, I think my wedding is going to happen with no flowergirl & no ring bearer. We don't know any little kids and I don't want just anybodys kids in the wedding. Also, I'm not too keen on the idea of an adult flowergirl (I'm untraditional & eccentric, but not that much.) So I'm curious if ya'll have been to any weddings with no FG or RB? How was it? How did it work?